#loving detachment

[lioninsunheart]

“If I love myself

I love you.

If I love you

I love myself.”

-Rumi-

[swanky-janks]

[Personal things I like to put on the internet]

After cutting ties with my twin sister, things have been a lot easier in my life while simultaneously being more complicated. When I had to confront her on Christmas I said what I’d rehearsed over 4 months, in the event that we’d have to talk again. And while I thought it went over well (as well as it could), I still left that conversation feeling like it wasn’t enough. I wish I’d said this differently, I wish I’d said that instead. Things like that.

Well, after talking with my mom I found out that after I’d hung up on her she declared to the family that she wasn’t talking to me anymore. Even though I’d cut her off 4 months earlier, she had to be the one to declare it, as if this was some new development that was completely her decision. She’s just like that, you know? She always has to be the one on top.

I also found out that she’d lost her dream job. She’s in the concert industry & was touring with a band. They fired her because of her personality. I’m honestly not surprised. But I am sad to hear that happened to her.

she kind of does these things to herself. I realized after some time that my decision to cut her out wasn’t necessarily MY decision. I feel like she forced my hand by treating me the way she did. And apparently a lot of other people agree.

[antiopesayingthings]

On Detached Love:

[embracediscomfort]

A theory

We maintain the cultural narrative that "teenagers are terrible" partly so parents can untangle themselves from being overly attached to the small child in their memories and let the new adult launch successfully. It's a process of letting go...done unskillfully.

[made-in-de-visible]

It is his pain that wounds me; his affliction that binds me; my attachment is the sympathy I feel...I try to free myself by claiming no responsibility but then as he starts to unravel my fascination lights up again- however when it is I am his punching bag everything is as clear as it needs be! run! and save yourself/ defend yourself lest it happens again and I can not be repaired...so what is the answer in this dichotomy?

measured distance...get not too close but remain interested