Summary:
Loki and you are in a relationship. Steve tries to break you guys up, but you don’t see that. Leading to a lot of pain for all parties involved.
Warnings:
Smut in chapter 1, angst
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Click here for chapter 2
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Click here for chapter 4
Click here for chapter 5
Click here for chapter 6
Click here for chapter 7
Click here for chapter 8
Click here for chapter 9
Click here for chapter 10
Click here for chapter 1
Click here for chapter 2
Click here for chapter 3
Click here for chapter 4
Click here for chapter 5
Click here for chapter 6
Click here for chapter 7
The hit
You entered the training room. The three of them were sparring, Thor and Tony against Loki. Probably because Loki would be more distracted and had a way to get out his anger. You knew that Loki's way to get out angers was to fight or self-sabotage. You didn't want to interrupt, and choose to sit down on the bench. They were really going at it, but Loki kept his own. Watching him fight brought you back to all your own sparring matches. Which often ended in a whole different kind of sparring.
Loki fought well, but you could see that he hadn't his usual stamina. Apparently, the last months had taken a toll on him as well. How could it not? He was right all along. Steve was trying to break you guys up, and you didn't believe Loki when he warned you. More than once. And then he had to watch Steve kiss you. Your mind was racing, while you watched the graceful moves of Loki. Suddenly, your eyes met.
‘(Y/N)..’ he said.
While being distracted, he didn't saw Thor's punch coming anymore. Thor hit him on the side of his head, Loki went down.
‘Holy shit’ Tony said.
‘Oops..’ was all Thor said.
Loki groaned, while slowly sitting upright on the ground. ‘Oaf’ he grumbled.
‘Are you okay?’ Thor asked, while extending his hand to help Loki on his feet.
‘I'm fine’ Loki mumbled, accepting Thor's help. That's when the three men turned around and looked at you. You had jumped from the bench. Your instinct was to run towards Loki, when you saw him fall. But you didn't know if he would appreciate it at this moment.
‘Thor, I forgot but I need your help in the lab’ Tony said.
‘I never help you out in the lab?’ Thor asked confused.
Loki rolled his eyes, it was clear that Tony tried to give the two of you your space. After an awkward silence, Thor finally got the hint.
‘Oh, right! For our secret project’ Thor winked at Tony.
The disappointment was showing on Tony's face. ‘Yeah, let's go’ Tony said, dragging Thor out of the training room.
‘I'm sorry, Thor..’ Loki started.
You had to laugh a little. ‘I know’ you said.
The two of you said nothing, just standing at an awkwardly large distance from each other. Not daring to meet the other one's gaze. After a moment, Loki cleared his throat and walked towards the bench. There was a bidon standing on the bench. Loki grabbed it and sat down, drinking some water. You sat down next to him, because it felt weirder to be the only one standing.
‘How is your head?’ you asked after some time. Before you registered it, you instinctively extended your hand to touch the place where Thor had hit him.
Loki hissed and pulled away from you touch. You quickly pulled your hand back, feeling bad to hurt him more. Normally, when he had hurt himself, you would caress him and kiss it away. But you couldn't do that right now. And the fact that Loki hissed made you want to do it even more. Because you knew it hurt bad, and you knew that he was playing it down.
‘Fine, just a little headache’ he said.
‘We both know that's not true’ you answered.
‘What do you know about what's true?’ he snapped.
That comment hurt. You could see in his eyes that he regretted the words the moment they left his lips. But they still hurt.
‘How are you feeling?’ Loki asked.
‘Even after throwing up my whole stomach, still like crap’ you answered.
Loki waved his hand, and a green glow engulfed him. That's when he started to chance a little. His hair fell out of shape, he looked a little thinner and there were bags appearing underneath his eyes. You already saw that there was a bruise forming where Thor had hit him. ‘That makes two of us’ he sighed.
‘Thanks for showing me’ you whispered. It did make you feel a little better that you were not completely alone in your misery.
‘I spoke to Steve’ you told him. You saw the way his jaw clenched, and how his knuckles went white. ‘You were right, he did break us up. He regretted cutting things off and didn't believe you were the right guy for me’ you admitted.
‘I'm glad you finally believe me’ Loki answered.
You were waiting for him to say more, but there were no more words.
'You may have been right, but you left me. I told you I would never choose Steve over you, and you left me without saying a word. You may not have trusted Steve, but you didn't trust me either! And when I do finally see me, you say ‘I told you so’’ you rambled.
Loki let his head hang down. He rubbed the place where Thor had hit him. He was thinking about his words. You were wondering what he would say. ‘I know’ he finally said.
That was not what you expected.
‘Oh’ was all you said.
