#logan storm

[ezra-phoenix]

Happy Pride Month!

From Logan, Elliott, Calix, Skylar and Paxten!

[ezra-phoenix]

Logan’s postpartum depression has been in full swing ever since he gave birth to the triplets; which that in itself was quite traumatic and he had to be on bed rest for a few weeks just to heal, he’d given birth to two of them naturally but had to have an emergency c-section for the last one, Paxten, because he’d gotten stuck and ended up with some bruising on his poor little face. Logan of course felt like it was his fault, somehow. And though he tries... he’s just... he can’t do it. So he usually gives up and lets them scream while Elliott’s at work.

[ezra-phoenix]

Of course... while Elliott was out grabbing stuff for dinner Logan’s pain started getting worse, and his entire abdomen started tightening up. Being the uninformed little bean that he was he didn’t realize that these were likely contractions until he looked it up and texted Elliott immediately that he was having them, then went and got the exercise ball out to lay on

[ezra-phoenix]

“I know.... I know they are, just.... “ he groaned softly, clenching his fists because he knew that Levi and Elliott were both right; he couldn’t be this way forever.

“Logan.... look, I love you baby brother, but I can only do so much.... you need help. You know that right?” he asked as he watched Logan hunch over, which was when he leaned back and scratched his head with a quiet sigh “Elliott and I can only do so much Logan.... We love you, and we want you to get help so that this doesn’t continue or escalate, so that you can see your babies grow up without resenting them or hating them or yourself because of whatever this is, okay?” he explained

“I know.....” was the only thing Logan could seem to get out, they were right. They were so right. The babies were already over a month old and he couldn’t even differentiate them from each other, their features... he didn’t even know Paxten had red hair.

“Please.... I know a therapist; Maddox’s.... he’d be more than willing to see  you and talk to you. Will you please let me schedule you an appointment? I can’t stand seeing you like this Logan and I know it’s nothing compared to what you’re feeling I just.... I don’t want to lose my little brother”

After a very long silence from Logan as he got lost in thought he nodded very stiffly and sat up a little bit “Y...yeah....” he agreed “Just.... go with me? the  first time at least? Please?”

[ezra-phoenix]

Elliott found him pretty quickly, he was right where he knew he’d be, asleep in bed. “Logan!” he snapped, very annoyed with him right now.

The blonde just grumbled and nuzzled the pillow “Whaaat?” he mumbled

“Do you mind explaining to me why the babies were upstairs screaming and you’re just fucking sleeping?” He said harshly, really not in the mood for games right now.

“What? Oh... they must’ve... just woke up” he said tiredly, sounding exhausted despite not actually doing anything.

“I want to believe you, but I somehow doubt it considering Paxten’s diaper was so full it leaked through his clothes. Logan I don’t know what’s going on with you but you can’t fucking do that” he snapped before turning away to get changed

[ezra-phoenix]

Logan  groaned and sat up, then scooted to the edge of the bed while Elliott got changed “I’m sorry, okay? I just... I’m so tired” he said as he rubbed his face and then pulled his knee to his chest, resting his foot against the edge of the bed.

Elliott just grumbled quietly as he changed, glancing over his shoulder at him “How am I supposed to go to work and actually get anything done if I’m just going to be worried about the babies the whole time? Worried you’re letting them starve?” he questioned a bit coldly

“I-.....” Logan had no excuse, he really didn’t. He’d heard them crying and just chose not to get up because he couldn’t be bothered. He also knew he really should talk to someone about it but what were they gonna do? Prescribe him drugs that may or may not actually work? He sighed softly and looked at the floor in defeat

[ezra-phoenix]

In the past couple months I’ve really popped, suppose  being pregnant with triplets does that to you, yeah? Anyway I’ve really been craving fruit salad. Probably the sugar in it, but I’ve been having it almost every morning. Which means I’m sending Elliott to the market every couple days because of how quickly I’m going through our fruit... he doesn’t really mind, though. I think he’s just happy I’m not sulking around being upset about it anymore.... I mean, I am. I don’t want this. But I don’t... really have a choice. I’ve been doubting myself recently, wondering if keeping them really was the right decision or not but I can’t go back now, somedays I’m really happy that we decided to keep them and others, I think when the back pain and discomfort is really getting to me I just wish I had gone through with the abortion... hopefully these feelings change once they’re here, I can’t stand the thought of feeling that after they’re born.

Anyway. It’s the day of our baby shower so I have to put on a happy face for everyone! Teagan and Hunter are gonna come a bit early and help set up, while Levi and Alex and fam are gonna be here a little bit later. We might swim, we might not. Either way I think it’ll be fun!

Logan’s Diary Entry