#local nyc

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 11

Hello Day 11!  Growing up, it was not uncommon for me to listen to the radio in the morning.  When I was younger, it was Lite FM, 103.9 or WBLS.  Junior HS/High School, I would listen to Hot 97, KTU or Power 105.  Today, I listened to Radio Aporee.  On Day 3, while in Staten Island, I was supposed to listen to a local station.  Ironically, the station didn’t work while I was in Staten Island.  All I heard was static.  Fast forward to today, that wasn’t the issue at all.  I heard a lot.  Ranging from folks ordering their breakfast or their lunch to history about Frankfurt, I heard it all.  At one point, I didn’t know what I was supposed to be hearing.  Was this a joke like a performance or was this a real radio station?  Turns out both were true.  The platform is a collection of sounds provided by artists, phonographers and other folks.  The sounds come from all over the world.  The particular area is indicated by a different color dot on the map.  I loved this part that is written on their site, “In addition to aspects of collecting, archiving and sound-mapping, the radio aporee platform also invokes experiments at the boundaries of different media, and public space. Within this notion, radio is both a technology in transition and a narrative. It constitutes a field whose qualities are connectivity, contiguity and exchange. Concepts of transmitter/ receiver and performer/ listener may become transparent and reversible.”  I know I’m not supposed to be doing art things or thinking art-ish, but I will admit that this had my art senses tingling.  I may or may not refer back to this new resource for my own practice.  You will just have to stay tuned.

After listening to other parts of the world, now it’s time for me to listen to my own city.  For this venture, I headed over to Grand Central station.  From there I walked East on 42nd, cut through Tudor City (yes a city in a city), worked my way up to 50th, then went West until I reached Madison to loop back to Grand Central.  Aside from the sights, never have I thought to listen to my city. I hear her all the time (like it or not), but I never listened.  At the corner of 42nd and Lex, my walk started with a smile from a cyclist as bright as my hair.  I looked up and realized that the Chrysler Building was literally right there.  Thinking about the Empire State Building, I thought to myself that I need to book a tour.  Not just for the Chrysler, but for a lot of other NYC sites.  Our gems are not just for tourists, they are part of my birthright too.  With my appreciation of my city growing, I took my first steps on this listening tour.  Almost immediately, my ears are accosted by the bombarding bellows of a least five car horns.  Underneath my feet, I could hear and feel the rumbling roar of the silver snake aka the train.  That is the NYC that I know all to well.  But then, I adjusted my audio dial and turned up the volume so I could listen to the soundtrack of NYC.  It really is a profound and complex soundtrack.  Here are some of the things I heard: bus engines, dog collars clanking, water droplets colliding with the pavement, high powered air conditions, tires rolling on asphalt, people talking with different accents, ringing of bike bells, cars speeding down the FDR, sounds of construction, car doors slamming, Hip-Hop blasting out a car window, plastic bags rustling, someone sniffling, car driving over sewer lids, the wind tickling the trees, me stepping into a puddle, a sweet kissed planted a grandmother’s cheek, birds flapping their wings as they take flight, and so much more.  

I have to say the birds were going in.  Maybe it is tied to my time with Birding Bob, but the birds chirping seemed to be amplified and it was sweet music to my ears.  Visually, the walk was great because I discovered some new nooks and new eateries to try out.  However, this exercise really illuminated that the sounds of NYC make up the score of my life.   Rather they are the track that continues to play as more beats and elements get layered on.  And I like the sound of that.  What came up next blew my mind. 

The Church of Scientology.  There I said it.  I don’t know how else I could have introduced this leg of the day.  When I hear the Church of Scientology, cult comes rushing to mind. Yet, someone could very much say that about Catholics/Christians and other religions.  Hence why I posted two pictures of the church.  The first as a reminder not to be afraid of anyone.  I mean it isn’t like I could have disappeared on site...Right?  I am joking.  I told myself to go in as I do with anything else and that is with an open mind.  I was slated to be there for 30 mins.  This is how it went.  I went in and I was greeted by Nick.  I told him that I was interested a tour.  He said okay and instructed me to sign in, take my temp and put on a pair of gloves.  Then he directed to go up the stairs where someone would guide me through the tour.  Once upstairs, I started to read the placards because the woman was finishing off a conversation with someone else.  I read that the founder, L. Ron Hubbard was a humanitarian and wait for it... an ARTIST!  I didn’t see that one coming a mile away.  He said, “A culture is only as great as its dreams, and its dreams are dreams by artists.”  Okay okay.  This was not going how I imagined.  My curiosity was piqued.  The woman walked up and introduced herself as Nicole.  We chatted a bit and she asked what brought me in.  I told her that I was a visitor to the space looking to get more info.  She guided me to a video that broke down the fundamentals of the church.  It went through the 8 dynamics of Scientology, what Dianetics is, what the symbols in the logo mean and so on.  The video talked about the tone scale and showed the auditing process.  I loved the tone scale and I could get down with 8 Dynamics, but the auditing part resembled a lie detector type situation for me.  Nicole asked me thoughts.  I shared them and then she asked me what I knew of Scientology.  I told her Scientology was Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Leah Remini’s exit.  I told her that I have never met Scientology in human form (up until meeting her), and that to me it was building that was shrouded in mystery.  In their creed, it is mentioned that everyone is equal (and you know the spiel).  So I asked what is the church’s stance on Black Lives Matter issues and police brutality because I have yet to see a Scientology table at a rally.  She mentioned a lot of the community work they do and that they are not in favor of violence against anyone, but that they are more focused on doing the actual work rather than being seen.  I understood that point because I talk about performance with my friends and peer often.  She asked me if there was a Dynamic or area of myself that I wanted to improve.  I hit her with words like alignment, discernment, purpose, harm reduction and also added intentional adaptation from Adrienne Maree Brown’s Emergent Strategies.  In a nutshell, I mildly stated that I am good.  I did get a demo of what an auditing session would be like.  If you haven’t guessed it by now, then let me tell you.  30 mins rapidly turned into an hour and thirty-three mins!!  Am I a convert, NO.  Did I walk away from my visit with some newfound knowledge, I sure did.  That experience was another affirmation that you can find gems where you least expect it.  Like Marlys, never lose your curiosity.

