Buttercup - First Sightings
Single dad! Spencer Reid X Au Pair!reader
Basically latin@!babysitter!reader,
fic type : fluff, reverse comfort, yearning. excessive yearning, slow burn
summary : Spencer had had a long day, and you decide to try and cheer him up
word count : 4.3k approx!
content warning : gender of reader is not specified, only that they come from Argentina, no translation needed I think!!! these two don't know they love each other. post criminal minds Spencer??? my writing of him might not be the most accurate, I tried to look up tbe stuff I hadn't reached in the series yet, I hope you like it:3
a/n : also JJ and Hotch mention along with their kids. Single parent club and its these three lovable sillies. This chapter isn't a prequel, since some things might have changed in the actual series, but the premise is still the same
You hummed under your breath as you passed the rag over the kitchen island.
The child you were taking care of was sat on a puffy seat near you. She was reading a book you bought her recently. A simple story in Spanish from your childhood. Your duty as a babysitter, an au pair, was to teach the child your native language. It was a sort of exchange, cultural appreciation, and everything of the sort.
Emmy looked up from the pages, her glasses hanging by the tip of her nose. "What time is it?"
You hummed with a smile, turning to the clock.
"It's… five to four."
The little girl's brows furrowed, "five to four?"
You grinned, "five minutes until it's four."
Her mouth fell into an O shape and she nodded. That sounded about right in her head.
The kitchen was finally cleaned up to your standards. You put your hands on your hips and turned to the oven.
"You said we had to wait for half an hour?"
Emmy piped up again, book in her lap.
"Yeah! It's so the insides get cooked too."
"Sounds about right," you smiled.
You let out a sigh of relief as you brought your arms over your head. There were a few pops as you stretched really hard.
"That's not normal," Emmy frowned.
You grinned and shot her playful a wink, "Unless you wanna be a massager, I don't think my back can be fixed."
Emmy took it into consideration. Then she beamed.
"My daddy knows about that stuff! He massages me sometimes."
The mention of her father made you pause. Hm. Hmmm.
Spencer Reid. Sat behind you. Digging his long fingers into your muscles. His breathing against the nape of your neck. His voice close to your ear.
Your lungs freezed for a moment. Your entire body did.
You covered your mouth with your hand, rubbing your chin. You squeezed your eyes shut as you shook your head. Focus.
You then turned to the little girl, your usual smile on your lips.
"Really? I didn't take your dad for that kind of person."
Emmy nodded, bright as the sun, "You know he knows a lot of stuff! He's very smart."
You chuckled lightly, strolling up to her to caress her head.
"That he is."
You sat down on the floor beside her so you could peer over her shoulder.
"In what part are you?"
"Uhm… Rodolfo…"
You looked at her, the smile in your eyes clear as day as you encouraged her.
"Rodolfo is… in the new part of the forest. And he's looking for friends… and… what are… mahndareenas?"
"Mandarinas are… they're not oranges, wait."
You turned to the floor as you thought. Then you snapped your fingers with a smile.
"Tangerines," you grinned as you looked back at Emmy.
Emmy made a sound of awe and nodded her head. She pointed at the page.
"I like the drawings."
"They're real cute, huh?"
"Yeah!"
You remembered with immense clarity how you came to live in the Reids household.
You were an English teacher in your country, having finished two university courses already. Thank goodness for public education. But you wanted to really challenge yourself. So, you decided to become an au pair.
Spencer Reid was your first ever boss. You were nervous on your first day. He tried his best to be accommodating, and he was! Really! It's just that not accepting a handshake made a bit of an impression on you. But you didn't hold that against him. Later on, you began to realize his nature. His usual breakfast meals. How he'd prefer to mumble the fruit of his knowledge. His preferred foods. The way his voice softened when it was just you three. His favorite air freshener. It was only part of the job as an au pair to know all these things down to a T!
And his lovely daughter stole your heart too. Spencer had done an incredible job in raising her. She was a creative little girl, whose mind was full of curiosity and wonder. Emmy had inherited her father's habit of reading. She read almost everything. So little, and she could already master (the second one was still a work in progress, but neither you or Spencer pushed her to the limit) two languages. English and Russian. And now that you were here, she was heavily interested in Spanish. She'd always say how happy you looked when you talked about your country, and one day she promises to visit and see everything you relate to her so passionately.
