Title: Structural Integrity
Series: Skip Beat
Pairing: Ren/Kyoko
Summary: A fictional character drives a wedge between Ren’s and Kyoko’s working relationship. An in-depth exploration of Box R’s (in)famous character, Natsu.
Notes: My contribution to the Skip Beat Secret Santa 2014; this is for love-me-section. I’m so sorry that it took me so long to post it, but I kept re-writing it over and over! DX It’s not properly beta-ed and there are probably mistakes, but I hope you enjoy it! =)
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In all the years that Amamiya Chiori has been in the entertainment business, this was a scene that she never quite expected to witness: heavy footsteps clacking against the polished floors, everyone agape (including herself) as Tsuruga Ren walked out of the conference room with a blank look (verging on murderous, quite honestly) on his face, his manager sending troubled (on second thought, more like panicked) glances toward his charge, and Kyoko locked in her signature dogeza pose behind them until they finally reached the exit and left the production set.
For a moment, there was only silence amongst all those present, with the extras still mesmerized at seeing the number one actor in Japan walk past them.
The director was nowhere to be seen, but presumably he was still inside the room where the meeting had been, agonizing over the details of the final contract, if there was something that was agreed upon.
Chiori turned her head, and looked on as Kyoko finally stood up, a wistful sigh escaping her lips and her eyes lingering on the doorway. She caught Chiori’s glance and letting out a small smile, gave a small wave, then walked away to go to the dressing room and change out of Natsu’s clothes.
‘From the look of things, that’s probably not the case,’ she thought.
With an episode airing once a week over the past couple of months, the ratings haven’t exactly been sterling for Box R; the general audience thought that the story pacing was too slow, the setting stereotypical, and although Natsu’s group of misfits, eventually becoming one of the highlights of the show for some of its dedicated fans, have made a deep impression, nobody could really say that it was the saving grace that might allow them to be renewed for a second season (the first season in and of itself will end on a satisfactory note, but she wouldn’t mind extending the story even further).
Despite getting a pretty decent time slot from TV Tokyo, they didn’t have much to show for it, as hard as it is for her to admit. Being part of the project, she’d been disappointed like everyone else with the not-so enthusiastic responses, but in watching her immortal butterfly perform, if there’s anything she’s learned, it’s that one should never give up, despite the obstacles. There would be more opportunities, more chances to shine; like anything else, she just has to bide her time until another golden opportunity crops up.
Chiori would also like to think that it’s simply the reality of the business; after all, they were going against the top dog dramas of the season, namely Dark Moon and Boku no Ita Jiken. And with one of those dramas being spearheaded by none other than Ogata Hiroaki (whom some say eclipses his famous father in terms of his directorial debut), it’s perfectly reasonable that Box R was just taking a while to catch up.
‘If we ever do,’ the cynical side of her snidely commented.
The situation being as it was, the “strategic” move to negotiate a deal to try and bring in Tsuruga Ren into the show for a potential second season was eventually put forth by the producers and reluctantly, by the director himself. The plan, as was disclosed to them by the higher ups, was that they wouldn’t keep him as part of the regular cast (just because his schedule wouldn’t allow it), but he would be considered a special guest—more specifically, as Natsu’s short-lived love interest.
She’d seen the draft of the new script put forth by the screenwriters, she’d even admit that the idea is somewhat intriguing, if not somewhat hard to imagine. It was, in many ways, an offer of a lifetime. No one in their right mind would refuse such a deal, even if it was to be a short-lived romance onscreen. No one.
And yet at the same time of course, no one would understand Natsu better than the lady actress who played her. Thus, the director, having placed his faith in Kyoko, decided to let her have the final say in the end. Unprecedented and unheard of, some would say due to her rookie status as an actress, but this wouldn’t be the first time that Kyoko has made an impact on the set due to her abilities.
By all accounts, it was a reasonable plan to procure a bigger audience and generate better ratings; that’s the power of having a big name to begin with.
But…seeing as how the plan just basically went down the toilet, Chiori can’t help but feel both disappointed and impressed. After all, it was one of the biggest and basic rules of show business: never reject an offer that allows you to take one (or more) step higher towards stardom.
But…knowing how her idol is—knowing how Kyoko is—she shouldn’t be surprised that her friend once again betrayed all expectations.
