I honestly can't understand how someone can allow their child to be traumatized for "love"? The thought of my child witnessing me being repeatedly abused is heartbreaking!! The thought that one day she would see me seriously hurt gives me chills!! This is my fear. This is why I left. This is what I didn't EVER want to happen with my baby girl. But I am also a product of my upbringing and childhood. I was repeating the pattern I knew until the day I made the hardest decision of my life and walked away. Because the examples I grew up with molded me in such a way that I thought this was an acceptable way to be treated by the men in my life. It was not just physical abuse, I didn't always have visible marks and bruises, no one ever truly SAW my wounds, but I FELT THEM!! My heart, mind, and soul still carries these battle scars EVERY DAY!! . The scars that make me not trust ANYONE. . The scars that leave me doubting myself every day. . The scars that make me think that I am not enough: not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, not enough of a woman to be loved, accepted, wanted and desired. . The scars that fill me with anxiety and fear that I will end up alone, begging someone, anyone to love me. . And the scars that fill me with anxiety and fear that my daughter will repeat the pattern because of ME, Because of what I EXPOSED HER TO. Domestic violence is a HORRIBLE thing for anyone to see or have done to you. But for children, it is SOUL CRUSHING!! I fear my decision to leave so late in the game will and already has had lasting, life long effects. I'm afraid that she will grow up thinking what she saw was an acceptable way for a man to treat the woman he "loves". I'm afraid one day I will have to rescue her from an abuser. Not just a physical abuser either, because broken bones and bruises are one thing, those wounds CAN heal, but verbal and mental abuse leaves scars that take a lifetime to heal, if they heal at all. #nationaldomesticviolenceawarenessday 💜 #domesticviolenceawareness #loveshouldNOThurt #loveisblind #takeastand #breakingthecycleofabuse #unseenscars #speakout #speakup #gethelp #notmydaughter https://www.instagram.com/p/CGfiHk3Fxxp/?igshid=p4n1mednyxyl









