#losingmemories

[sleepysalmon]

Does anything matter when you’ve forgotten? 🤨 _ #losingmemories #lostmybrain #amnesia #throwback #emptybuckets #苗栗 #台湾 #名宿 #toytravels #toysagram #toysofinstagram #lifemusings https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsnyt0vl4-Y/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=i7ken8w8btxa

[originalmemorieshere]

Losing Memories

Losing Memories If you know me at all, you know that I am the Queen of Trivial Knowledge. That doesn’t mean that I know a lot of trivia and could win a game show. It means when anyone talks to me about any average subject, I probably know a little about it- or some obscure fact about it. I don’t know how I know it, but I do. Of course, I do read a lot and I listen a lot. I learn a lot by letting other people talk and I learn to pick up on the important things, weeding out the unnecessary information. I am a walking encyclopedia of worthless information. And, I never forget numbers. If anything is ever told to me involving numbers, I can remember it. Old phone numbers, years, addresses, and statistics. I keep that knowledge.  Now that we know what I can and do retain, I want you to know I have a fear. A big fear I have is that I will lose my memories- not talking about losing my memory. I have already started forgetting some things on a daily basis here and there. That began when I was in my twenties and it will continue to happen. You know- sunglasses on top of the head, running around the house looking for them. Looking for my cell phone so I can leave the house, all the while on the phone talking on it, telling someone I can’t find it. Yeah, memory loss. But, actually I attribute that more to being distracted because I am always multitasking.   Of course some of our memories aren’t good, but time has a way of removing the physical pain from them and dulling the emotional pain for most of them. If the physical pain lingered in our memories women would only have one child, skateboarders would face plant only once, and we would be a world of quitters. Then again, would we even call ourselves quitters if we didn’t know the difference? Emotional pain can be worked through and it eventually can make us stronger whether we believe it or not. I have only had my heart broken once and I thought it would never heal at the time. But, as with all things (there are sayings that aren’t just clichés), this too, did pass. But, it took those memories, both the good and the bad to get me to where I am today. It did help me to move on. I guess it does with everyone. If it didn’t, why would Texas allow an individual person to be allowed to be married in the State of Texas SIX times? Yes, you can be married more times than that, but Texas limits one to six times within the state. Wanna get married more times than that you have to go to another state. So, we all must be able to get over the emotional pain from heartbreaks. I didn’t have the monopoly on it.  But, the memories I am so worried about losing involve family. I don’t want to forget my memories of my brothers and sister.  I am scared that one day I may not remember running around barefoot in the yard as a kid on the farm. We climbed the apple trees, ran through the cow paths, jumped off the barn into the fresh turned soil, picked so many green beans that I wouldn’t eat them for years. We had Sally the Sow, Wooly Bully, and our driveway was way off the road. It was over a quarter mile for us to walk to the bus stop on the dirt road to wait for the bus to take us nine miles to school. The high school girls sat in the back and sang stuff like- “Come on down to my boat, baby. Come on down where we can play.” and I would be sitting up in the front with the little kids singing along, feeling so BIG. I never want to lose those kind of memories. How could I ever lose the memories of mood rings; losing mine down the defrost vent in my boyfriend’s truck (later my first husband)?  He was trying to prove any kind of heat would make the colors change. Never found out the answer to that one. I had just gotten it for Christmas and my stepmom was livid when she found out it was gone. I actually owned a pet rock, went braless with halter tops and hip huggers in the seventies, and since I was grown up I have had a body piercing and have a tattoo on my left shoulder (piercing has since grown shut and can’t see tattoo without mirror). Will I remember all these things when I am old? I had both my kids naturally- no medication, no epidural, nothing. Will I remember that I was in labor for thirty-nine hours with my son? My daughter was less than two hours? Will I remember them when I get old? How about all the fun times we had as they grew up and all the hours we spent together in the car on trips? Even as it is now they will remind me of stuff that happened when they were little and I have to stand there and look at them like they have five heads! What? That happened? And, I’m not even talking about the things they did that I didn’t find out about- I am talking about what happened when I was there up close and personal.  Not too long back I sat down and wrote out a timeline of all the places I have lived. It was hard. Granted, I have probably moved more often than most people, but thank God I could do it by using dates. That was my saving grace- numbers. I have been on vacations and kept journals along with the photos I took. When I look back, I am surprised that I still remember I did all the things I did. Man, I don’t know- but I have had an exciting life up to this point. I hope I can retain these memories, but if not, at least I do have the photos.

[the2nddrummer]

Change?

Is change really a bad thing? Every moment changes from the last, so why is it hard to let people or even life change? Do we get stuck in this idea that time stops and we will never grow old? Are we scared of letting go or the outcome? Are we afraid of losing memories or time?