#losefriends

[patchgame]

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[enitensida]

Já parou pra pensar que quando tu perde um amigo, as lembranças boas ao lado dele não se perdem? Ou seja, é como se tu ainda tivesse o amigo guardado num pedacinho do coração. O mais triste é quando cai a ficha, que talvez tu só tenha as lembranças, porque não terá o amigo do teu lado, pra criar novas lembranças.

[lormadtor]

A year and a half year later and I’m still not even sorry

[claysorrick7-blog]

#losefriends #loserelationships #losefamilies #wednesday #september (at Georgia)

[mrsretrobee]

Alienating people and cutting out the crap

Alienating people

By Bonita Bennett

  The last few years have been somewhat inspiring and eventful for me. I have learnt so much about myself and of others. Of people I grew up with and people I spent years knowing, sadly most of them ended up being nothing but strangers to me at the end.

  I sometimes ask myself if any of the so called ‘best friends’ I had in my life have ever actually been my best friends. I made a short list of some of the ‘BFF’s’ and the reasons why I ended up not being friends with them anymore. Hopefully, by the end of this article I would have figured out if it is I that has an issue or I have just been unlucky.  Names have not been used – I would like to avoid any unnecessary contact with any of these people. Hence, I have used alphabets instead.

  A She was my friend since kindergarten and we spent every moment together, much like conjoined twins! At high school, I was the student that everyone wanted to be friends with; I was fearless, protective of my friends in times of trouble and always ready to help. I was a girl of few words though; I only spoke when I needed to. I guess that is one of the reasons why people enjoyed talking to me as I enjoyed listening to them.

I helped ‘A’ be a part of the ‘cool’ crowd and that seemed to make her very happy as expected. Until such a time that she found someone else she wanted to spend time with and be against me instead of being with me like we did as kids. It got to a point where her new ‘BFF’ got her to bully me. Luckily, I didn’t let my emotions get the better of me and stood up for myself. After that, my family moved and that put an end to our friendship. I never bothered to make contact with her ever again.

    B Another friend from my childhood, one I shared a lot of my dark secrets with. Well, I had a crush on her at that time and she was my friend from Sunday School So as you can imagine, that did not go down well with her and we slowly drifted apart. She was a good friend and I am not sure why I put her on this list. Well, now that I have, I am not taking her off it. She is probably one of the very few people I tried to get in touch with. When I say I tried, I mean I thought about it. I did not actually do it for one reason or the other. I guess it is probably because we have been through and seen things we would never like to be reminded of ever again.

    C & D

Well these so called ‘BFF’s’ were nothing but jealous bitches! In fact, I met two girls who ended being my best friends  - they lived miles apart from each other and never knew each other but they sure did act the same! I changed schools a lot so I could easily spend a couple of years in one place and move onto the next shortly after.

  ‘C’ was very competitive and so was ‘D’. I kept good grades, had many friends and parents who gave me the freedom to be whoever I wanted to be. As long as I did not cross some of the very obvious boundaries like getting knocked up. C and D did not have the freedom I had and that was something they both found hard to deal with. Eventually, both started spreading rumours about me that made my life unbearable and that of my family too.

  So I decided it was time to move on. I confronted D and when she finally realised what she had done, it was too late. Whereas C, I met her a few years later and even though she had hurt me, it left no marks on my soul. On the other hand, it pushed me to be better. I met her by accident in town and we chatted for a brief few seconds before I reminded her of the things she had done and how I still ended up being way better as a person than she could ever be. She was still that person. I know, that was a bit harsh but I was in my teens then and it felt so very good to set the score straight and publicly embarrass her. Now I realise it wasn’t a very nice thing to do…

    E

It took me a very long time to trust someone again. When I finally did, she was a good friend to me, at least at first. I was there when she struggled through some very tough times and gave her hope and strength. She got through her problems and blossomed on the other side. I was there to hold her hands during the good and the bad. We started seeing less of each other after a couple of years as we worked and lived miles apart. I introduced another friend of mine to ‘E’ and they spoke the same language. Which meant, it brought them closer and drifted me away. Well, seriously, what do you expect? How does one sit in a three way conversation when one does not understand what is being said? It wasn’t always like that, but when it was, it was uncomfortable for me. As a human being, I was never sure if they are saying things about me or not. That led to me doubting and worrying and eventually me cutting off contact.

    F This was one of the best and the worst of my ‘BFF’S’. I helped her from more troubles then I can care to remember, I was there for her. We were similar and quite different in many ways. It was nice to have someone to go to places with and experience things I enjoyed – although, not something I would like to do on a daily basis. This was something she liked to do on a daily basis. Even though we had our differences, I felt I needed to put them aside. She was alone in this place and I felt like I needed to be there for her. Even if it meant doing things I wasn’t happy to do. I realised how stupid I was then very recently.

  She somehow manipulated me into letting go of my other friends because they do not get along with her or she thinks they are wrong for me. I stupidly let it all happen and lost friends who understood me the most. It felt like a bad breakup when I eventually cut her out of my life. However, at the same time, it felt as if I had let go of the biggest weight on my shoulders. I was free and happy! It didn’t happen over night, but it did.

    I seemed to have done the same with some of my family members. When I cannot take it anymore, I try to explain to them the reason and how they can change to make life easier and peaceful for everyone. Well, not everyone listens.

  In reality, no one wants to be told what to do, whenever someone does tell you what to do, it is in our human nature to completely ignore it or go against it. This is the very reason why I free myself from the pain and suffering some of these people bring in my life. Friends or family, they get the same treatment. I do try harder when it comes to family and they are at the end of the end, blood related to me. Even then, it changes nothing and yet everything. I think the only issue I have here is that the older I get the less I want to be with people that don’t make me happy or I don’t make them happy.  Why should I or anyone else for that matter live an unhappy life?

  Sometimes I wonder if I am the horrible person here. Is it really wrong to stand up for yourself, to throw away the trash and to have the least amount of dramas in your life? Life is indeed short and I would like to live it happily doing the things I want to do and being with the people I want to be with.  I have had to do it so many times in my life, I can easily write a step-by-step guide to alienating people.

      ********************************************************************************

[ifeelubro]

 This year has pretty much been, a　 lose friends and alienate people year