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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Not used to cross posting but new chapter of my now year-long writing project is up. It starts slow but picks up quick. Stuffed with all your stuffing desires.
Breaking
This was supposed to be her big break. A break from reality. A break from her mother. A break from everything that once held her back. But things were not exactly happening as planned.
“Do you have everything you need?” Her mother asked with a voice high strung and filled with worry as she slammed the car trunk closed. The two, Ella and her mother, were standing outside the freshman dorm of All-Star College, experiencing the frustration and devastation of the dreaded move-in day. It had taken them nearly half an hour to unpack and fill Ella’s assigned dorm room. Now all was left was the fated parting. Mother and child, finally going their separate ways.
“Yeah, Mom.” Ella groaned, dancing on unsteady feet. She grabbed the handle of light-weight suitcase covered in an endless array of constellations and the never-ending abyss of space with a small set of wheels to relieve some of the burden of its contents. The handle was pulled to its tallest height, just barely reaching one’s hip. She eyed her mother, leaning towards the entrance of the dormitory. And started towards the front door with her mother following close behind.
“Do you have your braces? Your extra castes?” Her mother said quickly, concern coating her voice as her steps quickened to keep up with her daughter. “What about the wellness center’s emergency contact? You have Dr. Clare on speed dial, right?”
Ella stopped and turned towards the one person who held the key to her freedom. “Yes, mom, I got everything I need and more.” She turned back towards the door.
“But, what about-” Her mother started, only to be interrupted by a loud, annoyed sigh.
“Mom, please. I’m gonna be fine.” She reached out and grabbed her mother’s shoulders, knuckles paling with effort. “I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“But Ella, your condition, I’m just afraid that you’ll…” She bit her lip, glancing between her only daughter and the door. So many uncertainties. So many possibilities. So many ways for such a fragile being to crack and break, shattering into a million undistinguishable pieces.
Ella stiffened. Her condition. How dare she call it that? Always breaking, always screaming, always crying. Always being restrained to the disastrous and stiff mixture of plaster and cotton. Only for it to be reduced to two simple, everyday words. Her condition. Osteogenesis imperfect.
Ella’s eyes slipped over her mother’s mask of worry then to the closed door. “Goodbye, mom.” She leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, lips barely brushing against her mother’s skin. With a shaking hand, she reached over and turned the door handle and strode away into her new life.
The room was rather small, roughly the size of a utility closet. The air was heavy and smelled like stale bread and mold. Reaching with both her arms stretched out wide, Ella could easily touch both, oddly pinkish walls. They were made of stone and flaunted the idea of a masquerade of tape and posters. Provided solely by the college were the absolute essentials two young adults would truly need, beds, desks with accompanying rickety chairs that were on their last legs, a mini-fridge, and a microwave that smelled like leftover meatloaf. There was also a mirror, if you wanted to call it that. Shattered and long been discarded, it sat in Ella’s side of the room, waiting for someone put it back together. All of Ella’s belongings were piled up on her side of the room, just in case her roommate decided to show up before she was completely done unpacking it all.
“Well, home sweet home, I guess.” Ella said, a frown sewn tightly onto her nude lips. She strode over to the shattered mirror and picked up a fragment, watching as the sharp edge silently dug into her paling skin. A droplet of blood leaked out of the wound, like a dew drop slipping off the edge of a sweating radiator. Finally registering the sudden pain, she dropped the piece, watching as it crashed and shattered against the concrete.
She was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed tightly over her stomach. Tears dotted her forest green eyes as her brunette hair fell onto her face. “Who am I kidding? I cannot do this.” Ella slowly sunk to her knees. “What if I break? What if I shatter? Who will pick up all my pieces?” Her eyes glared at the forgotten mirror, anger swelling in her throat.
Then came a knock, rapid and obtruding her storm of thoughts. Ella stood and walked towards the door, peeking out into the hallway to find a bright and eerily cheery face staring back at her. Covered head to toe in red with a dragon, the school’s mascot, costume consuming most of her body, was an older girl. “Howdy there,” the girl said, a southern drawl blanketing her words in dust and hot weather. “My name is Alessandra, but you can call me Aless if you would like. I am your RA.” She peeked into the room, taking in all the bareness and lack of readiness, she glanced down at her clip board and then back up at the room number printed on the door. “You must Ella Nichols.”
Ella’s fingers drummed along the door, waiting patiently for Alessandra to decide she was too boring to deal with and leave. “I am. Why? Is there a problem?”
Alessandra shook her head, “Nope, none at all my dear.” She paused, searching for the right, non-condescending, words. “It’s just that your mother made it very clear that you have a certain…” Another pause, smothering the already foul-smelling air with tension and unease. “Your mother wanted to make sure that I knew that your bones are little different form mine and hers.”
“They’re hollow.” Ella said, trying to ease the door closed ever so slowly. “Much a like a bird’s. But instead of allowing me to fly, they break.” Break, shatter, snap, cave in, Ella thought to herself, not daring to say the words aloud.
Alessandra shifted on her feet and clutched the clip board a little bit closer to her chest. “Well, you mother asked that I help you unpack, since you refused her aid.” She inched towards the door, attempting to pry it open just a little more so she could sneak through the crack.
“No thank you.” She said and pulled the door shut, wincing as the sound echoed around the room. A sigh escaped her lips as she placed her forehead against the cool wooden door. Just beyond was the sound of hesitant but retreating footsteps boomed down the hall. “Just because I’m a little different, does not mean I need extra help.” Her brow furrowed together as she snarled in disgust. “Why must mother always make a big deal out of it?”
