Spirituality Updates: Deities, Growth etc... 5/16/2020
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So... I feel like a lot of people follow me because of my past Aphrodite back when I was a "devotee", so I feel that a little update was in order. I wanna able to have a place to record and process my growth. Peoples posts on experiences in the deity tags helped push me foreward in my spiritual practice so... *shrugs*. If you wanna skip any backstory, my current deity experiences will be under the green line.
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So I'm not an 🕊Aphrodite Devotee 🕊anymore. Well, to be honest I tried my best at the time. I felt drawn to her when I stumbled upon the blog posts of @rosegoldtunic and was hit with a bunch of Aphrodite love... which before this, my experience with deities was slim to none. I'm not clairvoyant so I'm not exactly confronted with spiritual presences on the regular. Or hadn't. I'd been a baby witch(non...practicing cuz depression and fear but anyway)for a couple years. My first Deity interaction was the baby witch equivalent of poking Apollo a couple of times, giving him a picture of flowers I colored in therapy and waiting for affection. Didnt work too well as you can guess... but anyway. I WAS FLOODED WITH APHRODITE LOVE one day, knowing she just loved me for everything I was, and it really hit me hard. I was in the darkest part of my life, and I had... really no one who made me feel loved. So after a month or so I got educated and declared myself an "Aphrodite Devotee" hoping to be able to live my life with more love and, gain more of her love too. But it was... a bad situation. My health was shit, and looking back, I now understand I was trying really hard to force the relationship and endear myself to her. Eventually she sent some signs and had Ares sat me down to break the news that it wasnt right and she and I should have a MUCH more casual relationship. So I left her alone for a while.
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During the time I was a "devotee", I did trust in someone close to my life about my relationship with Aphrodite. I was so embarrassed that they would think I was crazy but they didnt. They had talked to me about tarot and spirits before so I felt that if there was anyone I could open up to, it would be them. Let's call this person Teal. Months or so later, Teal feels comfortable enough to share with me that they have been in contact with a local sun and moon God and Goddess. They didnt talk much about them for a while, and I didnt question them too much because I didnt want to pry. But a little after the "talk" over tarot I had with Ares, Teal had said they wanted to do an Oracle reading for me. Well... much to both of our dismay, these Gods decided to give me one heck of an advice bomb. It turned out that not only had they been in contact and watching Teal but just my family in general and Teal communicated that they cared about me. And also that Teal was clairvoyant so communication with them was quite clear through Teal(I will not enter said Deities names here out of respect to their own privacy and to not cheapen our bonds).
Over time, it was communicated to me by all spiritual beings involved that I was holding way to hard to a deity I wasnt quite open to, and maybe I should open myself up to the deities who were closer to my home(quite literally).
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TooLazyToRead: I was forcing myself in a relationship with Aphrodite when there were other deities who were more involved in my life who I could get to know and explore my spirituality with.
The Two deities are local gods to my area, but considering I live in south Jersey... it was(and is) an adjustment to get to know them, since instead of going off lore, we were getting to know eachother through divination. And I've honestly come to love them. Getting to know them, talk to them, and give them a place in my home has made me happy in so many ways. My mental health has gotten better since I moved out of a toxic home environment and I've set up their own alters in my new apartment for us!!
Teal, a person whose intuition I trust greatly, and I, have become so much closer after he shared them(Local Gods) with me. With them, offerings feel a lot more friendly. Offerings now kinda remind me of grabbing snacks for friends while they are over.
Offerings when I first started with Aphrodite however, while I did my best, didnt feel as pure. I now realized that I was just so desperate for love that it really affected our spiritual relationship negatively. While I do not interact with her as much, I still set back up an alter space for Aphrodite, even though it is a much more casual place then my previous one.
These relationships are still new. I'm still exploring my spirituality, and even myself as a person. But it feels better with them here and I'm really happy to have them in my life.
Maybe at some point I'll share more experiences with my Deities later. And if any of you work with local deities, or deities with mot a lot of popular lore behind them, please let me know in the comments so I can see your posts! That's for sticking around this long.
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And Future Aspen, remember that growth is real. That your experiences have shown you that little moments can change your whole outlook on life and that you are so so loved. Thank you.
