I just saw you're still not over Crowley's death and I wanted to say, me neither. It was pointless and stupid and cruel and I miss him so very, very much. You're not alone <3
The thing is, I see what they were going for. He was in love, it was unrequited, he had nothing to live for without that, so he killed himself for The Cause. Unfortunately, that storytelling trope is so ten years ago and we’re not so willing to buy it as we were back then.
They teased us with Crowley voluntarily offering to close the gates of Hell so he could hang out topside with the Winchesters without any other demons. I would have loved that. What I wouldn’t give for a Crowley who chose to become human again so he could truly feel, and then had to learn how to be a decent person because that was the only way to get Sam, Dean, and Cas to like him. Give me a Crowley struggling with being human, learning to hunt like Cas did, maybe manning the research station in the library, becoming a proper Man of Letters to help the Winchesters. Show me a demon who turned over a new leaf to become a better man than he was in life.
And yes, I know, Crowley was easily a better person than Fergus was, but he only ever got halfway there. There was a whole other half to that journey and it was cut short because someone felt the need for a tragic love triangle. Yes, we know, Dean likes Cas better. Crowley figured that out too, which is why his song in 12x12 was Not For Me. He knew that ship had sailed and accepted it.
Someone needs to tell the writers that friendship can be rewarding too. Crowley just wanted someone to give a damn about him. That’s what kills me most about his death. He died feeling unwanted. His mother didn’t love him, his son died, Cas wouldn’t even thank Crowley for saving his life, Sam never liked him, and Dean… Dean was his one actual friend, but because of that asinine drawn out Lucifer thing in the second half of the season, Dean was angry with Crowley (rightfully so, but I still blame Dabb and Buckleming for that), so Crowley died feeling utterly alone.
So no, I’m not over Crowley’s death. It was a cheap way to put him in the show’s good books and he should have had the chance to earn his way there without dying. “Bad guys” so often can only be redeemed in death, but Crowley was never a true villain. He existed in shades of grey, and I think the worst thing is that he didn’t realize which side he truly belonged on until it was too late.