She was left undisturbed for a total of three hours before being interrupted yet again by the rapping of knuckles against wood. Only this time, it was not the dragon lady, but rather Ella’s roommate. She was petite and scrawny, barely able to carry the large cardboard box that rested snuggly in her arms. Her hair was raven black and neatly braided down her back, barely reaching the top of her narrow hips. Black and blue spots slept snuggly under her caramel brown eyes, indicating the lack of sleep. Unlike Ella’s pale skin, the girl was tan and looked like she practically lived on the sun. She slipped through the door and hefted the box onto her bed.
With a huff of breath, she turned and smiled at Ella. “That was a lot heavier than it looked, trust me.” The box barely made a dent in the bed’s conforming nature. “The name is Dianna, and yes just like Wonder Woman.” She struck the iconic heroine’s pose, crossing her wrists in front of her upper chest and gave Ella a fierce look. “What’s your name?”
“The name is Ella, like Cinderella, but without all the ashes.” She said, eyeing the girl warily. “My mother did not send you here, right?”
Dianna shot her a confused look, eyes narrowing. “Your mother, girl I have never met your mother in my entire life.” She paled as a thought crossed her mind. “No offense to her, of course.”
Ella quickly shook her head. “No, it’s just that she...” A groan slipped past her lips. “Nothing, just forget I said anything.”
Dianna shrugged, “Well, I gotta go get the rest of my stuff.” She headed towards the door. “Unless you want to help. My parents did not exactly have the time to see their youngest daughter, off. After all what is another move-in day compared the four others that came before it.”
Ella could feel her head bobbing up and down, eagerly. Then realization slowly sunk in. She could not help. She could not assist. She could not do anything without someone else helping her. Her eagerness died as it turned over into sadness. “I cannot, sorry.”
“Why not?” Dianna asked, the smile persisting to be a permanent part of her face. She glanced over Ella’s frame, taking in every detail. A pale blue sun-dress adorned her roommate’s frame, hanging loosely from her shoulders. Her green eyes were soft and a never-ending sight of apologies. “I do not see anything wrong with you, maybe a little on the skinny side. A little milk can easily fix that.”
Ella shook her head. “No, I have this thing. This condition.” The word felt like poison on her lips. “Where I cannot exactly do anything at all, without breaking. My bones are fragile and will snap like a twig if I’m not too careful.”
Dianna nodded, “Well, I guess that means you get off easy with carrying all the light stuff.” She held up her arms to show off her muscles. “Looks like I get to use these babies after all.”
Another smile ran across her roommate’s lips and Ella could not help but smile as well. “Well, I guess that beats carrying nothing.”
Walking arm and arm, the two strode out of the dormitory towards Dianna’s rusty orange punch-buggy. The interior was a messy array of dorm supplies and feminine essentials, such as high heels and packets of pumpkin-spiced coffee grounds. With arms filled with pillows and a random blanket, Ella was the first to arrive back to the girl’s dorm, only to find that the janitors had been by and cleared away the shattered mirror. She threw the pillows onto Dianna’s bed and sat on her somewhat assembled mattress, feeling weightless as she jumped onto it. The mattress springs groaned under her sudden weight. She kicked off her shoes and laid out, waiting patiently for Dianna to return.
The door slowly creaked out and there appeared Dianna, with tears streaking down her petite face. She bit her lip, trying to hold back a sob. Her eyes glazed over Ella as she slid to her knees.
“Dianna! What happened?” Without a moment of hesitation, Ella jumped from the bed. Only to be met with a sudden crack and then pain. Tears welled up in her own as eyes as her entire body folded in on itself, forcing her frame into the agonizing fetal position.
“Ella! What did you-?” Dianna raced to her newly-made friend’s side, hands hesitant hovering over her crumpled form. “What do I do? Who do I need to call? Ella! Speak to me!”
Just hold yourself together. Ella thought, keeping still so she would not become an endless pile of broken and tattered puzzle pieces. You knew something was going to go wrong. And now look at you. You’re nothing! Nothing but a mistake! Nothing but a burden! Who is going to pick you up now? You are just like that stupid mirror.
“Ella, I need you to listen to me.” Dianna whispered, voice suddenly clear of all emotion. Cold and tense, she sounded like the Amazonian warrior, as opposed to her meek and self-conscious side Ella had seen before. “I am going to carry you to the wellness center. If any time, it feels like I am hurting you. I need to know. Please do not keep secrets from me.”
Hands shaking like an old woman with arthritis, Dianna wrapped her arms around Ella’s breaking frame, trying her best not to cause any more damage that was sustained. “Where did you…” Break. The word clogged up in her throat, refusing to come forth. “Where does it hurt?”
“Legs. Lower legs.” Ella spat, barely able to keep the pain from splattering and staining her shaking voice. “Broken. Definitely broken.” She grunted as she was hefted from the peaceful ground to Dianna’s unsteady and bending back. “I’m so sorry. I must be the worst roommate in the world. Just when we were finally getting to know each other. I just had to go and break.”
Dianna laughed, bubbly and full of joy. “Do you know want to know why I was crying?” A pause, just enough for her to catch her breath as they trekked down the hallway towards the wellness center. “On the way back here, I realized something. For once in my life, someone has finally noticed me.” Another burst of laughter. “Wait that sounded better in my head. What I mean to say is that for once in my life, someone saw me for who I was. Not as the sister or the daughter, but as Dianna. Independent and fierce Dianna. And do you know who that someone was?” A smile spread across her lips. “It was you, my dear Cinderella. Now come on, let’s get your glass slipper fixed before our lovely RA decides to steal you away to the tower from whence you came.”
Be in existence Up in arms: Preparing for Reclusion
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Red Flax Frame As long as Your Apple IPad: The First-class Buddy For Your IPad
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