You had been so absorbed in talking to Emmy that you didn't notice the sound of the doorknob rattling. Nor the footsteps that approached the living room.
"I used to read this stuff when I was–"
A familiar click pulled you out of your trance.
Your eyes darted to the doorframe, and there he was. Hidden behind a little camera. Spencer's hands shook as he lowered the device.
"I'm sorry," he apologized through tight lips, "The angle just seemed right. And the lighting was favorable."
You blinked at him, and Emmy jolted up from her seat.
"Daddy, daddy!"
The doctor chuckled as the little girl practically ran into his legs. He bent his knees and picked her up.
"Hello, my little genius," he grinned as he rubbed his forehead against her hair. Emmy giggled and wrapped her arms around his shoulder.
He continued, "What are you reading?"
Emmy looked back at you, "El lobo Rodolfo!"
You nodded, "That she said correctly."
Spencer rubbed Emmy's back as she approached you slowly, but her eyes were glued to his daughter.
"At this rate, you'll know more languages than me."
The girl grinned and nodded excitedly.
You stood up from your spot and brought your hands behind your back. You couldn't look him in the eye. He couldn't either.
It had been a long morning for Spencer. Although his work is less stressful nowadays, it is impossible to find enough time for both himself and his daughter. But even then, he would sacrifice every second of personal time just to raise his daughter right. It's what he's always wanted. His daughter was above everything else. It will always be that way. But the creeping shift of something else threatening the rankings below her made him feel uneasy.
Spencer ran his fingers through Emmy's curls. His eyes then turned to yours.
"Thank you for today."
You shook your head and your hand.
"You always say that. It's my job, Doctor Reid."
He hummed, a faint tug on his lips.
"You know my name. Use it."
The man kept his lips pressed against his daughter's forehead as he began to walk into the kitchen. He always did that, and Emmy knew exactly why. She was happy to give her daddy the love and affection he needed.
You followed behind, fingers tracing the lines in your palm.
"Emmy found a cookie recipe online, and we decided to try it."
"Cookies," Spencer murmured before looking down at Emmy.
"Chocolate chip!" She chirped happily.
Spencer nodded and tucked her against his chest again.
"Sounds good."
It took you less than ten minutes to set everything on the counter. A medium-sized plate with a whimsical pattern to put the cookies on, a purple container for Emmy to take to school, and another container for her to share tonight.
Spencer had arranged a little sleepover between Emmy and her cousin Michael. She was around the same age as him, him being a year and a half younger, but they got along just fine. Henry, Mike's older brother, always piped in to hang out. And Jack, her other cousin who was as old as Henry, also seemed to be joining them tonight. Although they were already grown little boys in their second year of high school, they still had a few years left to enjoy their youth. Free of responsibilities!
The man set his daughter down on the counter, a strained smile on his lips. You put on your mittens and bent over to take out the food.
"And what will you do with me gone all night, daddy?" Emmy asked through a pout.
"Well, I was thinking of reading a book. But I could also watch a movie."
You set the hot tray beside the plate. Ears catching onto every single word.
Spencer looked at you from the corner of his eyes.
"I… I probably should have told you about this sooner. You could have planned a night out with your friends."
You didn't have many friends here. But the sentiment was clear. You gave him a knowing smirk, raising a brow as you plated the cookies.
"And miss the fun of cooking you dinner? I don't think so."
Spencer offered a light laugh before looking back at Emmy.
"I guess I'm forcing them to stay."
Emmy giggled and wiggled her feet, "You can play card games… And chess! And board games too!"
Spencer nodded, swiping some of her curls from her forehead.
"Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Chess and card games it is," he smiled before pressing a kiss to her forehead.
He wrapped his arms around her softly and sighed. It was difficult to be him sometimes. Days like this one reminded him of his own inferiority. But to remember who he was fighting for gave him back the air to breathe.
Emmy wrapped her arms around his torso. You eyed the two as you put some of the cookies in the purple container. Something felt wrong.
Once Emmy's clothes were packed, and two containers worth of cookies were stuffed into her school bag, Spencer got ready to drive her to JJ's house. You've heard a lot about her from him. Well. As much as he'd tell you. Which was unusually more nowadays than what you usually got out of him.
When Emmy came to say goodbye, you kneeled down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
"¡Chau, mi amorcito!"
She giggled and waved at you. Spencer's eyes met yours as Emmy walked outside. Cold, honey chocolate. Cold enough to give you the illusion of melting. Then he was gone.