Last, and surely not least, it is time for Game Play.  I have no idea, but let’s go.  In this game play, 4 people (including me) acted out characters through this interactive process.  The scenes are going to provide input for an actual game!! My main character was the youth.  I chose the name Hydriel (Hydro + Ariel) for my character.  Hydriel is a 15 yr old budding cartoonist that uses she/they/Hy pronouns and has an imaginary friend named Octavia Butler.  We each also had to play the role of the “visitor,” an alien coming to Earth for a brief vacay.  The visitor’s name was dumb long and so eventually, it boiled down to Sunny P.  P stood for Phallus.  I also played a badass grandma.  She went by the name GramZee and was the burlesque queen.  PERIODT.  Improving with strangers and getting to chat with the game makers (thornygames.com) was a good time.  This was my first time doing anything like that.  I am looking forward to seeing the final outcome.  This is Hydriel/GramZee/Sunny P.  saying good night.

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 10

Happy Sunday.  Pre-Covid, I would be heading to my local church for service.  However, today’s agenda had me participate in a Quaker meeting with the Brooklyn Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends.  The Quaker way of worship is for people, who seek the inner Light, to come together and sit in silence.  Yes.  You read correctly.  For an hour how, that was exactly what we did.  There was no minister to lead us, no formal prayers were said or hymns sung.  I didn’t a cross or anything religious in sight. The only thing visible was the room that the members used to gather in.  There was someone who welcomed everyone and reminded folks of the instructions in how to participate.  We were even instructed not to use the chat.  Good thing that was mentioned before I gave my normal “Good Morning” text.  According to the Quakers, they believe in divine guidance.  So if the Holy Spirit doesn’t call or compel you to speak, then you don’t.  There is an acknowledgement that this comes from the deepest part of one’s soul.  For them, silence and the spoken words bring them/us closer together and to God.  Initially, the silence created space for a tidal wave of noise to come my way.  Soca songs, thoughts about my itinerary, and other things flooded my mind, but after a few minutes, I was able to reduce my thoughts to the present moment.  I think I was able to ward off my thoughts and any other distractions for about 30 mins.  After that, I could feel my body starting to get antsy.  I started to think in awe about how the people choose to come together every week to be in silence together.  I started to think about silence, and stillness, as sacred practices.  Then I recalled when I took a day of silence as preparation to go out into the streets for a rally.  I remembered how being silent gave me some solace, as well as, more energy.  I started to observed how other people were being in silence.  Some had their eyes closed and others had them open. Some folks had their heads resting against their perched hand and others had their hands pressed together in prayer emoji hands.  With about 10 mins left in the hour, the time of silence came to an end without anyone speaking.  They asked if there were any visitors and three of us (including myself) introduced ourselves.  After that, the session, concluded with folks asking to be held in the light for themselves or other people that they mentioned, a round of announcements, and farewells until next time.  This is going to stay with me and it reminded me that I want to incorporate silence more in my daily practice.  Sunday service complete, next  on the agenda was a change of plans.