Glancing towards the dressing room, she stared impassively towards the extras that were still in their school costumes, shaking their heads and wagging their tongues in hushed whispers.
“What an idiot! How in the world could she pass up the chance to work with the Tsuruga Ren—“
“Just watch, her career will plummet soon enough—“
“If I had such an opportunity, I would never—“
Chiori shook her head, irritated at their callous comments (much as she’s trying to break the habit, she has a lot to write in her notebook tonight) and angry at herself for letting them get to her.
Logically speaking, they were right: it was a bad move for Kyoko’s career to reject working with someone who already had a strong foothold in the industry. But…having watched Kyoko perform and create her characters, she would never take a course of action without thinking things through carefully.
There has to be a reason why she (from the looks of it anyway) rejected the proposal to include Tsuruga Ren in Box R, there just has to be.
Chiori bit her lip and mentally pictured them both.
She’s watched episodes of Dark Moon previously, and having seen a variety of scenes where Mio and Katsuki interact, they do have good chemistry. They get along perfectly well off screen, and even she could see the sparks that are flying between them.
She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.
Why in the world would she—
“I’ll explain…in good time,” Kyoko suddenly said, her voice subdued without its usual cheer.
Chiori squeaked comically in surprise, one hand clutching her chest as she heard Kyoko’s voice from out of the blue. She took a step forward and glanced behind her, her heartbeat slowing back to its normal pace after her initial surprise.
Surrounding Kyoko was a massive purple miasma of depression, her familiar bag held tightly in one hand as she looked down, refusing to meet her eyes. She’s back in the customary LoveMe uniform, the bright pink seemingly brighter to the eyes than usual, probably due to the stark contrast with her current mood.
“Miss Kyoko…?”
“In good time, Miss Amamiya…I’ll explain, I promise. You’re a part of this drama too, so you deserve to know…err, actually, I wanted to talk with you somewhere private. It doesn’t have to be right at this moment, but maybe…umm…”
Kyoko looked up and gazed straight at her, those expressive amber eyes full of guilt and pleading.
Chiori felt her heart skip a beat. With such a look she’s directing at her, how in the world could she say no?
After a couple of seconds, she sighed in defeat.
She gave her friend a small smile and nodded graciously.
“Okay, we’ll talk. Anytime you’re ready, I’ll be here to—“
Those were all that she could say before she felt two slender arms in the long pink sleeves of the LoveMe uniform around her back, encompassing her in a tight bear hug. Kyoko held her friend to her tightly, and gushed out numerous words of appreciation.
‘Yup,’ Chiori thought as she quietly giggled right along with the chestnut-colored haired woman. ‘Why am I even surprised that she managed to surprise us all again?’
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About a week after the disastrous meeting on the set of Box R, Kyoko unfortunately ran into the one person she wasn’t yet ready to talk to.
“How long will you avoid me, Miss Mogami?” Ren asked calmly from behind her, his voice stern with a hint of disappointment. His arms were folded in front of his chest, and although she couldn’t see him, she could practically feel the scowl that now etched his handsome face. Hearing the deep baritone of his voice, Kyoko felt the hairs on her neck stand on end, her shoulders and back becoming stiff with tension.
She’d been dodging him for the past few days, just until she can come up with the proper words to explain her refusal (well, that had been the plan anyway). With the movie project over and finally shelving the Heel siblings forever, it was the perfect excuse not to see him for a little while.
It had been going pretty well too; she’s familiar enough with his schedule that she can fulfill her LoveMe duties while he’s not busy and have a legitimate excuse not to see him, and go back home to help out at the Darumaya while he had other jobs late into the night.
It had been a little too perfectly coordinated, hence why he figured it out quickly.
Kyoko held back a groan of self-reproach.
‘I’m so stupid! I shouldn’t have made myself so obvious!’ she internally screamed, fighting the urge to hit her head against the wall multiple times.
She turned around slowly, giving her mentor her brightest smile. She knows that it probably won’t fool him (she’s not that good of an actress yet), but it was worth a try.
“Avoiding you, Mr. Tsuruga…?” she repeated with forced innocence. “What do you mean?”
The meeting with the producers and director of Box R was awkward enough, but at least she also had Mr. Yashiro as a shield so she wouldn’t directly feel the unnerving stare (that eventually became glaring daggers) he sent towards her way when she voiced her objection in working with him.
