Long Way to Happy: Prompt Fill
Anon wanted to see Blaine's attempt to move on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
“Blaine! You came!”
“Of course I came, I couldn’t miss out on your first Halloween part in your new place.” Blaine replies.
Blaine can’t help but smile at David’s enthusiasm and his horrible lisp caused by his fake vampire fangs. He’s glad he decided to come, he’s been so focused on schoolwork and…other things that he hasn’t spent much time with any of his friends.
Stepping inside the house Blaine takes off and hangs up his jacket, this isn’t the first time he’s been inside the townhouse David is renting, they’d all helped each other move in at the beginning of the school year.
“C’mon, everybody’s in the basement, party’s already started!”
Blaine doesn’t miss that David hasn’t commented on his lack of a costume, even though upon invite David made it clear that costumes were a must. He supposes David is just happy he decided to come. Halloween or not, Blaine isn’t really in the mood to dress up.
--
He makes quick rounds to say a quick ‘hello’ to all of his friends there, he’s always a little surprised that so many of them ended up at OSU but he’s also glad. Blaine’s not really sure he could’ve pulled through without his friends these past several months. As it is he feels like he’s hanging on by a thread and right now he just really wants a drink.
He’s not sure who it is that got the alcohol but he doesn’t really care, it’s there and he grabs the first clear bottle he sees and pours himself a shot. It burns and he coughs into his hand before he pours himself another. He’s not a heavy drinker, this is a rare occurrence and Blaine’s sure it has a lot to do with the fact that a year ago this month Kurt was accused of murder.
“You’re not wearing a costume.”
He’s on his fourth shot when he hears the teasing voice, when he turns around he’s caught off guard. The boy is wearing a cape and a phantom mask and for a split second Blaine thinks it’s Kurt. He’s slim, pale and slightly taller than Blaine with styled brown hair. However, somehow through his drunken haze Blaine is able to see that the similarities end there. The one eye Blaine can see is a dark brown, his face a little too wide and voice much lower than Kurt’s.
Blaine’s still staring when the boy holds out his hand with a smile and introduces himself as Alex.
Blaine snaps himself out of his daze and takes Alex’s hand, introducing himself and trying for a smile.
“So, why no costume? Don’t buy into all the hype?”
“It’s not that I just…last minute decision to come here. I didn’t really have time to come up with something.”
“He talks!” Alex exclaims with a chuckle.
“Yeah, uhm…” Blaine trails off as he catches sight of David over Alex’s shoulder. He’s standing with Nick and Wes and they’re all watching him. David nods to Alex with a wide smile before turning back to the others.
Blaine looks back to Alex before looking back to his friends – now joined by Jeff – who keep glancing at him and sending winks or approving nods.
That’s when it clicks for Blaine that this is an opportunity. Alex is clearly into him and Blaine can try it, can do what his friends keep telling him he needs to do.
To move on.
Somewhere in his alcohol hazed brain that thought hurts but mostly he’s just numb, the alcohol a protective barrier against the pain and the hurt.
He realizes he’s been talking this entire time, he’s not even really sure what he’s saying, some story about his Warbler day. It must be working because Alex is smiling at him and moving closer, crowding him into the booze table but Blaine doesn’t try to move away.
A hushed ‘You’re cute Blaine.' and it’s happening, Alex is leaning in and Blaine’s eyes shut right before the press of soft lips and Blaine can barely contain his smile because this is it, he’s moving on.
It’s that last thought that has Blaine jerking away because Kurt and oh God what has he done? He doesn’t want to move on from Kurt, no matter whether it’s the right or wrong or natural progression of things because it’s Kurt he wants. No some cheap hook-up at a party, just Kurt.
Blaine can feel the tears leaking and he shakes his head before pushing past Alex and heading for the stairs. He needs out of here, wants to go home, wants to go to Kurt. He’s fumbling to get his jacket off the hanger when he feels a hand grip his arm.
“Blaine, you’re drunk. You’re not driving home like this, I swiped your keys before we went downstairs anyway.”
It’s David behind him and of course David took his fucking keys and he’s not drunk, not really, he’s definitely fine to drive. He just needs to get himself to the prison,he needs to see Kurt and he’s frustrated that his so-called friends can’t seem to understand that. He stops wrestling with his jacket and throws it to the floor.
He’s suddenly crying – asking to see Kurt, asking why Kurt won’t see him – when he feels David’s arms wrap around him. He barely registers it as David moves him slowly upstairs and it’s almost a surprise when he opens his eyes to find himself in David’s room.
It’s not long before they’re joined by Wes, Nick and Jeff who had seen David run out after him. Everything is still blurry and he’s really regretting those shots because if he had been thinking clearly he never would have cheated on Kurt. And as soon as the thought passes he’s unable to stop himself from latching onto that thought.
He cheated on Kurt.
“Kurt’s going to hate me. I shouldn’t have listened to you, I cheated and oh god I shouldn’t have…I just want Kurt…I want Kurt and he’s going to hate me and I lovehimsofuckingmuch ohmygod…he’s the love of my life and I just…I can’t believe I did that. My boyfriend is in prison and I go and make out with some…some random person and – oh god Kurt.”
He’s sobbing and someone is holding him, he’s not sure who but he doesn’t care, he just wants Kurt. Wants to apologize for being such a fucking terrible boyfriend. Wants to tell Kurt how much he loves him and to please, please forgive him.
“Blaine, Blaine it’s okay. You’re not a terrible boyfriend.” He shakes his head at Jeff’s words because it’s not true and he’s a horrible boyfriend.
Eventually his sobs start to die down, he’s still crying but it’s not as frantic. When he opens his eyes he sees that they’re all on the floor, leaning against David’s bed. It’s Nick he’s been crying on and he wants to apologize for being such a mess but at the same time he just doesn’t care, and he’s exhausted from all the crying.
He doesn’t respond to any of their questions, just buries his face in Nick’s shoulder and closes his eyes. He knows they’re concerned but he doesn’t have it in him to explain or tell them that everything is okay because it’s not, not when Kurt is still rotting in some cell.
Eventually they stop trying to talk to him; he hears them set up the laptop on the floor to watch a movie instead. Even though he does not want to talk to them he can’t help feeling grateful for their presence, for deciding to stay with him. He’s not sure how long the movie’s been playing when he feels something shoved in front of his face, he opens his eyes to see Jeff holding out an unwrapped mini Kit-Kat bar, eyes still trained on the movie. He tries to ignore it but it’s shaken insistently so he reaches out and grabs it, he knows Jeff won’t stop until he eats the damn chocolate.
Instead, it only seems to encourage Jeff because throughout the movie various different chocolates are shoved into his face until he eats it. It’s about halfway through that Blaine decides to turn around and actually watch it with them, leaning back against the bed with the rest of them. He almost laughs when realizes they’re watching Idle Hands because really? It all just seems so normal, like Blaine wasn’t hysterically crying an hour ago.
Jeff’s no longer shoving chocolate in his face, he doesn’t have to because Blaine’s grabbing them out of the box himself. He can still hear the party downstairs but he has no desire to return to it, it's loud and full of crazy, drunk college kids and he'd really rather not.
No, he's good here; sitting with his friends who seem to just get him in a way not many people do.
Everything isn't suddenly okay, Kurt's still in prison and he hasn't managed to shake his own guilt but he knows he's not alone, knows that he can lean on them when things get bad and for now that's good enough.