my mind is reeling with thoughts about older!eddie panicking when this girl in her 20s shamelessly asks him if he’d ever tried anal during breakfast
just imagine: his milky cheeks turning the brightest shade of red. he’s absolutely adorable as he doesn’t dare meet your eyes as he all but chokes on his piece of bacon because, well.
he grew up during the eighties — girls weren’t exactly spewing questions like that out loud and it kind of sends him into a spiral bc how the hell do you feel so comfortable asking stuff like that? at nine at the morning nonetheless?
anyway, he spirals and he just can’t fucking stop thinking about it
Momo is a submissive top, the type of top who stands in the corner if you tell her that if she doesn't she won't get to eat you out 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️ my mind is BURNING with sub momo grrrrrr 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹
So in that tag game post a while ago (here is the link for it btw, do it cuz tag games are fun /lh), @trixthemagemain came with this comment here:
I tried to answer in the comments, really. But the more i wrote on notes app, the more i went "there is no fucking way this will fit a comment".
Maybe i rambled too much? A fair point and opinion, 99% chance of you being right on it, BUT i >>>believe<<< it was necessary im so sorry if you are scared of texts walls lol
Rambles after the cut dont follow the distinct line between canon and headcanon/non-canon. Here, both of them take each other hands and dances the night away until the line becomes blurry enough, bear with me 83
I might be talking the obvious on the next lines, but here we go:
So, i think it maybe be less then it was back in the earlier days of undertale, but the Chara slander is pretty well-know, which is wild to hate them as a character, even more unhinged if you just have their ONLY scene in undertale, at the end of geno route (which i too never played, dont have the guts to kill anyone in this universe).
Like??? Wdym you think the evil one is the child who erase an ALREADY EMPTY WORLD??? You, the player, were the one who cleaned the Underground, who made sure that every single monster wouldnt be spared, choosed violence instead of mercy. You made Frisk's hands become dusty by your own merit. Thats such a odd and dumb thought to have. Media illiteracy at its peak, or in this case, at its lowest.
Anyway, my point is: i feel that most people look past, or at least it doesnt have that much of a discourse, in the fact why Chara did what it did in the main story, why they sacrificed themselfs. Or even the implications on why they end up on Mount Ebott (this goes for Frisk too).
Its said from the start that those who climb it never return. Asriel says they climbed for an unhappy reason, and they hated humanity. Chara went to Mount Ebott to die, for their own choice. How fucked up is for a child go full on suicide, which raise too another question: how bad did humanity/their village treat them? This is a headcanon of mine, but seeing their eye color being not a normal shade to have, and seeing how much humans fear/hate monsters, i believe they were sorta of an outcast in human society, seeing their features in a bad light.
(Ik the red eyes only appear at the epilogue of souless True Pacifist route, but since i came arround some short comic of Chara in regards how they feel about the red eyes it in self-esteem because of most humans reaction to it, that it became my main headcanon. And also adds to the Dreemurr family all having red eyes too. Love a united family <3).
This or their uncanny coldly-racional-ish personality (if they have since the beginning and wasnt a cope mechanism for their trauma) was the motive. But either way, Chara didnt met the kindest humans, and was the starting point of the story game.
Because, of this humanity's hate, of their own selfhate, they fall on Mount Ebott, Asriel find them, the Dreemurr's adopt them. Chara finally find people who care and love them, so its reciprocal.
So reciprocal that Chara its determined to help not just their only family to be happy, but the whole kingdom who welcomed with open arms. They will free monster-kind. They will die for them.
The buttercups incident happens, thats when Chara comes with the idea of sacrificing themselfs for Asriel absorve their soul, break the barrier and free the monsters from the Underground. The plan fails because Chara wants revenge for what humans did to them, to the monsters, to their family, but Asriel doesnt. Some say that it was his hesitation that costs their lifes, but the humans would attack them in one way or the other (Asriel in Boss Monster form didn't do anything to the village, just stand there in a fucking existencial collapse between him and Chara fighting for control, with the former's body in his arms; and yet, they were welcomed with violence in a bat of an eye).
Once saw as hope for human and monsters, the Dreemurr family lost their only children to humanity. Later on, Chara's soul awakes by the player's determination, and on True Pacifist Route, you can't tell where Chara end and where Frisk start in the Asriel bossfight, with Chara's memories flooding Frisk/player's mind as it was their own, to save the main cast and Asriel from its own destruction. Everytime you die in there, when your soul refuses death, its Chara refusing to watch their best friend, their brother, to destroy everything they fought for.
But even in all-gameplay length, Chara its watching you. Accompaning you. Seeing what will be your actions, if you gonna be like the rest of humanity they despise, or someone who they can rest in peace knowing their family its on good hands, or even better, if you will fullfill the promise of freedom of the monster-kind they couldnt do.
"But Asriel says too that Chara wasn't actually a good person" he says that Chara wasnt the GREATEST PERSON, first things first. Between being the greastest and being good are two different things. What we can get of this is: they wasnt that immaculate person he blindly followed the plan with. The intricate master-mind that someones still try to paint Chara as. They werent. They arent. They are good: Chara served as a martyr to the monster's cause, even if themselfs couldnt see the happy ending. If they were truly evil, they would want to limit even more the Underground's life. To them suffer even more without the sunlight, the fresh air, the hope that Surface promised a long time ago.