For a second, you remained there on the floor.
It looked like Spencer was having a bad day.
Your eyes trailed to the bottom of the door.
Yeah, a bad day.
You slowly got up from the floor.
The following hour went smoothly for you. Productivity wise, at least. Your mind couldn't stop reeling with images of Spencer pausing before exiting the house. He wasn't having a good day, that much was certain, but how could you fix it?
If you would have asked yourself that same question three years ago, your approach would have been a little different. You were new to the Reid household. You were hesitant to reach out to Spencer in any way more friendly than what your relationship was already supposed to be.
But then you stayed. You stuck around for six months, then a year, then two. Until little Emilia was five years old. And you were proud to say that you had grown a bit on Spencer. He wasn't just your boss. He was a friend now. Chosen family. And you wanted to make him feel better.
It took you more than you would have liked to come up with a plan. A plan that would surely make him smile.
An hour passed since Spencer dropped Emmy off at JJ's house. The blond could see something was bothering him, and she sat him down for a coffee. He watched the kids play outside as JJ talked to him.
"Spencer. We have known each other for how long now?"
"Nineteen years, eight months, two weeks and–"
"Exactly. I know you. You know me. We have been there for each other through everything."
The sole golden band on her finger glistened under the sun.
"Which is exactly why I don't understand why you won't let us help."
Hotch, who was fixing himself a cup of coffee, walked back towards his friends.
"Tell us what's wrong," he said, not at all oblivious to the tension behind the man's eyes.
Spencer grimaced as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was getting long. He knew.
"Look, we can only meet twice a month. I don't want to spend the few hours we have together talking about my problems."
Both of them gave him the same look. The don't-fucking-kid-me look. As if Spencer hadn't been there for JJ after Will. As if he wasn't present in Hotch's decisions after leaving the BAU for good.
Spencer looked at them. Then a sharp, annoyed sigh escaped his lips.
"You're stressed," JJ guessed.
"Yes."
"Your babysitter decided to fly back to their country."
That made his brows furrow. He looked at Hotch as if he had grown a second head.
"What?"
He rubbed his forehead.
"No."
The two, hidden from Spencer's view due to him taking a sip of his cup, gave each other a look.
"The cases are worse compared to Quantico?"
"No. No, no. I feel lighter. I don't personally address the unsubs. I stay in the office and analyze pieces of information. It's like a sabbatical."
Hotch raised a brow, "You've been on a sabbatical for years now."
Spencer's face scrunched up. He looked defiantly at the table. He knew better than to fight them on this.
"I'm close to resigning."
That made the room silence.
Spencer, finally leaving the BAU?
JJ gave her old colleague a look. Hotch didn't know what to say.
JJ began with a soft murmur, "What…"
'What brings this on' was not a good question. They knew very well why he'd want to retire.
"… do you envision in your future?"
Good save.
Spencer's eyes softened as he looked at his friend. Then Hotch decided to sit down besides JJ, making it easier and worse to look them in the eye.
His own hands met each other under the table, and he smoothed his thumbs over his skin.
That was a good question. A very, very good question. Spencer looked through the window again, catching sight of Emmy running around with Mike and Jack.
He tried speaking, "I want to get my daughter into a good university."
Hotch continued, "We are asking about you, Reid."
Spencer gave him a pointed look. "Emmy is a part of me. How can I possibly think of a life without her in it?
"Spence."
JJ tried to offer her hand over the table. He took a deep breath in. Then out. He slowly reached for her hand back, the action grounding him.
He had to think. What did he really want?
"I want… A flexible schedule. That way I can pick up Emmy from school."
A fond smile grew equally on their lips.
"And what else?"
Spencer squeezed his knee as it bounced.
"Uhm… I'd like to travel. I want Emmy to explore the world."
He looked down at the table again.
"I– I want to cook. And read more."
How could something so mundane bring tears to his eyes?
"And the babysitter?"
Freeze.
Spencer freezed immediately. He could hear the beating drums of his heart. The air that he breathed into his lungs and then exhaled was almost tangible.
His brows furrowed as he looked down at his cup of coffee.
He stayed silent. For longer than necessary.
"… I'm not sure."
JJ planted her elbow on the table, her cheek leaning into her free hand. Hotch hummed, clearly unimpressed. But he decided not to push.
