☱
11.16.2014.
Dear journal,
I have no idea what is going on anymore. My mind is a complete mess. Bambam showed up and told me that he had feelings for me, in that kind of way. I never thought he would, I’ve always thought he hated me. He probably hates me now, though. He said that I couldn’t give him what he needs. My head hurts, I can’t think. This fever, when will it go away?
- Bbom.—————
11.20.2014.
Dear journal,
I guess one of the rare few good things in my life these days is that I’m fully recovered from my cold, that means, my head is clear. That also means, my brain likes to play tricks on me. I guess I lost two people at once, and the pain is too much to bear. Momo and Jackson told me that I need to stop blaming myself for everything that happened, but I couldn’t help it.
I know that things happen for a reason, people come and go, but I keep having all these “what ifs” inside my head. I know they don’t help, though. What if I paid a little more attention to him, what if I was softer, what if I was able to show my feelings for him better. But then would they change anything, I wonder. I really don’t have an answer. I just hope he is safe, and happy. I hope someone out there is making him happy.
- Bbom.