Initially I was scheduled to head over to the Scandinavian Music Festival in Fort Tryon Park.  However, the rain’s insistence on not leaving, forced the event to be canceled.  The alternative was to visit the Fraunces Tavern Museum.  Once again, I had never heard of this place.  I actually walked right past it in December of 2019 because I was making my way to the Cauldron NYC Magical Pub for a date. (Note: The date went well.  So well, that we are still together.)  It was interesting to go to museum that was hidden in plain sight.  The museum also houses a restaurant and bar.  The tour is self-guided and they were not playing with COVID restrictions.  They limited the number of people that could be in a room at a time.  For the first room, no more than 3.  Immediately, it made me conscious of time and how much of it people would take to see each room. I definitely included myself in that question.  The first room in congested with a plethora of images of George Washington.  I have never seen so many depictions of him and additionally, all in the same space.  Wow.  I had my fill (for life).  I learned that he had actually left the military a few years before he was selected to be President.  Apparently, the tavern was a social and political hotspot.  It was actually one of the most important taverns tied to the American Revolution.  The museum is a bit misleading in that it is much larger than it looks.  There is a lot of history packed in that space and if anyone is interested, I would recommend going.  I mean I will go back as well.  Here are three things that stood out for me: 1) one of GW’s teeth is on display and the placard confirms that his dentures were composed of animal and human teeth (which humans?), 2) I never saw the iteration of the flag with five stars and nine stripes (don’t get me to talk about the muskets framing the flag), and 3) the museum is about preserving its history, but there are no names for the indentured and enslaved people that lived there.  History is a funny thing.  I found myself thinking about the tours that I took in the last few days and my own research and it boiled down to history and how it is told depends on who is doing the telling.  There is so much history, rather WHOLE-story, that needs to be learned and told.  

After the museum, I was supposed to go kayaking, but that was no go.  I had been caught out in the rain more than three times already.  And the temperature is in the low 50s.  Not me, Not I.  I have been committed to this process, but  I was not trying to participate in something that could potentially get me sick.  With that, Day 10 came to a close.

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 9

Day 9.  Time is flying by.  Today was supposed to start off virtually with the Athletics of Intimacy Class through Movement Research.  Clearly my curiosity was piqued based off the name.  Yet for some reason, the class was no longer available and Abbie had to make a quick pivot.  (Note: I went to the site and signed up for the class for June 5th.)  Abbie reached out and booked me for a Saturday Workshop (dance class) with Jermaine Spivey through Gibney.  The class started later and was longer than the original class, so I wouldn’t be able to stay the whole time because I would have to be somewhere else by 3pm.  Nonetheless, I was all in.  

Professional dancing is not my thang.  I have taken classes before and I used to dance tap and ballet in my younger years until my teens.  So dancing in a professional context feels foreign and familiar.  Jermaine was great.  I didn’t know who Jermaine was prior to this class, but I won’t forget him now.  His dancing is beyond words.  In this class, Jermaine was going over Structured Improv.  We would recognize what our bodies do and practice responding to that.  We were asked to learn our body responses, challenge what we know and then expand on that.  In doing so, we would have to listen, hear, touch and sense everything.  Jermaine insisted there were no mistakes and no accidents. Our movements are articulations of our decisions.  Our decisions are made through our choices and there are multiple.  If we take every action and do it as if we are falling, we can use the momentum to shift and respond through interruption.  Pivot.  Suspend.  Isolate.  Stop.  Expand.  Yes to all of it.  Through the dance, Jermaine was dropping life lessons.  There was so much more that was shared and the ask of my body was received.  I felt open and full of gratitude.  Jermaine was right when he said there are no mistakes.  I was supposed to be in that class and I will be following Jermaine for sure. 

Showered and ready to go, I headed to the Museum of Reclaimed Urban Space for a walking tour.  Before I continue, I need to address the EXTREME drop in temperature.  On Wednesday, I was sweltering and today, temps reached a high in the 50s and it is wet.  I just had to note that because I packed clothes for Spring/Summer not Fall/Winter.  So imagine me in a tshirt and a light pleather jacket and jeans...Freezing.  Anywho, I arrive to the space to find out that I am the only one there for the tour.  I am not too surprised since the rain started to fall (AGAIN) mere moments after I arrived.  Bill said he was willing to do the tour for one person.  While I waited, I glanced into the spy exhibition and was quickly reminded that the government sucks.  Seeing COINTELPRO and the word informant made me ill.  Good thing the exhibition is in the bathroom.  I held it together because it was time for the tour.

The history of reclaiming urban space, squatting and how they are connected to community gardens is dense.  Really too much to type here.  I can share some highlights.  The museum is actually in one of the old squatter buildings and the 9th street garden is a Rock Star in the movement.  Not only is it beautiful, the brick pathways are made with brick from the old buildings that were demolished by city agencies.  Bill showed me the logo of the squatters that has literally been cemented in the concrete sidewalk in front of the building.  I learned the Black Panthers and the Young Lords occupied the Christodora House, which used to be an old settlement house for immigrants.  By the time we got to Tompkins park, my synapses were firing up.  Little did I know that Bill was about to set them ablaze.  There were so many uprisings and occupations that happened there.  The park had been seized and closed and reopened too many times to count.  But it was also a place for community gathering, celebrations of different cultures and activism.  I learned that Tompkins park was also tied to the 1863 Draft Riots.  Bill was surprised by what I knew and I was happy to share that I acquired a lot of infomation from Kamau’s Fighting the Dark walking tour that I took earlier in the week.  He was so impressed that he wants to take Kamau’s tour.  He then told me how Robert Moses (person responsible for destroying The Bronx with the Cross Bronx Expressway) was involved with the reconstruction of the park.  Bill explained that when the park was redesigned, Moses had policing in mind.  The pathway was restructured to make it possible for police cars to enter and patrol the park.  No surprise that literally, while Bill is telling me this, we can see a cop car hidden directly behind us.  We chatted a bit longer in the cold rain and then headed back to the museum.  The history of New York is complicated and exhausting.  White terrorism and capitalism are found everywhere like a cancer that won’t die.  However, I would recommend taking tours like this one because there are also stories of resistance and resilience.  And that is a victory within itself. 