JJ was patient, "Would you like to move out?"
Spencer shook his head, "No. There is scientific evidence that proves that children moving houses at such a young age show a great decline in social skills, a regression in developmental milestones and heightened disturbances such as fussiness or clinginess."
He didn't smile as he said this. They were listening to him. That made him lower his gaze.
"I don't want Emmy to go through that stress."
JJ smiled, leaning further into her hand. She squeezed his hand as they continued.
"But at some point, would you like to?" She mumbled.
Spencer hummed. He rubbed JJ's knuckles anxiously as he looked at Hotch.
"In this moment, I… I like my house. I feel comfortable. And I can't say how I will react if I were to change it."
He looked down at the table again.
"You're doing great," Hotch said.
Spencer did a double take on him. His brows were furrowed as his mouth fell slightly agape.
"You're a great father, Reid," he continued.
JJ looked at Hotch, then back at Spencer, who looked dumbfounded for once in his life.
"You're doing a wonderful job."
The praise made him stutter. He looked around instinctively. Maybe they were talking to someone else and he wasn't aware. Or perhaps he wasn't in the room at all and this was just a sunny dream between the nightmares.
He pointed at himself.
"Me?"
JJ grinned and nodded, "Yes, you!"
Spencer looked back through the window. Emmy was laughing and enjoying life. As he promised himself she would be.
It took him a couple of empty seconds to come with the conclusion. He looked up at his friends and nodded.
"I'm resigning from the FBI."
You were in the middle of preparing the couch when you heard the door open and close. You were face to face with Doctor Spencer Reid. Your new target.
You stepped aside, finger pointing at the couch.
"Sit, please."
Spencer paused by the door. He set his messenger bag by the door, under the coats, before slowly inching towards you.
"Are… are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay. Just sit!"
You didn’t look like you were lying, so there seemed nothing to worry about. He approached you like an animal ready to pounce on him and eat his flesh.
He sat down on the cushion closest to him, eyes glued to yours for the evening.
"You're stressed," you said decidedly.
"Yes," he replied, clearly struck.
"I'll try to fix it for you."
You grabbed the remote from the coffee table and switched on the movie you chose for tonight. It wasn't something Spencer watched at all. Howl's Moving Castle. The adaptation by Studio Ghibli. You mentioned the book once or twice to Spencer, saying that you might reread it once you were out of your school responsibilities. He remembered that. It would be difficult to remember that.
His eyes stayed with you as you took a seat beside him.
You looked at him firmly.
"Do you… do you wanna talk about it?"
Spencer couldn't tear his eyes off of you. He was having an out of body experience. He shook his head.
"No. No, it's…"
A hand slipped to the nape of his neck.
"I… I'm thinking about quitting the FBI."
That made your eyes widen. You nodded, positive of anything he wanted.
"Quitting…"
Your eyes drifted down to your rings. Memories of your life spent in this state. In this country. With this family.
"I think… it would make Emmy's day to know that… you'd be around more."
Spencer had a very strict schedule. He never knew when he'd work during the night, or early during the day, or whole days on end. It would definitely make his mental health a lot better if he quit.
The man smiled at your answer, nodding to himself too.
"That's what I was thinking."
The movie was still on pause as you two talked.
"I'm doing this for her. And… and for me too."
He squeezed his hands together.
"And… Well…"
You tilted your head to the side. You slowly began to catch on to the implication. If Spencer found more time in his hands to take care of Emmy, then your work wasn't…
Your brows knitted together sadly.
Spencer caught that. His hand reached for yours.
"No, I'm not firing you. And besides, your contract demands you to stay for another four months."
He shook his head. Firm on his decision.
"You are a vital part of Emmy's life. You are a vital part of… my life."
His hand let go of yours, as if the sudden realization of his actions burnt his skin.
"We wouldn't want to see you go. If… It's…"
Doctor Spencer Reid felt like he was twenty again. Words in a jumble. Trying so, so desperately to get his point across to other people. Shy. So shy.
"I-it's up to you. What you choose to do. I…"
He gulped quietly. You looked at him through wide eyes. You stayed in that awkward position for two seconds before you answered.
"Of course I'll stay."
A warm smile grew on your lips. The Reids were so charming.
"You are my favorite family."
Despite his inhibition for athletics, he could feel his heart doing a somersault. It felt good to be recognized like this. Much better than being recognized over his intellect, surprisingly.
