Dear Tumblr, I just want something real and genuine with someone. No games please. I just want to be able to look at my future soul mate and know why it didn't work out with anybody else. I don't want to look up anymore videos upon videos and blogs as to what guys want, and what guys look for to try to fulfill this imagine of what a perfect woman is. I hate scrolling through YouTube and clicking on videos that are titled things like "How to make him stay", "Tricks for him to chase you", "What he really means" trying to see if they're anything I can do or say to be more appealing to that person. It makes me feel overly cautious about the smallest thing I do or say to someone, because they can perceive it in a million different ways. I'm tired of being the only one getting happy receiving a text. I hate being the only one writing and rewrite a message to him, in a way where I can make him smile or laugh, and not getting something back in return. I hate that I'm willing to be so available to come to him, and see him, and so spend willing to spend time with him in an instant, when he's so far away and won't even put in an effort to get back at me. I don't think it should be this hard to be loved. Should it Tumblr? I'm just me and I can't help responding back to him as soon as I see him typing because I love talking to him, but I always overthink how long I should wait to open his messages so he can try to miss me. I'm over trying to figuring out how I should be this perfect person a guy should want. I wanna be able to be myself and love people the way I do without them thinking I'm not a prize because I was easy to get. I want a love so real other people can feel our chemistry when they see us together. The type of love that changes you, and makes you a better version of yourself without ever wondering if you're insufficient. The type of love that keeps a little middle school girl reading her first big book all through out the night because she it makes her feel so giddy and excited inside trying to imagine the main character as her. But I guess they're all a work of fiction to get the reader , and the audience to buy a movie ticket or pick up the latest books. However, I like to think my love is based on a true story.