Long Lusty Looks.
hands twitch
feet move in odd patterns
throwing you off balance.
he takes of his shirt
or did you just imagine that?
Eye contact begins to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
You try and lift your head up but it is aggressive kept down by the gravity of self loathing.
"Why do you mumble?"
"ummserrummmlaa..."
Translation:
I detest the sound of own voice and if I hear it I might melt like the wicked witch of the West.East.I mean West.
" You talk so low, I can't hear you."
"I'm melting..!"
"What?"
"Nothing"
He walks away and for a brief moment I am relieved. Like I just got out of detention.
Then I start feeling this pang.
The one you got when your where a kid lost in a grocery store. Right in the center of your chest, as you realize who been lost and might never be found. Forced to live among-st the rats and empty cereal boxes.
But then like magic he appears again, your heart violently assaulting your chest, your mouth is disgustingly dry and your hyper aware of your body.
Wait, we like this shit?
All the while in the cracks of my conscious as these awkward events unfold, I am playing THE REEL.
You know what I mean.
The reel, the romantic one that you would never would share with anyone.
Everyone has one. Its different every time, sort of.
But mine mainly consists of being pushed against the wall passionately and kissed until I can't think anymore. Maybe a leg gets lifted, I dunno. Secretly I want him to throw me over his deliciously broad shoulders and take me home. Then we can cuddle for hours until I fall asleep and no words are exchanged. Just long, lusty looks.
Blurgh!
OK. Maybe I am the only one.