Bonus:  There were some folks downstairs archiving papers and they found one about squatters in The Bronx. 

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé , Day 8

We made it to day 8.  The day started off early with some bird watching.  I have never, but I was ready to try.  Up in Central Park, I met up with the group as they were heading up a hill.  I was the youngest in age, but I could tell I was in good company.  I say that because everyone was welcoming and excited to hear that it was my first time.  I don’t know if you know this, but birds could care less about you seeing them or taking their photos.  I say this because I would spot a bird and by the time I would try to see them through the binoculars, they were gone.  Knowing how to use binoculars and actually using them are two different things.  I’m serious.  Eventually, I got the hang of it.  The one thing that they don’t tell you before you go birdwatching is to do some neck exercises.  There definitely needs to be some pre-birdwatch neck rolls and head tilts before we start.  Try keeping your gaze to the ceiling for a good 5 minutes and let me know how that goes.  Now consider doing that over the course of an hour.  Neck rolls in tow, I started to get the hang of things and saw some beautiful birds.  Apparently,  Birding Bob (our funny bird guide) has a personal quota of birds he wants folks to see to deem the tour worthwhile.  Now I can’t remember them all and my spelling of their names are probably wayyyyyy off, but I got to see a total of 15 birds.  I would say that Bob did his part.  According to the group, that was a great start.  Out of all of them, one sticks out for a special reason.  It’s the Black-crowned Night Heron.

Midway way during session, I found myself in conversation with Marlys.  As our chat progressed, we found ourselves a good distance from the group.  She was talking to me about her life and how she got into birdwatching.  She told me that she was originally from the Mid-West.  She started birdwatching early last year.  Her husband, Bill, of 50 plus years passed away January of 2020.  She started to come to the park and to get reacclimated with NYC.  Her husband was a photographer.  They lived in NYC and Paris, as well as, traveled to many parts of the world.  What I admire about Marlys is at the age of 81 (the same year I was born) and after the loss of the love of her life, she is still curious.  Her desire to discover hasn’t dwindled at all.  She still plays tennis.  I have to do better.  Her petite frame and soft voice are no match for her subtle and vibrant presence.  As we were walking under an underpass in the North Woods, she started to tell me about a Black-crowned Night Heron she had seen two years ago.  To her surprise and now mine, the bird was there in the same tree she had seen it in two years prior.  Wow.  That moment was just for us.  Marlys was in deep shock and gratitude.  I can still hear her saying, “Ohhh Tasha.”  I could see a sweet tear coat her eye as it glistened in the sunlight.  She shared with me that if her daughter Sabrina was there, she would say that was Bill.  She quickly stated that I was her good luck charm.  To share that moment with Marlys, Bill and the Black-crowned Night Heron is something I will never forget.  We joined the group and they were still going on strong.  I had to head off to Albertine Books.  Before I left, I connected with Sharon, another bird-watching buddy.

I never heard of Albertine Books.  It is a quaint spot that has some fascinating books.  I took some pics of the decor, found a book from a Haitian author, but the highlight was finding the Art Press magazine with Malcolm X on the cover.  My time at Albertine was brief.  It is a small spot, but I can see myself coming back.  Speaking of back, it was time for me head back.  Not home, but back to where this all started...apexart headquarters.

On the bus ride down to meet Abbie, it was cool to recognize spaces where I been and with all this new context.  I passed by the lot where the Orphanage for Colored Children used to be and Bryant Park.  I got to reflect on how I never knew about the Downtown Connection bus and yet when I was making my way to the Empire State Building, it appeared like a mirage and whisked me off the the subway.  What a serendipitous reminder that once you know, it is hard to unknow.  It is also clear to me that this process has infiltrated my life permanently.

This was a my first time going to the actual office.  I met Abbie there to have a quick bite and get my itinerary for the next week.  She took me to a “secret” French cafe and we had a good time chatting about my experience thus far. I told her how I have been enjoying myself and all the thoughts that have been swirling in my head.  I did report that the subway stairs were kicking my ass.  I just wanted to remind her that we have been sheltering-in-place for over a year and so this new body of mine is rusty and NYC is NOT accessible, even for able-bodied folks.  I mean one trip can equal six flights of stairs one way and my knee ain’t able to compute that easily.  That just means for this body, slow and steady wins the race.  Call me Tortoise T.