You fell into a comfortable silence as you got cozy on the couch. Spencer tried to keep his restlessness at bay. But luckily, you decided to talk to him.
"I'll make dinner tonight. I never tried making Indian cuisine before, but…"
Something changed inside of Spencer. A breath escaped the small space between his lips. Indian cuisine. He loved Indian cuisine. He couldn't help but laugh nervously.
"Ha. Uh… yes. Yes, I… it's… I can…"
You smiled at him so gently. How you would look at Emmy whenever she's stuck on a line from one of your books.
"I can help you. If you want."
You nodded at that, "Having an expert in the kitchen would help me."
The two of you barely focused on the movie. You had a lot of comments to pass around. You enjoyed it yourself. Spencer seemed to relax more as he talked.
"I've made my own research on this movie. And then I had to know more about the book. The cover of your adaptation seemed like something Emmy would love. I would like to introduce it to her when she's a little older."
You listened to him intently, a soft shape of we-are-not-talking-about-that-right-now in your eyes.
"I'm interested in introducing ideas such as kindness, courage and the importance of looking beyond appearances to her. It would be a good idea to start with this movie. I enjoy the aesthetic, and the songs so far are out of this world."
You nodded, happy to talk about your interests.
"It certainly helped me a lot when I was younger. I think media that involves anti-war sentiments really shape a curious, soft-hearted person. And Sophie is a great example of a strong female lead. I love her!"
Spencer had to manually exhale and inhale. He nodded.
"I want Emmy to be surrounded by strong female protagonists. I want her to see herself in them."
You smiled as you looked at him. Everything was alright in the world.
"I'll make a list of books and movies she can read and watch, then."
Spencer nodded, "I'll hold you to it."
You grinned and lifted your hand, "Pinky promise."
He seemed surprised by this. Something so… childish coming from you. But not childish. More… hm. Soft? Soft and… gentle. Pure.
He hooked his pinky with yours.
"Pinky promise."
Preparing dinner went by smoothly. Well, as smoothly as one could go with a pair of hands guiding your each and every move. You've never seen Spencer this unconditionally happy.
"And then you dip the chicken in the bowl."
"I had no idea we had all these ingredients at home."
Spencer grinned as she watched you cover the chicken in the marinade you made.
"We actually don't have the spice that I like, but that's okay. We have other salts and also red chili powder, so we should be okay."
You smirked at the mention of chili.
"You have an appetite for spiciness."
"Clearly."
You put your heart and soul into marinating this damn chicken. Sure, the marinate was tasty. But still! You couldn't work with someone looking over your shoulder like a hawk.
Spencer smiled, "That's good. Now we let it sit for approximately twenty to… half an hour."
You grabbed the clear foil and began to wrap the bowl securely. Just for the chicken not to get messed up.
You sighed as you put your hands under the sink.
"You'll have to cook for me one day, Spencer. And you'll cook me my favorite meal."
The man laughed as he stood beside you, hands on the counter as he looked at your hands.
"And what's your favorite meal?"
Your eyes softened at the question.
"No, no. We can't make it here."
And suddenly you really missed your home. Your face fell as you thought about it.
Spencer caught on quite quickly. He tried to find your eyes, even if they were full of held-back sorrow.
"You know… you could always teach me more about your culture."
Your head whipped to him immediately. He smiled.
"Yeah," he murmured faintly, "The cultural exchange also applies to me, right? I'd like to learn more about your country."
Even if he had a clear idea of how your country was like. The length and width, the strategic energy sources, its stance on production and import of raw materials. But he wanted to hear it from you.
You chuckled softly, drying your hands with a cloth you kept intact for moments like these.
"We can start with the basics later."
You looked up at him, and suddenly the light in the room made two white diamonds appear in your eyes. Right.
He nodded. Yes. He could do that.
"I want to be beside you through this work stuff. I'll try to guide you if I can. If there's anything I know, is how to make a good CV."
Spencer laughed, his gaze trailing to the sink again.
"That'll be helpful. Thank you, really."
He cracked his knuckles absent-mindedly.
"What would I do without you, huh?"
You let out a small hum. Utterly helpless against his wit. Surrendered to the effect he had on you. The Reid effect.
"Mm, yeah. What would you do without me?"
a/n : I might make this into a series. I like the slow burm
credits for dividers <3:
@roseraris
@/enchanthings-a