mini vent on my appearance i guess? nothing about me being negative, just the situation
man sometimes it's hard to try and create the look you want on yourself while other people around you just lowkey wanna stop you from doing it. i want a certain haircut, people try to discourage you from having it or getting it done, so it doesn't happen.
i've lately been making myself not please others anymore, cuz even when i do i still get fucked over or it's not enough for them. AND THEN they suddenly go like "oh actually this suits you" YEAH NO SHIT YALL, LIKE TRUST MY PERSPECTIVE ON WHAT I WANNA LOOK!!!
my eyebrows are shorter, my hair is dyed black, i'm leaning more back into punk/goth looks again after a long time of appeasing other's to look "normal", and hell even my make-up is back to being thicker again instead of a Delicate Dainty Liner or w/e! if anything, i'm feeling like myself and finally able to express it visually that makes me happy ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ
i did kinda expect a little bit of resistance from other people but i'm glad im in a state of mind where i'm feeling more confident to say "yeah no, this is happening and i'm gonna keep going."
overall, happy with how i present myself now, feel more confident (even if i still deal with lots of anxiety), and i'm loving life again after a long period of time with bad depression. glad at some point i read somewhere "look what you'd wanna look like when you were a teen" and it's oddly been working!! i do think 13 yr old loo WOULD be happy to see how they look~