With my itinerary in my hand, Week 2 has officially begun.  I was scheduled to meet Zatara, a former fellow, for the Legendary Cyphers in Union Square.  Unfortunately, that was cancelled due to the rain.  I hope I get to meet Zatara later on in the week.  I thought that I would be done for the night.  NOPE.  Abbie found something for me to do.  She sent me a ticket for Cliff Walkers (movie) at the IFC.  Not what I expected, but I learned from it and overall enjoyed it.  Birds, books, bakery and a recovered-bust, this was my day 8.

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 7

Good Morning.  I was legit trying to finish these posts since this the weekend.  However, technology made that quite difficult.  I clearly have been taking a bunch of pictures and completely filled my phone up.  If this has happened to you before, the “no space” window that comes up is more than a nuisance.  I was not able to create these images or anything else without freeing up space.  That is what I’ve been doing for the past couple of days.  But that is in the past and we are here now.  Here is what happened on day 7.

I was supposed to leave the apartment by 11am, but it was more like 11:30ish.  (The schedule did say a late morning.)  The directions said to take the R to City Hall and then catch the free Downtown Connection shuttle that stops at Murray and Broadway.  I searched and roamed the area looking for a bus stop and found nothing.  I walked up to the booth behind the gate at City Hall.  One of the cops approached me and asked if I needed help.  I asked if he knew where to catch the free Downtown Connection bus.  Surprised, but not really, he had no clue what I was talking about.  Then he proceeded to tell me that he had worked there for 10 years and that he never saw the bus or heard of it.  Did he just put me is the tourist box?!?  Oh heck NO!!  I had to let him know that I AM a native New Yorker.  I told him that I was given instructions and that the bus existed (even though, I was starting to feel like I was on a wild goose chase).  He was absolutely useless to me at this point.  I texted Abbie (the fellowship Program Director) saying that there was no Downtown Connection bus.  No response...and none needed.  The good Lord and Ancestors must have felt my rising frustration because it that moment of arrrrggggghhhh, the bus/van showed up in all of its Firetruck Red Realness with the words Downtown Connection written in white across the side.  Thank You and Thank Goodness!!  Unfortunately because I had to make a quick dash across the street to catch it and I didn’t have the opportunity to show the cop the bus really exists.  10 years at the same post and he missed this big red vehicle.  My thoughts on that would be a whole other post.  So I am going to leave that right there and move forward because the day got back on track.

During the ride to my next destination, I was asking myself why didn’t I know about this bus?  You can be a native and still not know a hell of a lot and that has been confirmed through this whole journey.  The stops are not clear or marked, so if you don’t know or have the map, you will miss it.  I got off my stop and walked to the Irish Hunger Memorial.  As I approached it, it just looks like an area of grasslands.  I felt like Stonehenge was nearby.  However, when you walk around, it reveals itself to be so much more.  Words, stories, and history line the walls and there was a voice sharing them overhead.  I had no idea about the Great Irish Hunger, in which about one million starved to death between 1845 - 1852 due to policies imposed by the British.  No words.  The memorial also speaks to hunger and famine on a global scale.  I wanted to learn more, but the app is unavailable for android users.  RUDE.  After a walk throughout the whole space, my Samsung and I grabbed something to eat and went to the park to reflect.  

I was given some prompts.  How has it been away from my apt/studio, have I thought about my art, what has my mindset been around the activities, what has surprised me and such?  Being away from home and the studio has been fine.  But baby, there have definitely been times where it was difficult to turn off the things that were inspiring me to make art.  I have quite a few things waiting for me in the parking lot.  Staten Island was a surprise for me and has piqued my curiosity for sure.  Thus far, this journey hasn’t taught me anything new about NYC.  Rather, it has affirmed that there is so much that NYC has to offer and that there is always something more to learn.  I love this place.  Now off to the Empire State Building.

I think the last time I was here, I was in elementary school.  Yall, do the math cuz I’m 40 now.  Lol.  This time was different.  Not only am I much older and can appreciate it more, I was gifted with an executive pass for the day.  That meant I got to skip lines and walk down red carpets.  To be clear, there weren’t that many people there.  There was one group that tried to follow me onto the red carpet and I had to let them know it was for executive pass holders only.  It felt like a VIP moment, but there wasn’t a lot of glitz and glam.  When I reached the exhibitions, I noticed that the express lane was a bit watered down.  Nothing but pictures on the wall.  However, the other side was rich and robust with sketches, history, 3D models and interactive components.  I asked the attendant to make sure my assessment was correct and they confirmed my suspicions.  So with that, I ditched the express lane and fully submerged myself in all of ESB’s glory.  There was so much to take in, but the piece on teamwork really stood out.  The placard read, “TEAMWORK: The high-altitude rivet teams performed dangerous work and fully relied upon one another to get the job done.  If a member were absent, the team would not work.”  Wow and more WOW!  Think about that for a sec.  Imagine what work culture would be like now if this was still held up to be true.  Indispensable where?  The level of value one would feel is beyond what our current society knows.  It makes sense as to why and how the Empire State Building was built in record time. Trust and value were core the vision.  And to know I would have missed this if I stayed on the express lane.  It makes me think about the quote, “If you want to go fast, go alone; but if you want to go far, go together.”  Together, lets continue with upward and forward.  That was floor 80.  Next stops are floors 86 & 102.   

