a couple of people in the tags of that post i made earlier are talking about masking and although obviously masking is a very real thing a lot of autistic people have to do to get through their day, i think framing any and all attempts to meet other people where they're at interpersonally as masking is pretty unhelpful and has some bad implications.
if we say that caring about other peoples preferences for how they want to be treated or spoken to or thinking of social interaction as more than just a potential opportunity to info dump count as "masking", then we're essentially presenting a version of reality where autistic people are innately self centered and any effort that is put in to not be that way is Hiding part of yourself or otherwise inauthentic. but i don't think that's true at all.
and importantly it's not like The Neurotypicals get to act exactly like they want with no consequences in social interactions either! everyone has to put the effort in to treat each other decently. there is no person on the planet who can just speak to everyone around them exactly as they're inclined to with no consideration or effort and end up with a bunch of healthy mutually fulfilling interpersonal relationships that way. everyone needs to put the work in. its just harder for some than others.
