How I Broke Down In Front of Darren Criss and He Comforted Me: My Listen Up Experience
So I went to Darren's NYC show on the 27th at Roseland Ballroom. I thought I was getting a regular VIP package, but I got a call from my mum whilst I was waiting in line and she told me that I was actually getting Deluxe VIP. As some of you may or may not know, this past week has been pretty tough for me in terms of some personal stuff and my great aunt, who I was very very close to, passed away. She actually always joked around with me saying that one day she would come see a Darren concert with me because she was a fan of him as well (: She passed away on Monday pretty abruptly, and it's been really hard. But anyway, when my mum called, she said she had a surprise for me. It turns out that she, my great aunt, and aunt had actually bought the Deluxe VIP package for me as a gift. At this point, I started crying even harder because that was something my great aunt would absolutely have done and wow okay Kate keep it together.
But first, one thing about the show. It was amazing. I can't even describe it in words. Darren's energy and his passion can literally light up the entire room and it was one of the best nights of my life.
My one other friend that had Deluxe and I went to go stand in line and we were towards the very end, but we were fine with it. I was pretty much almost hyperventilating and thinking about what to say and how to act, etc.
Finally, it was my turn. I went inside and there he was. If it's possible, Darren Criss is more handsome, more smile-y, and more beautiful in real life. Just by being within ten feet of him, I could feel myself relax a bit. My eyes were still really red because I couldn't stop thinking about my great aunt and just all the shit that had happened and I really tried to look like I was okay but lol that didn't work because the first few minutes of the conversation went like this.
Me (trying to wipe my nose and eyes and sound like I hadn't been crying and trying to adjust my watery smile): I know. I'm Kate.
Darren: Hi Kate nice to meet you! Are you okay? I hope those are happy tears otherwise I might start feeling like shit.
And then the tears started running down my face and my face sort of almost crumbled and Darren looked at me all concerned and like pulled me into a hug (HE SMELLED SO GOOD LIKE HOW HE WAS JUST SWEATING LIKE A BLOODY PIG AN HOUR AGO) and he was like "Oh no please don't cry, Kate!" And I was like "I'm so sorry I'm acting like a bloody idiot." And he was like "No you're not honestly would you like to sit down?"
And then we sat down and he still looked really concerned and so I started to calm down a little bit. He asked a few questions about my accent and how old I was and such and then I kept apologizing profusely and THEN HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY KNEE AND LOOKED AT ME REALLY SERIOUSLY (his eyes I can't even) and he was like: "Kate please stop apologizing. You're not doing anything wrong and you're going to make me feel bad. Do you mind if I ask what's wrong?"
And I said something like: "I just had a really shitty past few days and I feel like everything's sort of against me right now, but honestly your concert really helped me feel better but still, you know? And I'm not even supposed to have Deluxe VIP but one of the people that helped get it for me, my great aunt, just passed away and it was really sudden and I was really close to her and just . ." And I sort of sniffled a little bit and Darren got me a tissue omg.
Then Darren TOOK MY HAND AND HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYES AGAIN AND HE WAS LIKE "Hey Kate I'm really sorry that you've had some shitty days and I'm really sorry about your great aunt. It's really tough to lose someone you love, but you know, you seem like a really fucking strong girl and I think you can get through this, okay? And I'm really happy that my concert made me feel better when it's people like you who, when they say that I make them feel better, make me feel better. Does that make sense?" and I just sort of nodded and he like looked at me for a second then put on this really huge goofy smile and said "What else? Too many boys chasing after you?" and I snorted and probably made a really fucking disgusting sound given the fact I was sick and I said: "quite the opposite actually."
And then after that, we talked a bit more about some stuff I'd rather not share because some of it was kind of personal and he told me some stuff I'd rather not share either, but then he stood up and hugged me REALLY TIGHTLY (GOD HE GIVES GREAT HUGS) and he told me I smelled good and I was a pretty crier and I laughed and said the same thing in return (???)
Then, we got our pictures taken and he signed and stuff and then he gave me another hug and kissed my cheek and he was like "Stay strong, Kate. If not for yourself, then for me, okay?" And I just sort of nodded and said "Thank you, for everything" and he just smiled really hugely back at me and said "No, thank you." And then I said goodnight and left.
Honestly I think my mind had sort of stopped working about halfway through because I still can't wrap my head around the fact that this happened.
Unfortunately, I won't be posting the polaroid because idk it's kind of personal to me and I know I've been using that word a lot, but I think that sums up my experience the best. It was personal. And I know a lot of people would have acted really cool and normal around Darren, and there are some parts of me that wish I did, but given the circumstances, the odds were sort of against me with this one and when I think about it, I wouldn't really change a thing.