The view is spectacular from the 86 floor.  Aside from the view outside, the view inside is just as spectacular.  That is thanks to the artistry of renowned artist Stephen Wiltshire.  In 2017, he took at 45 minute helicopter ride around the city and in five days drew the landscape, including the ESB, from memory.  And he did that in front of a live audience in the Observatory.  The walls are now lined with the replica of his work.  Come through with the Black Excellence!  The only thing that could top that is the top of the Empire State Building.  I have never been and this is where the Executive pass came through.  Others would have to upgrade their tickets.  So this was a perk.  In a flash, I went from 86 to 102 and it makes a world of difference.  Listen folks.  For my 30th birthday, I jumped out a plane.  15,000 feet above ground and I wasn’t nervous at all.  However, that wasn’t the case here.  There is something about heights and stillness that always reminds you that you are in a ménage-à-trois with gravity.  I eased my way to the edge and stared out in awe and wonder and gratitude.  In awe of what has been made and the people who made it, in wonder of the person(s) with the vision to dream of such a marvel, and gratitude to be in a position to take it all in and question. 

Shoutout to attendants Alfredo, Sophia and Jere.  It was a pleasure talking to them and sharing laughs.  They are there to guide us, but they have stories too.  And now they are a part of mine. I told Sophia if I decide to go bungee-jumping, that I would come back and tell her all about it.  Visiting the Empire State Building reminded me that as a native NYer, I should carve out time to relish in all the marvels she has to offer.  I got you NYC.  Note:  The opening of the ESB happened on May 30th and Patti LaBelle was born May 24.  That means I am in good Gemini company. 

Last but not least, Trivia and Karaoke!  If you know me, then you know.  I love trivia and I legit have my own Karaoke mic.  This was a fundraiser for CAAAV Organizing Asian Communities.  Teams had already been established, but I learned a lot from the trivia and the Karaoke contest was hilarious.  I appreciated the trivia that spoke the connection to other communities, including Black communities.  There was a wealth of resources shared in the chat and I was able to tie what I learned from the Museum of Chinese in America (MOCA) to the conversation.  It felt great to apply what I have learned in real time.  It only affirms for me how much of this process I have taken in.  

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 6  aka My BDAY!! Today I turn 40!!

May 26, 2021.  It was the last Super Moon of the year, a Blood Moon, the Flower Moon and a lunar eclipse.  This all happened before 8am EDT.  What a way to start off my 40th birthday.  40 years on the this earth and I have much to be grateful for and I appreciate all my blessings, including this fellowship.  Thank you God, Ancestors, Lwas and the Universe. 

Now for those who have been following or are just joining me on this journey, I want to acknowledge the lapse in posts.  Today is actually day 9 of my fellowship.  For all the bloggers and vloggers out there, I tip my hat to you all in sheer awe.  This is not easy to do consistently.  I knew that, but now I really KNOW.  I mean I am out here in these NYC streets and by the time I get back to the apt, the only thing I want to blog are the number of Zzz’s and snores coming out of me in the bed.  Nonetheless, I committed to sharing my journey and I want to.  So here we go.

It was a late start on the 26th and that was great because the BDay love was pouring in.  Since I can’t celebrate in person, I created a BDAY BINGO game and my friends were game.  The day/afternoon started with a good ole game of mini golf. I haven’t played since 2000.  So I’m coming into this with tons of rust.  PERIODT.  I was told that I would have some company.  Dhairya came to play with his cool shades in tow.  He is a student at NYU studying computer engineering.  My solution to any computer issue is Ctrl + Alt + Delete.  If that doesn’t work, then I can’t help ya.  That is the extent of my expertise.  Now, I will direct all questions to Dhairya.  Dhairya came to the states from India three months ago and it was a pleasure listening and learning about him.  Now, he said he never played mini golf.  However, that is not what the score card said. No need to focus on the numbers.  What’s important is that he didn’t let me win because it was my birthday and that we really enjoyed our time playing.  And if you have to know, yes he did win.  As per my photos (taken by Dhairya), you can see that I had a hard conversation with my ball trying to sort out the lack of communication and teamwork.  After his win, I introduce Dhairya to one of my favorite spots, NISH NUSH.  It is a Mediterranean vegetarian spot that I last visited in Summer of 2019.  It was perfect because he is vegetarian.  He loved the food.  My bday was off to a great spot.  Next off to Sunset Park, Brooklyn.

