"LOSING ROUTINE”// the backstory.
this was a song i didn’t think i would want to repost as it was one of my old demos i thought i would leave buried. and then i pressed play on it again and thought, huh..! not that bad.. as much as this song sounds like a relationship-is-over song, for me it actually was a friendship-is-over song. friendship breakups can be as hard if not harder than the romantic kind especially since we don’t talk about them as much and as such there are less remedies for them. i think what makes them harder is that we don’t ever see it coming. we know we could break up with bfs, gfs, hubs and wubs really but friendships? our vulnerability isn’t as obviously on the line and maybe that’s why these breakups can spike us so deeply. and this one was mine. me. holding onto something that wasn’t being held onto on the other end. fixing something with sorrys that at some point i couldn’t add another. and slowly, very slowly, seeing what the cracks really meant. and that they were needed.