Are you a simple shop girl in Sheffield, Bristol, or Stoke-on-Trent who longs for life as seen on The Crown, or as you've read about in the spicier tabloids that have their eye on the Royals?
“But I’m just a common lass!” you say?
Then try the latest product from Ye Wyrd Antiquarian Apothecary Inc.
Royal Care Shampoo and Conditioner: Regal Dowager Blend!
Just twelve washings, plush one, during the New Moon, and… you and everyone else will see the results.
No one will doubt you look like you just came from Buckingham Palace.
All the lads will be going from “Here luv git us another pint” to “Yes ma'am!” in quick time. (if married or you have a boyfriend, before you use it, be sure to warn them that there might be a sharpish change in your appearance.)
Or try some of our other Royal Care Shampoo and Conditioner products.
Posh Hottie, Prim Nanny, Liverpool Waif, and Lime Street Vixen.