If you haven’t been to Sunset Park, you need to go immediately.  What a beautiful park.  The view was gorgeous.  I laid out and enjoyed my icee.  One of the pigeons wanted to give me a gift.  It showered me with some excrements.  Apparently, that is supposed to be a sign of good luck.  I will let you know later how true that is.  Until then, I proceeded to use some hand sanitizer to remove the “gift.”  My agenda for the day suggested some snacks.  I decided to try the red bean puff pastry from Jade Bakery (corner of 63rd & 8th) and the rice cake skewers from 369 BBQ (corner of 61st & 8th).  When I got to Jade’s and asked for the red bean pastry, they were exactly sure about what I was asking for.  However, they were super sweet and friendly.  They showed me something red and had beans, so I took it.  Next to 369 BBQ.  I almost missed it because I was looking for a brick and mortar.  Good thing my peripheral vision is still working.  I ordered one skewer to go.  I walked to the train to head over to Greenwood Cemetery for the last event for the day.

While waiting for the train, I cracked open the foil and started eating the rice cake skewer.  Wait for it... Hell the Freak Yes!!!  It was the bomb!  Ever order something and get mad that you only got one?  Well that was what I was feeling.  It was doughy goodness with a kick of spice.  I am SOLD and I will be back for sure.  

I made it to the cemetery with like 2 mins to spare.  There was a line and we waited for them to let us in.  I was the only Black person on the line, but I was going in to see what this was about.  To be honest, I was trying to see if this event could be rescheduled.  I mean a cemetery on my bday?!  I googled it and they only do the event once a month.  So as someone who is all about experiences and willingly accepted the nomination to be a part of this fellowship, I told myself to go for it.  They let us in and off we went.  You find out fairly quickly that the tour is self-guided.  As I enter the cemetery and take it all in, I am filled with questions.  Who came up with this idea?  Was the person buried in the pyramid mausoleum African/Black?  Why do people chose to occupy so much space even in death?  As I witnessed the entertainment, I wondered who is the entertainment for?  Were the deceased considered in those decisions?  As part of the event, folks had the option to enter into certain mausoleums.  For me, that led to more questions.  How were the mausoleums selected?  Did they ask the deceased permission?  At one point, I asked if there were people actually in them and I was told yes.  It is my bday and I don’t know the energy of the people deceased.  Thanks, but I will pass on that one.  

Oh yea. How could I almost forget?  Literally about 5 minutes after I entered the cemetery with the group, the grey clouds with all their rolling thunder came right on through.  Strong winds followed by stronger gusts of winds had the trees howling and the branches swaying frantically.  Shortly after, the rain came.  Pellets of water were hurled onto our bodies and my body for sure since I didn’t have an umbrella.  For me, that was the good Lord and ancestors saying you came, you saw and now you gotta go.  With that message, I got another message.  This time it was for the event folks saying that the event was canceled due to the rain.  My sister called with some happy birthday vibes and asked where I was.  I told her I was in a cemetery and she was like “on your birthday?”  I told her yea.  I was not surprised by her shock, but I flipped it for her real good.  Yes, it was my 40th birthday, but what would be a better reminder to live then to be among those who have passed. 

I choose to live with every breath I have until my very last.  This was a bomb birthday!!

Sidebar:  I will return to Greenwood because Basquiat is buried there and there is also an African burial ground called the Freedom Lots.

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 5

Well what can I say?  There are clearly less photos today.  Well that is because I was working my A _ _ off!!  Mercedes (volunteer) was helpful and spunky.  And also, you can’t be taking photos will working at a pantry.  I loved this pantry because people were allowed to open the boxes and leave/discard what they didn’t want.  I watched folks swap produce and proteins.  Folks were taking extra from what was left over.  Apparently, people had their fair share of the yellow squash because it was getting left behind like a batch of bad potato salad.  I meet a nice older woman with some spunk.  She was petite in stature with white, silvery hair.  She told me that she never dyed her hair.  She told me that she liked my hair and that her son’s girlfriend has bright hair like me.  She told me that I remind her of the girlfriend.  She said she sees people not with her eyes, but with her heart.  So sweet.  She came back a second time because she wanted to make sure that she got stuff for her friend/neighbor.  Again, she was sweet.  After we handed out food, we went inside to do some bagging.

We includes Ashley and obviously me.  Ashley and I hit it off from the very start.  We talked about life, jobs, stress, freedom, choices, tattoos, astrological signs, ancestors, and My Birthday!  She was shocked.  She thought I was younger than her and she is in her early 30s.  That is what I am talking about!  Card me.  Hahahahaha.   We were directed to the bagging room.  That is where we put  different pantry items in the white NYC shopping bags.  We went at it.  I mean we were going.  There was another person with us.  Their name is Christine.  We must have bagged for more than an hour straight.  As the elder bagger for the moment, I called for a wellness break.  Christine left shortly after.  Ashley and I did one more task before we decided to head out for the day.

Exhausted, we knew we need to replenish ourselves.  That sounded like a bite to eat and some dranks.  I was not opposed at all.  We briefly went into the thrift shop across the street from the bar.  I couldn’t stay too long because I still had a full day.  The break for dranks was a good and much needed reprieve.  I was able to make it through 50% of the Women’s walking tour.  It was already stated that it may be shortened to ensure that I make my therapy appointment.  I made my appointment with about 10 mins to spare.

