written 5.29.19
hi. where are you?
i hope you’re okay.
on the off-chance that you exist, i just want you to know that when we meet, i’ll be your best friend.
i'll watch all your favorite movies and shows with you, even if they might not be my cup of tea. i'll bring you your favorite food when you're sad. i'll accompany you to random places, from disneyland to the nearest grocery store. we can send each other cute texts, play board games, and talk on the phone until we fall asleep. you can talk to me about anything and everything.
i would also like to apologize in advance. i can get annoying, emotional, and over-the-top. i might actually smother you with affection. based on personal observations, i’m not hard to love (hence the number of friends you’ll be introduced to). but although i’m not hard to love, i’m exhausting to love. time and time again, the boys i fell for grew weary of trying to understand me. i know i can be too much at times, but please don’t give up on me.
i’m still longing for the feeling of someone never getting tired of choosing me. i hope i can find that peace in you. i promise that once you’re here, i’ll take care of you. it’ll be my way of repaying you for all the patience, though i’m aware it won’t be enough.
you deserve to be taken care of and loved, just like anyone else. while i’m imperfect, i will try my hardest to become better than i am now and love you in the best way i know how.
can you promise me that through thick and thin, it’ll be you and me?
i honestly can’t wait to see you. i haven’t met you and i already love you.
because i know that you will be one of God’s best gifts to me.
- letter to my future boyfriend (inspired by lou yanong)