The two of you were silent for a moment. You could see the bruise one Loki's head starting to grow in size. And you were getting worried.
‘Do you need someone to look at you?’ you asked.
‘No, I think it will pass soon’ he said.
‘All right’ you didn't believe him, but questioning his honesty wasn't the right move at the moment.
‘I guess we could have worked on some things in our relationship’ he finally said.
‘We probably should have’ you agreed.
‘Darling, you have to know that if there is one person I trust, it's you’ he said. ‘I was just scared to lose you and showed that in the worst way possible’
‘Steve was my best and oldest friend. I didn't want to believe you, because I didn't want to lose that friendship. But I didn't see that it would lead to losing you’ you said.
‘Was your best friend?’ Loki said hopeful.
‘Don't be an ass about it’ you said.
‘I never wanted you to lose a friendship like that, but you can't blame me for being happy you finally see what he really is like’ Loki answered.
‘I know’ you answered.
Loki's happiness was short-lived. He grabbed his head and hissed in pain again. ‘I actually don't feel good, love’ he said.
Your heart made a little jump when you heard him call you that. But it was overpowered by the stomach ache, worrying about him. You got up and extended your hands to help him up as well.
‘Let's go find Thor’ you said.
Loki put one hand over your shoulder and leaned into you, while you walked him out of the training room. He put a lot of his weight on you, and he had a little trouble walking straight.
‘THOR!’ you yelled.
Thor came rushing towards the two of you. You didn't like the shock look on his face when he saw Loki. ‘Get him into a bed, I will go to Asgard and fetch a healer’ Thor said.
He ran away, but luckily Tony had heard everything and helped you get Loki to a bed. ‘I'm fine’ Loki mumbled, trying to struggle against the two of you.
When he finally laid down on the bed, he dragged you with him. ‘Don't leave’ he said. You tried to get out of his grip but he held you too tight.
‘Stay, I'll wait for Thor’ Tony said.
You turned around, so your face was towards his. ‘Promise, you'll stay with me?’ he asked.
‘I promise’ you answered. Loki had his eyes closed, but you kept looking at the side of his face. The bruise was getting darker and increasing faster than it should be. You felt his grip loosen a bit, as he lost consciousness.
After a few minutes the door opened. You heard Thor and an unknown woman arguing. ‘It's always the same story with the two of you’ she said.
‘I didn't mean to hit him that hard’ Thor whined.
‘Oh, lady (Y/N)’ Thor said. You were still on the bed, eyeing the woman up and down. ‘This is our mother’ he added.
The woman smirked at you. ‘I think it is about time that we met, don't you’ she said.
Click here for chapter 1
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Click here for chapter 6
Time to talk
A hot shower did you well. When you looked around your own room, you saw it for the mess it was. The mess you were. You had to resist the urge to clean it right away, because you had to talk to Loki and Steve. If he was back by now. Before you left your room, you took a deep breath. You had thought about everything that happened, and even though you were in the wrong, you weren't the only one. Turning the door know you slowly opened your door and walked towards the living room.
Right before you could enter, you heard Steve. ‘(Y/N)!’ he yelled from down the hall.
You could hear the muffled sounds from the other side of the door. Thor and Tony were telling Loki to calm down. He probably wanted to hurt Steve, and you couldn't really blame him this time. When you saw Steve smiling and walking towards you, you realized that he had no idea. He had no idea that Loki was here and that you knew about the fake video.
After Steve would enter the living room or if Loki decided to take action anyway, you wouldn't have this opportunity anymore. So, instead of entering the living room you smiled at Steve and walked towards him. ‘Hey’ you said.
Steve looked to be a bit surprised at your sudden friendliness. Since the two of you hadn't had much contact after everything. ‘How are you doing?’ he asked.
‘I'm actually doing quite well. Could we maybe go talk somewhere?’ you asked.
Steve's whole face lit up. Before all this you would have thought it was because he was happy you reached out to him. He was your best friend after all, of course he wanted to help you whenever he could. Now, you saw more to it. ‘Yeah, of course. We could go to the living room’ he said.
When he walked past you, you grabbed his arm. ‘NO’ you said a bit too loud. Steve looked confused at you. You cleared your throat ‘I mean, let's go to the kitchen. I need a cup of coffee’
Steve nodded and the two of you walked towards the kitchen. You started to make your coffee, asking if he would want some to. He declined and sat down at the table. He talked about what he had been doing lately, while watched you. When you finally poured your drink, you joined him at the table.
‘But enough about me, what did you want to talk about? You look great by the way’ he said.
You couldn't help but blush a little under the compliment. ‘I just wanted to ask you, why did you show me that video?’
‘What video?’ he asked.