Nancy and I had a great conversation.  Having access to a therapist is really such a highlight to the program.  We talked about accessibility and ability.  I mean, I have been sheltering-in-place for the most part of the last 15 months.  So to jump right back into taking the subway stairs (2-3 flights a train stop) maybe 3-5 times a day, is a beyond what my body is accustomed to.  (My hips, quads, calves, back and feet are currently drafting a legal complaint against me unless I get it together.)  We talked about much more, including how to divorce myself from my art when my art is tied to humanity.  I’m definitely not doing art for arts sake.  I shared that I got the chance to hear Frankétienne, a famous Haitian writer, poet, artist, musician and much more, speak at Brooklyn College.  He was talking about his name.  He said he legally merged his first name with his last because there is no distinction between him as a person and as an artist.  I told Nancy I would never forget that because it still deeply resonates with me today.  We also talked about my upcoming 40th birthday.  She asked what I was doing and I told her Bday Bingo.  (I will tell you more about that later.)  Before we knew it, our time had come to an end.  I only get one more session with Nancy next week and you know that I am going to make it count. 

My agenda for the day ended with an improv class.  I learned about space work and that statements help to propel a scene forward.  We did quite a few scenes.  We ended the night by sharing something we witnessed that we liked and one thing we liked that we did.  I got good feedback around my gift of specificity and sticking with the emotion.  Everyone brought something to the table and I was happy that I inserted my natural reactions and mannerisms into the skits.  Thanks All Folks (in my Elmer Fudd voice)! 

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 4

7:30am.  Normally that is the time that I wake up.  Today was a bit different.  Today at 7:30am, you could’ve found me at the Fountain Terrace in Bryant Park.  Why, you ask?  I was supposed to be taking a Tai Chi class, but that was not the case at all.  Tai Chi was a Tai BUST!  Not a class in sight.  Scott, who works for the park, told me that sometimes they workout on the other side of the park.  After two laps around Bryant Park, I finally conceded.  Since I was already in Bryant Park, I decided to move to the next item on my itinerary.

FIGHTING THE DARK audio tour was created by my homeboy Kamau Ware, founder and visionary of the Black Gotham Experience.  We actually go back a few years.  I debuted my word, blackrooting, in his space.  Gosh, I have so many fond memories there.  Let me not digress.  I was mad hype to see one of his tours on my list of things-to-do for the day.  The tour was dope, just as I expected.  Rich with Black stories and highly informative, Kamau’s voice guided me through the city, opening up doors to ancestors and histories I didn’t know.  Many of the spaces were familiar and foreign at the same damn time.  All while some others were hidden in plain sight.  In my photo, I highlighted the Colored Orphan Asylum (no longer there due to Race Riots of 1863), statue of Horace Greeley, David Dinkins Manhattan Municipal Building, African Burial Ground, Triumph of the Human Spirit (statue), Grand Army Plaza and Weeksville Heritage Center.  I learned so much, but the Triumph of the Human Spirit stood out the most for me because I have been in Foley Square many times.  Mainly as a meetup site before I did Improv Everywhere’s No Pants Subway ride and other times, I was at a protest.  In either circumstance, I had no clue what the statue was, let alone what it meant.  I would tell, but I want you to experience this tour and statue for yourself.  This space is forever changed due to the persistence and efforts of people like Kamau.  The Ancestors are proud and I am super grateful. 

Next was Chinatown.  I learned that there are three Chinatowns in NYC.  They are in Flushing (Queens), Sunset Park (Brooklyn) and the Chinatown that we all think about in Manhattan.  I had some fried and boiled dumplings from Tasty Dumplings.  Then I went across the street to Columbus park.  I watched an intense game of ping-pong between two men and two women.  The women were kissing A_ _ and I loved watching it.  Next to me, two gentlemen were playing what looked like a checkers/chess combo.  Two other men soon came over to watch.  To be honest, as some points, it felt weird to be in the park.  It was as if I crashed what I would call the “family BBQ.”  The crowd in the park was like 90% homogeneous and clearly I was sticking out.  Truly, no one really paid me any mind.  However when I started talking pictures, I felt like a creeper who got caught creeping.  So I didn’t stay much longer and headed over to the Museum of Chinese in America (MOCA).  I got more context about the Chinese community and its history.  Surprisingly, I saw a familiar face in the window exhibition.  It belonged to Ran Yan, Executive Director of the Lewis Latimer House Museum.  We know each other because I was part of an exhibition there.  What a small world.

Last stop on the agenda was going to the Film Forum.  I saw There Is No Evil and... WOW!!  This was my first time back inside a movie theater since lockdown.  They were not playing.  No more than 1-2 people in a single row and we were spread out with assigned seats.  One word for the film comprised of four shorts... POWERFUL!!  What are choices when you are forced to make them?  Just one of the questions that went through my mind during and after the film.  I had many more and I would love to talk to anyone else that has seen it.  Going to the Film Forum reminded me of times I went to the Angelika and that I do enjoy watching independent films.  Day 4 complete.  Up next...