#lost gaze

[hypnotistchilean]

Her last feminist breath ✨

Now she's a brainwashed doll. Wanna bet?

[missbutterfingers]

Stare, look, gaze or what have you

I come across this "new" guy. He isn't basically new, since I've seen him around for a year. Lately, our path seems to cross more often than it used to. 

We are of the same college, same course and may be the same interest. I've heard that he's quite a debater. I think he is fairly handsome and quite a charmer. Though his type are the ones who do not usually flatter me. 

No one really knows that I'm beginning to take quite a notice of him, and why wouldn't I? Would you ignore someone who looks at you every now and then? Of course not. Though some of my friends got some good guesses. I've been holding back that info. It feels crazy actually, having to keep it in. But I believe it's for my own sake too. Besides, I don't know what to make of it.

I don't know if it is just me, or its really actually happening. Studying in a fairly tiny campus, we would walk pass each other, usually not taking in the other. Not really catching each others eyes. Everything was just so normal, until one day, he turned his eyes on me, literally. At first, it didn't really bother me. However, it has been happening quite often. From time to time, I would feel like someone is watching me and when I get that sensation, I'd instantly see him looking at me point-blankly, then he'd suddenly turn away- trying to be oblivious I think.

It feels like, he looks at me by instinct. Just like the other day, I walked passed him on my way to my classroom at the fourth floor. At first, I thought he wouldn't recognize me or something since he was quite busy discussing something with his classmates, so I didn't dare to look at him. but when I was at the top landing, I felt the sensation again, and saw him looking at me though he was still talking with his pals. It's quite chilly actually. Like a cold stare. But why does he have to give me that look? It's like a lost gaze. His eyes seems lost when he looks at me and I can't really decipher what he's thinking. 

I don't really know why he does that, but I'll keep my eyes open, but hidden. Maybe, this will just come to pass.