#loveending

[lotushearts-blog]

Night after night, lying together but so careful not to touch. To not acknowledge that The Loving Days were gone: vanquished with the steel of those cold words. We both knew we could never come back from last night’s Knowledge. It was best if we just continue treading water in our cold existence.

[musingsofasinglelady]

Love Lost

As my current relationship is reaching it’s inevitable end, I am left to ponder what this love has taught me. I think it has only taught me one thing: I need to love myself despite my many flaws. No one person can do that for me and I need to do 100% of my saving. Love, as great as it might be, cannot do that for me. I think I gave our love (or maybe it was just my love) a fair shot to survive. I could sleep knowing that I did all that I could for it. Even though I knew deep down inside that it could never survive, I still tried. Granted maybe I was trying by myself and we all know that no love can survive that. He must have loved me too, right? I hope so. Even if he did, maybe it’s just not enough. I’ll always be thankful for our time. No matter how bitter it must taste now. He deserves better. I deserve better. The end. 

For our time, thank you S. It might not have ended how I would have liked it to, but I’ll always hold our precious memories with the gentlest of care. I will always wish for your happiness even if it doesn’t include me. 

[lotushearts-blog]

To my surprise, he went to work. But first he needed to walk past my shell, my ghost. To witness my unravelling. To hear the unearthly sounds of a wounded animal caught in a leg-hold trap.

[lotushearts-blog]

I was not prepared for how hard this was going to be. I spent so long convincing myself that I was overreacting about the state of our broken marriage, only to find my instincts were right and I was ignoring them to protect my heart.

[flyingdreamergirl]

[heart-spoken-words-blog]

No Regrets

I don't regret the attitude I gave you.

I don't regret the screen door I slammed.

I don't regret the words I said to you.

I only regret that I fell for you in the first place.

[babyfayj]

please don't do that, look I don't know where all this is coming from, if you're feeling lonely or guilty or whatever this is, but see I'm finally in a good place, I'm not angry with you or pining for you, I'm dating a lot and I'm just really good.

so whatever that was, don't ever do it again.

[devraismensonges-blog-blog]

Can't believe it happened

What happened between TheEx and Me. Well.. We broke up. To elaborate a bit, I've been with my ex for about 2 years on and off, although we spent 1 year together without breaking up we we’re still long distance ‘cause he went to another university in another city and i stayed here at my hometown, the career i wanted (Med School) is one of the best at my school so really didn’t see much point on going away without having a real plan nd basically put at risk my hole education. Anyway.. we were pretty happy actually this past year had been great, and for about 7 months the long distance didn’t bother to sneak in into our “eternal honeymoon” or that’s what we thought.

Anyway for the last 4 months things just went south, we staterd fighting, we almost didn’t talked, and he barely showed up on the weekends. At first we (or at least I) didn’t paid much atention to it, just figured we were both busy nd that our relationship was at a point that we could both have our lives and manage our time and priorites in a good way. Oh how wrong was I. 

When i finally realized we couldn’t,  i started talking to him nd making an effort basically goin’ out of my way to reconnect with him, i’d even gave up studying in some oportunities to spend time with him nd just try to fix what we left behind, our relationship. We had multiple discussions, we fought a lot, we screamed at each other and we still couldn’t quite achieve anything. so we had this long conversations over the phone, i ended up crying, some times he cried, and I was really thinking this was the end of our rope. 

He got out on summer vacations about a month ago, nd got here just pretending I would stop my life completely , shut down and just focus on spending every single sec of my life with him, ‘cause he had planned it that way. when i heard that plan i was immediately like “wooow, hold on buddy. I’ve worked damn hard to find new friends, to have a life, to pick up the pieces after you left, u cannot expect that i would do that again’.” and if he did then i would knew it was over. 

So the first few weeks roll by and things just didn’t got any better, i didn’t felt comfortable with him anymore, i didn’t wanted to just lay in his arms and stay there forever, i wanted to go out and be with my friends and just put an end to the drama, ‘cause not one day went by without him picking up a fight about something and me responding to it. that was when i just knew. 

We were over, we let it went to far let it get to bad and we couldn’t make it better now. I was crushed but i had to find a way to put and end to it before i lost my closest friend with it. Soo we had “The Talk” and decided to go our separate roads. Even thou he’s still on vacation for two more weeks and we’re still trying to get over the drama to become friends, i must admit i miss him, of course i Love him, he’s my true love. but we can’t be together right now so we are just left to wait for the future. 

I just still can’t believe I am calling you ex. ThnkU for the greatest 2 years of my love life. and for the 4 most amazing years of true friendship. I will love you forever.