You raised an eye-brow, to say really? Steve had heard your unspoken words and shifted a bit uncomfortable in his seat. ‘I already explained, you were so sad when he left you. But you shouldn't be. He didn't deserve you. And I thought it was easier to let you see, than to convince you’
‘I know the video is fake’ you said, staring him right into his eyes. You saw the guilt in his eyes. But he looked down to his feet quickly. You expected that he had a lie ready, but he didn't.
‘How do you know?’ was all he asked.
‘That doesn't matter, why did you do it?’ you asked.
‘He is here, isn't he?’
A bit taken aback by this sudden conclusion. You were silent for a moment. Steve had looked up from his feet and was now looking right at you. The guilt was gone, it was filled with despair. ‘I showed you that video a long time ago. If you found out it was fake, you would have then. But you didn't. That means that something is changed and Loki being back can be the only logical answer’ he explained his reasoning.
‘That doesn't answer my question, why?’
‘For the same reason you believed the video. He isn't a good guy. You shouldn’t be with him!’
‘Let me guess, I should be with you?’ you angrily spat back.
‘I didn't say that!’ ‘It's just, sooner or later he would have hurt you. And I couldn't stand by and watch that happen’
‘So, instead of that. You decided to hurt me, so Loki would hurt me?’ trying to make him see how ridiculous his plan was.
‘I decided to speed up the process, so you would cut him out of your life’ Steve answered.
‘Why didn't you just tell me? You were my best friend!’
‘Were?’ was all Steve asked. He looked hurt, but you didn’t care at this point. Or at least, tried not to care. The two of you were silent for a long time.
You just made up your mind to get up and go. You had heard enough and the only person right now you wanted, was Loki. But right before you could get up, Steve said ‘Look, you may question my methods, but I was doing the right thing. I made a mistake all those years back. I should have gone for you. We should have been together. By the time I realized that, you were already dating Loki and didn't want to hear anything of how I thought he wasn't right for you. But the fact that he left, the fact that you believed that video, isn't that enough proof that you feel the same, deep down?’
That's when you got up. ‘I can't believe that you still think you were in the right. And the only reason I believed that video was because it was easier to hate him, than hate myself’ and you left. Leaving Steve behind.
When you finally entered the living room, it was empty. You stomach turned around and you took a deep breath to calm yourself. The anxious feeling that Loki already left, was creeping in your head.
‘Friday, where is Loki?’ you asked.
‘He is with Thor and Mr. Stark in the training room’ Friday answered you. You released the breath you were holding. At least he was still here. You were really anxious to talk to him. And hoped that he had calmed down enough to listen.
A/N:
Hey everyone, no I haven’t forgotten about this story yet! It was just far down on my to do list. But here the continuation of give it time. Because I couldn’t leave it on the cliff hanger next chapter apparantly! There will be another chapter :P For some reason the picture won’t show tough.. maybe I will add it later.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5: Were you even listening?
Currently standing in your bedroom, a literal God who was scaring you with a thunderstorm, another God who happens to be your ex and is looking great and Tony ranting on about some technological stuff you didn't understand. And then there was in your bed, staring at all three of them, with greasy hear because you didn't shower for you don't know how long, empty food containers and alcohol bottles everywhere, trying not to break down and failing at best.
Maybe the worst part about breaking down at the moment was that the confrontation that Loki wasn't rushing to comfort you and help you. He was standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable and watching you cry. He hates me was the first thought that popped up in your head. Wait, he cheated on ME was the second thought. With Loki gone you blamed Steve for the whole thing eventually, it took you a week to actually get your head together. After an enormous fight the two of you didn't have any contact. Someone who enjoys irony would think it was funny, since that was all Loki ever wanted of you, no contact with Steve. But then Steve apologized and showed you the video, he thought seeing it would make you get over Loki faster. He wasn't supposed to know that it made everything worse.
In a short period of time, you managed to make your boyfriend leave you, fight with your best friend to the point the two of you didn't even say hi to each other, learning your boyfriend actually was cheating on you, which led to being really depressed. You knew that getting involved with Loki wouldn't always be easy, but you never imagined this. The worst thing was, that the two people who meant the most to you barely were a part of your life anymore. Steve had tried to visit sometimes, to cheer you up. But the only thing that could numb the pain was alcohol, and drinking with someone who can't get drunk was no fun at the moment. Plus, even if you told Steve you had forgiven him for kissing you, you actually hadn't. Not really.
‘WHY ARE YOU NOT REACTING TO ANY OF THIS?’ Tony suddenly yelled which made you snap back to your current situation.
Three guys looking intently at you, and you had no idea what Tony was talking about it. The hang-over you currently had certainly wasn't helping and you felt like you were going to be sick any moment. ‘Wha.. What?’ was all you managed to get out.