But with no shield in sight right now, his eyes fell solely on her. Kyoko felt naked, and she had to force herself to stand still and not cross her arms over her chest in defense, as if he could see right through her.
She may have finally admitted to herself that she was in love with him, but opening up to him was a different story.
A love scenario between the two of them…quite frankly, she will admit that she’d been somewhat excited about it at first. It was the perfect excuse, after all. She can express her love for him in the guise of a character, and no one, especially him, would be none the wiser.
Any girl in love would jump at the chance…and seeing as how he’s the most popular actor in Japan right now, a good majority of them probably would.
But…she was Kyoko…a girl who had once sworn off romantic love forever, only to fall back to its clutches again. Love, although an emotion she has started to embrace again has…altered her mentality in many ways. As someone who knew how it felt to be taken advantaged of by a person she’d cared about, it wouldn’t be right to do that to someone else, least of all to the person who stood before her now.
Suddenly, she felt self-conscious, as if afraid that he can peer into her head and know what she was thinking.
Noticing the silent tension between them, Kyoko felt her cheeks redden and quickly turned away.
‘Well, that’s one reason…’ she thought, as she fumbled in her head for what else to say to him. A big part of the humongous package of details and excuses as to why she rejected the chance to work with him in Box R actually, but not the only one (and certainly not the most important one, in the grand scheme of things).
And right now, she didn’t know how in the world to explain that other reason to him.
Ren only continued to look at her, his stance rigid, as if he was fighting something inside of himself. Seeing him refusing to back down and willing him to drop the subject, she felt her shoulders slump when he didn’t answer and shook her head wearily.
As frustrating as it is for her to admit it, she felt like she was being bullied somehow, but because she had been afraid to explain her side during the meeting, she couldn’t blame him either.
She sighed slowly, her hands slowly unclenching from the tightness in her chest that she hadn’t felt until now.
“All right…we’ll talk,” she said quietly, her voice restrained, her head dropping in assent. He nodded in agreement and motioned her to follow him to his private dressing room.
The entire walk was quiet, with only their footsteps echoing throughout the hallway. Both of them had nothing to say to each other for the moment, and while Kyoko felt nothing but dread and guilt inside, she didn’t know that Ren was in the grip of his latest heartbreak.
When Ren had first heard of the offer made by the producers of the show, he will admit (albeit embarrassingly) that he’d been…over the moon. His manager couldn’t quite believe it, but Ren was actually a fan of Box R, having found the story quite engaging (it’s not as over-the-top as other dramas these days). And of course, it goes without saying that although she doesn’t have the main role, the woman he’s in love with is in it (and plays the part of a gorgeous antagonist to boot).
It had been torture when he realized that the film shooting for Dark Moon was ending soon, as well as their stint as the Heel siblings. With the way their relationship is right now, much as he wanted to confess to her of his true feelings and everything else, he knows that she’s not ready for anything more, so he needed as many excuses as possible to see her. More than this, it was a wonderful chance to see her really shine; she was spectacular as Mio in Dark Moon, but her appearance in the drama had been somewhat limited.
He couldn’t be part of the regular show, but just getting the opportunity to work with Kyoko again was in and of itself a blessing. And the role would be as her love interest too…not as her brother or as her teacher, but as her love interest…they would be acting on equal terms as their characters; he’d felt like a man in the desert thirsting for water and having finally found an oasis for temporary respite.
So when it was time to meet and finalize the contract to make it happen, he was shocked more than anyone else that she objected to his participation in the drama. And as if to add insult to injury, she refused to say why she didn’t want to work with him!
Getting to know her these past few months, Ren knew that he shouldn’t get his hopes up, not right now…but to have witnessed her rejecting to work with him outright…it felt like a huge slap in the face, as if his love for her wasn’t worth a damn…as if he wasn’t worth shit to her. All of a sudden, the familiar feeling of rejection from his past came rushing back to him, and when the meeting was over, he’d stormed out as dignified and as quickly as he can.
He knew that he was overreacting…it’s not as if she’d just flung his feelings out of the way or even anything remotely close. Simply put, she just didn’t want a love interest in the drama. But being the love struck fool that he is, he took it personally and took it out on her.