"Oh but they LAUGHED at Asgore falling ill! Thats so so EVIL!" my sweet summer child, did you ever heard of the concept of a nervous laugh? Its a pretty common cope mechanism to have when you find yourself in a odd situation that neither you or your brain know how to process it. Myself can say it. Lets be real for a minute, Chara for sure doesnt know how to deal with emotions, to process them properly. The majority could say if they saw a loved one falling ill, they would be upset, sad, depressed even. But when you dont know how to take the saddness in? The shock? The fear of almost lost someone you love? You either shutdown entirely or act the opposite you should "normally" react, act in a odd way. They laugh the pain away of an incident that almost make them look alike the humans who trapped monsters on Underground. Nervous on being like them, with monster dust in their hands, betraying their trust. If anything, i would say that moment Chara feared to became what they refer as in the geno run: the demon that comes when people calls its name. And if you come about their creepy faces showing how bad of a person they are, i swear i will myself rip your soul from your being /menacing.
Chara its not a bad person. They can be a secretive plotter, witty beyond their age, with a dry, self-deprecating humor perhaps? Yes. But they loved. Truly loved. Their love was different from yours, it was love too. /ref
It was love to have matching friendship necklaces with Asriel. It was love to exchange their pointless (in their vision) life to the freedom of their beloved ones. It was love to match Toriel's way of speaking. It was love to make humanity pay for its actions to their only family. It was love to do anything on their power to make the Underground happy again.
It was love, in their deathbed, despite the agony of flower poison in throat, deep in their body and blood, with Asriel by their side crying, guilty about the plan; Chara stays determinated. Smiles through the pain.
"Stop that... You big crybaby...
You should be smiling.
You're going...
To be free."
If this isn't love, what is it then?
Despite everything, Chara is a child who learned to love too late, in a twisted way because of their self-destructive way, found their family in the beings considered "evil" by humanity, the same ones who turned the back to Chara. They will protect those who showed care.
If Chara questions you since when you were the one on control, its a satirical quote. You ended this world. Your choices lead to it. In the empty of the Underground, there is nothing more for you, the player, to do, besides face the consequences of your actions. You have no choice on it. You have no control of it anymore. Because its fate was sealed by the last soul you harvest. You had control of changing the narrative before it, you simply didn't care to try.
The real monster was you all along.
And Chara simply is here for you to pay the price. To prevent to the tragedy to repeat yourself. And even if you go back after this, nothing will be the same anymore. They will ensure you dont ever forget it.
Weather they will be haunting you or helping you, its all by your hands.
My goal has been to release something major every week since I was laid off.
The first week I got to showcase some Live2D rigs that I was very proud of
Shortly after I released the VTS Desktop Audio plugin
I didn't get to release anything last week, which was really a hit motivation, but that's because I was working on this week's release
This week I released the Winter Wonderland plugin
But because that took longer than anticipated, I'm behind on Live2D commissions, and I HATE being behind on work. So even though I just did a major release I don't have any time to rest at all.
Since I've been laid off I've been working more and longer hours than I ever did at my job honestly. Its really nice to be able to work on whatever I want. But in addition to being constantly nervous about being able to make enough money to sustain myself, I'm seriously burning the candle at both ends. I work on projects every day from 9am to 2am. But I've always said "When you do what you love, you work every day for the rest of your life", so I guess I was right about that lol
i’m reading some older BNF fanfiction, and it’s interesting because it fails on a lot of “publishable” metrics—it’s too long, retreads the same plot points over and over, doesn’t even seem entirely sure what arc/angle/etc it’s gunning for, it meanders…
…but it occurs to me: this is kind of similar to the writing i used to do for play-by-post RPGs?
on those games, you’d write two thousand words just working through your own feelings about your character, and how that character relates to everyone else, with elaborate metaphors, and subtle breakdowns of every expression, and so on and so forth.
in RP that’s because the writing is also a dialogue, and you’re invited. you get to help make my character too. all that rambling leaves abundant openings for you to slot in their own character—your character can smirk knowingly in the same moment that my character’s thinking about what a bitch so-and-so is being, and they bond in that moment, in a way that’s hard to achieve purely through the physical action of the roleplay (because play-by-post roleplay action, by its very nature, is a bit slow-paced, and thus every action must be full of meaning and depth), and hard to achieve without those thousand openings (because, if you’re not rambling about your character at length, you’re not inviting me in; you’re not letting chinks in the armor show that let me wedge in how my character development can relate to yours).
and it occurs to me, a lot of fanfiction is a dialogue too, right?
at the very least it’s in a dialogue with the original text. the vast majority of the time, i think, people write fanfic because there’s something canon didn’t cover that the author feels they should have.
but fanfic—particularly fanfic from a certain Livejournal-y era—seems to be produced in dialogue with the trends of the fandom at the time, as well; in this fic i (think i) can feel the author wrestling between leaning really hard into “plot what plot” pure sexy steaminess, and also wanting portray a bunch of weird nuances of the central relationship, in a way that doesn’t quite cohere (because one of the characters was left so undeveloped in the original canon), but you can feel straining toward cohesion via these long rambles (because, y’know, inevitably the author is expounding on that).
most of the time, yeah, your story’s gonna be better if you cut this shit down.
but in fandom, you get to assume your readers have already bought into your characters, and that’s huge; that lets you lean into weird discursive pseudo-dialogues with your audience, in a way that’s not possible if you haven’t already positioned your work as a dialogue, and in a way that’s not possible without considerable prior buy-in (because all this rambling without buy-in is going to read more like pretension than an invitation).
posting weird shit like that one piss kink piece and the zucchini insert i posted yesterday always make my skin crawl in embarrassment and then you guys keep remembering you are as depraved and weird like i am lol
but seriously thanks for the love, both of these did wayyy better than i expected LMAO
