#louis ryan

[huntsvillegossip]

Hello, hello my little lovelies,

So much to catch up on these days! Everyone all at once seemed to have some type of news to share with me. 

You all know being on the ice is meant to keep us all cool and level-headed, right? There were so many punches thrown at the ice skating event, not just once, not even twice, but three whole times. Eagan Connolly punched Huntsville Daily’s very own Samuel Ahn over what was reportedly, and unsurprisingly, something to do with that missing brother of hers again. If she keeps that attitude up no one is going to be willing to assist her. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, sweetheart. 

Seeming to take a cue from her is that wildchild from the Westfall family, Esther Westfall, who is just as short tempered as ever. They were seen punching one Eldon Harcourt, though he seemed to take it decently well, and didn’t engage into a full brawl. The same can’t be said for Joey Albright who fully attacked Louis Ryan and had to be pulled off him. Not exactly the behavior you’d expect from everyone’s favorite heartthrob but it seems love makes fools of us all. Let’s just hope that Hope Macgillivray is worth it. 

However, not everyone at the ice skating party was quick to come to blows. It seems that there are at least some of you who would rather make love than war. Jackson Miller was spotted getting cozy with Lavender Parsons, ending in what was apparently quite the steamy kiss, if my sources are to be believed. Now I know that some readers may be scandalized by this news, but I for one think it is wonderful that after everything she went through with her mother’s disappearance last year, Miss Parsons seems to be coming into her own as a young woman. All I can say is, be careful out there, men of Huntsville! There’s a new heartbreaker on the rise.

Here’s a toast to one town event being mostly a success with no serious incidents. Hopefully this is the start of a new and lighter year for all of us. 

Love,

Auntie G

That older ranger guy is like, always at the bar. Smells like a bar too. Really harshes the vibe, you know? - Day Drinker

I've been seeing Amber Ryan and Noah Kasprak head off to his place a lot lately. I wonder how her siblings feel about her sleeping around with her co-worker. Seems pretty irresponsible to me considering the family's history. - Anon (25F)

So I was minding my business, when I heard Marisol de la Luna was holding some guy’s tarantula? Is that a new euphemism the kids are using or what? Here’s hoping history doesn’t repeat itself or she’ll end up like her mom did senior year. - Think of the Children

Geez, never a dull day with the Romeros. Heard another one of Hawk’s kids came popping out of the woods. Sora Griffon? At this rate, he’s gonna have a whole flock of ‘em. Hope his new hubby is ready to play Brady Bunch. - Town Bird Watcher

Nico Garcia has been going around saying he’s going to be a dad? I wonder who he knocked up. Could be half the town from the way he’s been getting around. I heard that within the past couple months he’s been hooking up with Val Moreno, Kirby, Nadine Briggs, Jessie Sinclair, Wren Romero, Cole Cerulli, Jovi DiCamillo, and Tatum Hampton, to name just a few! - Anon (33M)

[huntsvillegossip]

Hello Lovelies!

Now Ren Faire has been over for quite some time, but it seems plenty of our folks didn’t quite get the memo. I have received reports of multiple fights breaking out all over town, some physical and others verbal, and there’s been more than a fair share of heartbreak.

Allegedly famous in the outside world, Liam Jefferson and Hunter Hilton had a full on brawl ending in the pair being physically ripped from each other by concerned citizens. From the looks of it, it seems as though Mr. Hilton was turned down by Mr. Jefferson and was not taking the rejection well. It's not surprising that Mr. Jefferson has better things to do considering that he is a new father of two. Really, Mr. Hilton should dust himself off—just because one boy rejects you doesn't mean you need to rush back into the closet. 