‘Loki? Not cheating on you? Steve being a jerk? DEEPFAKE!’ Tony answered, like you were supposed to know what he was talking about.
‘I? Huh?’
‘Were you even listening to a word I said?’ he half yelled. You knew he wasn't angry at you, but it felt like he was.
When you didn't answer but just started to cry harder, Tony's features finally softened. ‘I'm sorry, I know it is much. I can explain again?’ he proposed.
‘Thor, Tony can you guys please leave and let us talk?’ Loki said while finally deciding to enter your room.
Tony squeezed your hands for reassurance and left immediately. Thor and Loki were whispering about something you couldn't or at least had not enough focus for it to hear. Thor just padded Loki's shoulder, like he was reassuring him of something. After that he looked over his shoulder towards you and left without saying a word and closing the door behind him. He didn't have to say anything, the pity in his eyes were all you could see.
Loki was looking around your room. It was a mess and, in some places, pretty dirty and you knew how neat Loki was. Every second he spend looking around you felt more shame was over you. But after a few seconds your shame was replaced with irritation and anger.
‘Why are you here?’ you asked not hiding the anger in your voice.
Loki looked equally angry at you, as you were off him. He sighed and the anger slightly disappeared from his face, making room for something else. If you didn't know any better you would thought it was sadness. He slowly walked towards you bed and set on the edge, next to your feet which you had put tightly against your chest, making you able to lean your head on your knees.
‘I came here, because Thor convinced me to come see you’ he said emotionless.
‘You saw me, you can go back and laugh about it’ you said, hoping it sounded like you didn’t care.
‘Why would I laugh?’ he asked sounding genuinely confused.
‘Don't play dumb, we all know a break-up has winners and losers. Seeing me and you next to each other, I think it is clear’ you snapped back.
‘I take no joy out of seeing you like this, it actually makes me sad. I don't think I have to ask, but honestly how are you doing?
You laughed through your tears ‘Great, I am fantastic as you can clearly see!’
‘I have been not doing great either, mostly attending parties until late and drinking’ Loki sighed.
‘Yeah, I know all about your parties and your drinking’ you said.
‘You really didn't hear a word of whole Tony's rant, did you?
‘I was kind of preoccupied by Thor's sudden storm outburst, my own situation and the fact that my ex was here! I didn't have time to listen to Tony’s latest science rant’ you rolled your eyes.
‘Steve lied to you, the video is fake. I never cheated on you’ Loki said.
‘What? Why would you say that?’ you asked in complete shock.
‘Let me explain my side of the story’
Loki told about his conversation with Steve again, that he admitted he wanted you back. About his useless mission to the sanctuary only to be back at the time Steve told him to. That when he walked in, he saw the two of you kiss and that is the reason he left. After that Thor convinced him to come back, because he thought the whole situation was strange. And when he came back, Tony showed him a video of him kissing some girl he never met. After firmly denying it, Tony researched it and it turned out it was tempered with. It was actually some random guy no-one ever met.
‘But that's not what Steve...’ you started but Loki cut you off.
‘Thor told me your side of the story as you told him. And NO that is not wat Steve has said to you. Darling, he has been lying to you, both of his’ he spat. ‘I told you that he couldn't be trusted’
You thought you knew how it felt your world breaking apart, but this news was actually your world breaking apart. Your best friend had been lying to you, going so far that it actually broke your relationship up and after that pinning the whole thing on Loki. And the moment you learn about it, from Loki, the first thing he says was ‘I told you so’. You felt like you were crying, but there were no tears falling anymore. It might not be possible to cry after doing it so much. Dizzines was going through your head and you started to sweat. You pushed Loki away so you could sprint out of the bed.
‘HEY!’ Loki yelled.
But you ignored him. You ran as fast as you could without passing out. You opened your bathroom door, and slammed it shut behind you. You sprinted towards the toilet and fell to your knees. Quickly opening the lid your whole stomach turned upside down and before you knew it you were puking your guts out. It tasted like the wine you had, only much sourer. It was burning your throat but you weren't able to stop. You felt like you were going to chock, because you almost couldn't breathe.
When you felt like your stomach too was in the toilet, you heard a knock on the door.
‘(Y/N), are you okay?’ Loki asked, his voice filled with concern.
After a few deep breaths you hoarsely answered ‘I'm fine. Just go away please’
You sat down next to the stinking toilet, feeling the cold tiles of the bathroom floor against your burning skin. It felt nice, even though you were shivering from the cold. Loki didn't respond, but the moment you heard your front door open and close you knew he had left. You rested your head against the wall. In this moment you had never felt more alone.
