Hello Lovelies!
Now Ren Faire has been over for quite some time, but it seems plenty of our folks didn’t quite get the memo. I have received reports of multiple fights breaking out all over town, some physical and others verbal, and there’s been more than a fair share of heartbreak.
Allegedly famous in the outside world, Liam Jefferson and Hunter Hilton had a full on brawl ending in the pair being physically ripped from each other by concerned citizens. From the looks of it, it seems as though Mr. Hilton was turned down by Mr. Jefferson and was not taking the rejection well. It's not surprising that Mr. Jefferson has better things to do considering that he is a new father of two. Really, Mr. Hilton should dust himself off—just because one boy rejects you doesn't mean you need to rush back into the closet.
You especially don't need to be yelling from the rooftops that you have a girlfriend. Quite the rebound from the looks of it, though I find it hard to believe Miss Valeria Moreno is settling down. That is one girl who has never been afraid to let the world know she is available for anything casual. Word on the street is that she has quite the extensive roster of hookups collected from our town. Her own roommate Saffron Aubert is reportedly much more than a roommate, which I have to give them credit for, is convenient considering the close proximity. She has also been spotted kissing fellow rangers Marcus Zhao and Cain Barlowe, is not afraid to get a little risque and exhibitionist with our resident fighter Kane Bentley, and has been more than a bit handsy in public with one Guillermo Reyes, who is his own can of worms when it comes to relationships. That boy has never been the particularly loyal type if his track record is to be believed. Good luck to his so-called partner, since Mr. Reyes is clearly not nearly as put together as his eldest sister.
But I digress, no need to name every single one of her bedroom companions, after all. Honestly, Mr. Hilton, if you want to show you're not truly hurt by Mr. Jefferson's rejection, there are much more believable girls to say are your girlfriend if you really must carry on this way. I hear that Jessica Sinclair is single and recently heartbroken by a handsome firefighter who is quite the town disaster. Poor thing.
Speaking of, what to say about someone like Nathanial Dawson? You'd think that with his son in town, he'd clean up his act, or at the very least that his captains would be able to keep a better handle on him. And yet he's been frequently spotted at the bar, more than a few drinks in, most notably with [REDACTED] and [REDACTED].
He has also been seen with one of our elementary school teachers, Mr. Edgar Wayne. Something about sharing a pair of orange pants? I’ll be honest, I may be a bit past my prime when it comes to understanding all these new euphemisms. Still, someone may want to inform Principal Yvette Alson about this, since I doubt she wants to see her best friend dragged down to Mr. Dawson's rock bottom. Mr. Wayne may wish to reconsider this friendship for the sake of maintaining some sense of professionalism. I already have reports of parents being very concerned about someone with his associations teaching their children. You are an example for the youth of this town, sir.
I do hope the Fire Station Captains can help Mr. Dawson get the help he seems to desperately need. But on the subject of one of those captains, there has recently been a lot of chatter about him thanks to one Zoë Clark, who seems to be quite the busy bee as of late—though whether that's because she has some type of personal vendetta against our Mayor is anyone's guess. Multiple people have verified she is causing quite a stir with talks of having an election. Now I won't say how I feel about that, in the spirit of keeping this column a neutral, third party space, but I can confirm that she has pitched Fire Captain Phoenix Romero-Sawyer and Louis Ryan as suitable replacements.
Whether others will agree with this assessment, or might even throw their own name into the ring, remains to be seen. Personally, I do think either of these two members of founding families would make fine mayors, and with their long standing ties to the town, you know that they'd look out for everyone. Then again, Mayor Nat has done a tremendous job for over a decade, and some might not wish to fix what isn't broken.
Finally, a serious note of warning. There is a new resident in our town who has been seen physically assaulting another citizen. I would tread very carefully with those you interact with in the coming days—especially strangers. Seems some people are wound too tight and you never know who's going to blow up.
That's all I have for you today, because I am running out of printing space even though I have a few things left in my little inbox. At least it gives you all something to look forward to—other than the upcoming Pumpkin Festival of course!
Love, Auntie G.