#lordandgodoftheobvious

[incorrectdraculaquotes]

dracula: *psychically makes jonathan miss when trying to behead him in his coffin*

jonathan: How in the blood-soaked Eastern Orthodox hell did you do that???

dracula: Fuck you, that’s how.

[incorrectdraculaquotes]

one of the numerous children referred to exclusively as “it” in this novel: Papa, when can I have a gender?

their stern victorian father: When you’ve earned it.

[incorrectdraculaquotes]

van helsing: *just straight-up invents a couple new uses for communion wafers*

dracula: Okay, I know this is filthy rich coming from me…but your powers are bullshit!

[ask-dafuk]

The only spoiler in Detective Pony is di-stri's name.

And a bunch of theming. But it’s irrelevant, as she’s only reading fanfic after she finishes the comic.

[ask-dafuk]

(1/3) You're misunderstanding some things. None of the alpha kids are related to each other--Mom and Bro are Rose and Dave's biological parents while Jane and Jake are John and Jade's. The alpha kids are paradox clones of themselves created by John in the beta session. The alpha kids' timeline split off when the beta kids scratched, causing the meteors carrying them to arrive at different points in time (and also...well I won't say because of spoilers).

All true, but not formally explained in-comic yet.

[incorrectdraculaquotes]

Jack: And you’re…handling this well?

Vampire Lucy: I’m fine.

Jack: No intrusive thoughts about killing everyone in this room and drinking our blood?

Vampire Lucy: Yes, but that’s normal for me.

[incorrectdraculaquotes]

Bride 1: Let’s build a moat. I can be the crocodile!

Bride 2: You always say you’ll be the crocodile but you never commit.

[incorrectdraculaquotes]

Van Helsing: (on an early telephone) It’s Van Helsing.

Jack: What did he do this time?

Van Helsing: No, it’s me, Van Helsing.

Jack: What did you do this time?