#luaria vilkas

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It seemed quiet at first before Luaria could hear a low growl. Someone had a guest and they're probably there to wreck them about something.

Lu’s ears perked at the sound of the growl. She was briefly surprised, though she settled in quiet relief as she recognized the growl... and then it clicked that said guest was in hiding, which was enough for the Iceblood to jump to her feet and turn in the direction of the growl.

“Oh, jeez.”

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Hunter tell us about a troll of yours you're most proud of!!!

Chase, you bet your bottom dollar I will!!! -holds up Luaria-

Alright, so. Anyone who’s been with me from the get-go knows Lu. She was my first fantroll, a spotlighter who’s been in my life for more than seven years now, and boy has she changed a lot.

In the beginning, Lu was definitely not a shining example of a person. Sure, she was nice and friendly, almost always walking around with a smile on her face, and willing to sacrifice anything for those she cared about, but the other side of the coin was a real piece of work. She was equally rude and cold, quick to turn sour on and even turn downright mean towards anyone who inconvenienced her. She was horribly obsessed with the roles that people played and often reduced them to just those roles, pre-judging and ostracizing people not for who they were, but for who she believed they could be. She was sweet, but she was also vicious and had an absolutely horrendous inferiority complex, one which was pretty evident when she played the victim card if things didn’t go her way.

As she grew older, for a while there, she was in a really bad spot. She constantly stayed stressed-out, aggressive, lashing out both physically and verbally with little to no provocation. Unsurprisingly, she had to deal with the consequences of being ostracized herself, but in her state, she firmly believed that it was everyone else being unreasonable. It was a hard sweep and a half, one riddled with vices and heartbreak, but after some dream bubble-esque tomfoolery in which she spend several perigees in solitude, she realized that she needed to face a truth she’d been hiding from herself and everyone else.  It was never as simple as ‘moodiness’ like she played it off to be, but mental illness. She knew it, but it wasn’t until she accepted it that she chose to seek help.

We’ll fast-forward to now. Lu’s calmed down. She’s gotten her act together. She’s living a productive and proactive life getting more and more in touch with her inner self and the world around her. For the most part, she’s been happy and secure with who she is. Even on her bad days, she’s still able to utilize what she’s learned and use it to better herself by the day. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t get emotional whenever I think about it.

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💜-for Luaria

💜- A memory about one of their loved ones, happy or sad

"Hmm... happy or sad, either one?"

You pause to consider your options before you respond.

"I guess... When Dez and I exchanged rings and vows, and a lot of our old friends were there. It was all great, all happy. We both said we'd be there for each other no matter what, and I'd say we've... mostly done it pretty well. Gogs know I haven't made it easy on her, though. Sort of makes me feel bad to think about, but at least I can try making it all up to her by working just as hard for her."

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🎧 for Luaria

Lu my darling

Hers is the acoustic rendition of “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been” by Relient K

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Hey Lu, have you ever taken a bite out of an onion like an apple before

"Once, on a dare. It was awful, actually."

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luaria, what do you grow in your garden?

“Hm?”

“Oh! Uh... sorry, you sort of surprised me.”

“I like growing... you know, foodstuffs. Cabbages, Morsla really likes those. Squash, corn, tomatoes... mostly vegetables and stuff. It helps with the nutritional aspect. Health and all.”

“...Though Kamala might say the same thing about her herb garden.”

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reverse + 18 for Ash and Lu* ; Mess With My Muse meme

"That's it! I'll show you that I can-" Lu immediately tries to pick up Ashter and place him on her shoulders; unfortunately, he's bulkier than her, and she's making a valiant attempt not to drop him or fall over. After a moment, however, she succeeds in supporting his weight at least for now.

"Hah! I win, bitch!"

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If you're still in need, I'd love more of Siroco goofing off, or maybe a check in on Luaria?

Honestly, I think I’m gonna just keep my inbox open because this is pretty nice, actually. I’ll do Lu since it’s been a while, but if you want Roco, still, I’ll get one in for him, too.

Your name is Luaria Vilkas, and it’s been a while since anyone’s heard from you. What have you been up to? Well, the answer seems to be nothing and everything all at once. Wait, was that even an answer? Maybe it was, or maybe it wasn’t. You’re beating around the bush, Lu.

Honestly, you’ve only really felt out of place since your last return from Kaze Ridge. Very out of place, and it’s left a sense of conflict within you. On the one hand, you found so many others who were just like you that it almost felt like a dream, at first. On the other, you have your friends and quadrants, trolls you’ve known for a lifetime at least, who couldn’t possibly stand the cold of the tundra for long. You feel... torn. Yes, that’s it. You feel torn between two worlds. One is your past and present, your life itself, and the other is your home-

No. It can’t be home. This is home. This colony you’ve made for yourself and your friends is home. Your Matesprit is home. Your Moirail is home. Your Kismesis, wherever the hell he is, is home. You can’t just leave them for some sort of “calling”. Even if it felt right to you, that didn’t mean it was. Besides, you can always go to the ridge in the colder perigees. Your quadrants deserve your time more.

But still, this doesn’t seem right. Nothing has really seemed right over the past few perigees. It’s not something that you’ve wanted to think about, but it’s been there regardless. You wish you could stop thinking of it, because it’s been all but at the forefront of your thoughts. What even IS home? Why have you been feeling so out of place between what you’ve known and what you’ve found in the hereafter? This is worse than temptation. Temptation doesn’t begin to cover it. It’s just full-blown longing for something you know you can never fully have.

You know that your quadrants won’t withstand the cold, and you wouldn’t dare pull them from their lives to keep them in yours. Yet in the same vein, you are also part of their lives, and would that not be upending them for yourself? Is there any way for you to all feel... happy? Complete? Or are you just being selfish?

You’re being selfish. That’s what it has to be, you’re selfish for even thinking of putting yourself before them. You take a breath, and it feels sharp and painful. You feel the urge to cough, but that hurts, too. Everything just hurts, anymore, and not even in any way you can describe. Your spells have gotten worse, even to the point of feeling almost paralyzing, and as you jump to your feet and pace around rapidly, you feel like your pulse can’t decide whether it wants to rise and fall. You almost swear you don’t feel it at all. You feel like you don’t know up from down. You feel like you don’t know left from right, or right from wrong, and you’re suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’re shaking, but why? What’s happening to you? You wish you had an answer, but honestly... you feel like you don’t know anything anymore.