He sighed in frustration, but immediately regretted it when he saw her wince out of the corner of his eye.
Just how low can he get…?
They went inside the dressing room, encouraging her to enter first and closed the door behind him afterwards.
“Please have a seat, Miss Mogami,” he said politely, giving her a small, gentle smile to make her feel at ease. He walked over to the couch and sat down, his hands entwined and resting on his knees. She blushed and murmured a thank you, choosing to sit directly across from him on another.
For a few agonizing seconds, there was nothing but silence between them once more before he finally chose to speak up.
“Won’t you tell me, Miss Mogami…?” he urged her gently, his expression genuinely hurt. Seeing this, Kyoko swallowed slowly and looked down at her feet, her face pained.
“Please look at me, Miss Mogami. Why didn’t you agree to work with me…?” His voice had a little bit more force into it, but ever the gentleman, he waited patiently until she was ready to answer.
“Because,” she started, pausing for a moment and taking a deep breath. “…Natsu is a princess who doesn’t need a man just so she can be redeemed.”
"Redeemed...?" Ren repeated slowly, his eyes widening in surprise. He wasn't expecting to hear anything like this. "What do you mean?" Kyoko sighed and scratched her head in irritation, not with him, but with her inability to say what needs to be said. If she was going to explain herself properly to this man, she has to do it with the conviction she felt when she'd first created Natsu...even if in her mind, it honestly sounded somewhat petty. Taking another deep breath, she looked at him squarely in the eye and began. "Everyone thinks that by experiencing what it's like to be in love and then having her heart broken, Natsu will somehow redeem herself and suddenly see the error of her ways. You've seen the script, right, Mr. Tsuruga? In the end, Aki breaks up with Natsu, because he couldn't take her cruelty towards the other students." "And you disagree with this?" "No, what I disagree with is how Natsu reacts to it afterwards," Kyoko answered, her voice leaving no room for argument. "No man or woman in their right mind could truly love Natsu because of her behavior towards her other classmates, unless they also got pleasure out of what she did. But on that same note, she is not the type of person to succumb to heartbreak just because she’s now faced with it." "Are you saying then that Natsu is incapable of love and anguish?" Ren asked. ‘Like how you see love to be treacherous...?' "Not that Natsu is incapable of any of those emotions, but rather...but rather she loves herself too much to truly get hurt by someone else rejecting her. She wouldn't fall apart…she wouldn’t beg to have him come back to her." Ren looked down, trying to take in everything she just said. "What I'm trying to say is..." She continued, her hands fisted on her lap. "The more I thought about the new script, the more it didn’t make sense, the entire idea of it. Natsu...wouldn't ever fall in love with anyone to begin with, least of all Aki's character. She loves herself enough that she doesn't need another person to show her what she’s worth. She herself knows that already. Loving another person for her would be…a waste of time."
Ren felt a painful ache in his chest and tried with all his might to mentally shake it off. The conversation was quickly starting to tread on dangerous ground, for which neither one was ready. They were talking about their characters being in love, he understood…he knew that, but… "That's not the only reason that a person would fall in love, Miss Mogami," he retorted quietly, enough so that Kyoko had to strain her ears at first to hear him.
It was her turn to flinch.
“You’re right…” Kyoko replied slowly after a momentary pause. “It’s not the only reason why two people could fall in love, but it’s the only reason that Natsu ever would.”
He studied her face, as if trying to read all the thoughts that were going through her head. Kyoko met his eyes with her own, refusing to back down.
“Why did you create Natsu as someone who could only love herself?” he asked, shaking his head subtly. “In her world, could she ever be happy, alone?”
“But that’s just it…” Kyoko muttered, assuredness underlining her tone. “It’s not a question of whether or not she’ll ever be happy…because she already is. Natsu is prideful and confident in everything that she does, I could even say too much to the point of arrogance. In having this confidence, she doesn’t need any man, or woman for that matter, to make her happy. The only way I could ever see her falling in love with someone is if she loses that…because it is her vanity that gives her the ability to hurt others... Her heartlessness is what defines her…this being the case, you and I both know that a love scenario is therefore…not possible.”
“’Not possible’…because you refuse to explore where the story might go with this, or…is there something else—“
Kyoko jerked her head towards, him, stunned at what he’s implied.