You especially don't need to be yelling from the rooftops that you have a girlfriend. Quite the rebound from the looks of it, though I find it hard to believe Miss Valeria Moreno is settling down. That is one girl who has never been afraid to let the world know she is available for anything casual. Word on the street is that she has quite the extensive roster of hookups collected from our town. Her own roommate Saffron Aubert is reportedly much more than a roommate, which I have to give them credit for, is convenient considering the close proximity. She has also been spotted kissing fellow rangers Marcus Zhao and Cain Barlowe, is not afraid to get a little risque and exhibitionist with our resident fighter Kane Bentley, and has been more than a bit handsy in public with one Guillermo Reyes, who is his own can of worms when it comes to relationships. That boy has never been the particularly loyal type if his track record is to be believed. Good luck to his so-called partner, since Mr. Reyes is clearly not nearly as put together as his eldest sister.

But I digress, no need to name every single one of her bedroom companions, after all. Honestly, Mr. Hilton, if you want to show you're not truly hurt by Mr. Jefferson's rejection, there are much more believable girls to say are your girlfriend if you really must carry on this way. I hear that Jessica Sinclair is single and recently heartbroken by a handsome firefighter who is quite the town disaster. Poor thing. 

Speaking of, what to say about someone like Nathanial Dawson? You'd think that with his son in town, he'd clean up his act, or at the very least that his captains would be able to keep a better handle on him. And yet he's been frequently spotted at the bar, more than a few drinks in, most notably with [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. 

He has also been seen with one of our elementary school teachers, Mr. Edgar Wayne. Something about sharing a pair of orange pants? I’ll be honest, I may be a bit past my prime when it comes to understanding all these new euphemisms. Still, someone may want to inform Principal Yvette Alson about this, since I doubt she wants to see her best friend dragged down to Mr. Dawson's rock bottom. Mr. Wayne may wish to reconsider this friendship for the sake of maintaining some sense of professionalism. I already have reports of parents being very concerned about someone with his associations teaching their children. You are an example for the youth of this town, sir. 

I do hope the Fire Station Captains can help Mr. Dawson get the help he seems to desperately need. But on the subject of one of those captains, there has recently been a lot of chatter about him thanks to one Zoë Clark, who seems to be quite the busy bee as of late—though whether that's because she has some type of personal vendetta against our Mayor is anyone's guess. Multiple people have verified she is causing quite a stir with talks of having an election. Now I won't say how I feel about that, in the spirit of keeping this column a neutral, third party space, but I can confirm that she has pitched Fire Captain Phoenix Romero-Sawyer and Louis Ryan as suitable replacements.

Whether others will agree with this assessment, or might even throw their own name into the ring, remains to be seen. Personally, I do think either of these two members of founding families would make fine mayors, and with their long standing ties to the town, you know that they'd look out for everyone. Then again, Mayor Nat has done a tremendous job for over a decade, and some might not wish to fix what isn't broken.

Finally, a serious note of warning. There is a new resident in our town who has been seen physically assaulting another citizen. I would tread very carefully with those you interact with in the coming days—especially strangers. Seems some people are wound too tight and you never know who's going to blow up. 

That's all I have for you today, because I am running out of printing space even though I have a few things left in my little inbox. At least it gives you all something to look forward to—other than the upcoming Pumpkin Festival of course!

Love, Auntie G.

[michaelwwaah]

The story I [L Ryan] want to end on was told by an ex-psychiatric nurse….She described an incident that happened while she worked in the Dublin Psychiatric Hospital, Grangegorman, where Ivor also worked.

A female patient was undergoing a particularly severe psychotic episode. The nurses were quite distressed and called for immediate medical assistance. Presently, they saw a white coat approaching. The doctor considered the situation calmly and, reaching into his coat, he drew out not a syringe but a tin whistle.

He stood there and proceeded to play a few lively jigs and reels, tapping his foot. Before long the patient ceased her rant and lined up with the nurses to examine this strange specimen of a doctor.

She looked at the others and before going calmly on her way said, “I think that fellow is a bit mad!” It was, of course, none other than the bold Ivor Browne, author of Music and Madness.

From https://louisryan.substack.com/ c/o https://substack.com/@tedgioia

Ted Gioia | Substack

Ted Gioia is author of The Honest Broker on Substack (https://www.honest-broker.com)—a frank and opinionated guide to music, books, media, a

[samccarty]