Day 10
Bee here,
Another hard day...we talked today like nothing has happened or changed. He talked to me like we were still in relationship and it felt so nice and so good. But I understand that this is all a front from him. This is the way that I should of felt all the time when we were together not just when you felt like being nice to me. He said that he wanted to stay friends after everything that he as put me through mentally and emotionally. I can’t tell if this is some kind of front or what kind of manpiulation that is happening but I am so scared of what is too come if I stay in the same apartment of with him any longer. I may start to feel obligated to be with him and sleep with him even though we are no longer together. I almost gave in...I miss his smell and the way that he would hold me when he gave me a hug or the way his lips felt against mine. But I know that it can’t be this way anymore. My signs are showing up that I need to move out and move on with my life. But I just feellll so stuck in the moment that I truly do not want to let go but this is what is best for me and my mental health.