How dare he assume that—
“With all due respect, Mr. Tsuruga, I’ve always done my utmost to maintain the integrity of the characters I play, without getting my own feelings involved—“
“No—no… No, that’s not how I meant for it to sound…” He held up his hands, his defense ready at the tip of his tongue. But seeing her expression hurt at his accusation, Ren cursed himself for getting carried away and broke eye contact with her, his head low in shame. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, Miss Mogami. I was wrong, I—I spoke out of turn…that’s not what I…of course, as someone who cherishes the characters she created, you would never do them that dishonor. I’m…I’m sorry…”
Kyoko looked at him for a moment, before nodding in acceptance. The discussion itself loomed too closely over personal matters, and both parties felt as if they were on the edge of a precipice.
The awkwardness befell the room again, with only silence between them.
Afterwards, he spoke up again, trying one last time.
He sighed inwardly, suddenly feeling tired.
“…so that’s it? You won’t reconsider?” She couldn’t see his eyes, hidden as they were underneath his bangs. But she knew on an instinctive level that he was watching her, waiting for her to answer.
The clock ticking by the wall was the only sound that echoed throughout the room and after a few minutes of tension, Kyoko bit her lip and shook her head.
Ren swallowed the lump on his throat, and stood up, intending to exit out of the room and compose himself, but she stopped him in time.
“Mr. Tsuruga—“
“Are you the same way, Miss Mogami…?” he asked her all of a sudden, his hands fisted at his side, his voice devoid of emotion. “Could you ever only fall in love under impossible circumstances…?”
Her eyes widened and her mouth hung agape.
‘Huh…? W-what? Now he asks me this?!’ she thought frantically with righteous indignation. She had been so surprised by his question that at first, she didn’t know what to say to him. Staring hard at his retreating form, she sat back and crossed her arms and legs, willing her body to feel relaxed…readying herself.
She’s not entirely sure if this was the right way to go about doing this, but all she knew was that she refused to let him catch her off guard again.
Ren turned back just in time to catch a glimpse of her. The woman that sat before him now was incredible; no longer was she Kyoko, but a mix of Mio and Setsu. Her pose was oozing with sensuality and danger, but her face outlined a scowl, a far cry from his pretend sister’s sardonic smiles. Even in her LoveMe uniform, she created an alluring picture.
“Don’t think that Natsu and I are the same…” Kyoko said, her voice deepening to a more licentious tone. “Part of the reason why I wanted to become an actress was to regain the emotion I’ve lost. While I still have a long way to go, if there is someone out there that…pleases me, I’m not about to deny myself. Natsu seeing no need to fall in love with anyone is different compared to my own refusal to do so…right now. Don’t go confusing us around.”
At first, he was stunned speechless.
However, quickly catching on to how they will play out this last part of their conversation, Ren relaxed his stance and cocked one hip to the side, his mouth forming a lazy grin.
“I’m glad to hear it…” he responded, the smile never leaving his face. “I’ll be sure not to mix the two of you up in the future.”
“Good… Besides…” she started, standing up slowly and walking over to him. She was deliberately swaying her hips in a way that made him momentarily want to drop the act, but he maintained his persona of Katsuki/Cain perfectly. She touched his hand, and then ran the length of his arm until her fingertips were close to his collar, before lightly pulling on it. “I…wouldn’t want this one incident to prevent us from working together again in the future…”
“Of course not...” he assured her, touching her cheek with the back of his hand. “No harm, no foul…”
They stared at each other for a few agonizing seconds, both of them trying to size up the other through the guise of a perilous play.
Finally, one of them decided to make the first move.
Kyoko abruptly returned and coughing out a quick ‘ahem’, stepped away from him, her cheeks slightly flushed. She moved back towards her seat and sat up straight, her hands folded properly on her lap once more.
Bashfully, she gave him a small, relieved smile.
“So, Mr. Tsuruga…may we call this a truce…?”
She waited patiently, looking up at him with restrained hope. Before they can put this behind them, she wanted to know that everything would be all right between the two of them and this wouldn’t be a lingering issue.
His smirk melted away to a kind smile, and he looked at her fondly…how he loved this woman. No matter what, he could never stay bitter with her for too long, even if it’s at the cost of his heart.
Ah, well…
There was always a next time, after all.
“Yes, it’s a truce…Miss Mogami.”