#luci.txt

[transcendantbitch]

i mean you’re right but did you have to say it

[transcendantbitch]

this. fucking leech. is seriously STILL out here fucking with mine and any of my prospective lovers’ destinies. off the back of my rapist’s insane akashic record fuckery AND the gold digger’s fucking love life scrambling. so i just have multiple shitty abusive exes trying to ruin my life. and this fucking delusional goddamn leech still seriously thinks i miss him as a friend when my good will toward him is LONG gone and there is NO ONE who can interfere with my feelings for c and he is the LAST person on fucking earth or any goddamn planet in any goddamn dimension who could ever possibly hope to do so. i don’t miss you as a friend, i DEFINITELY don’t miss you as a lover, i will not fucking talk to you again even if you are the last human being on earth. i want c. i will ask god for the fucking opportunity to talk to him before i betray my integrity to talk to you. i will NEVER fucking bow to you no matter how hard you try. get the fuck over it. leave me the fuck alone. i am done firing warning shots. i know what the fuck i’m capable of now. and i HIGHLY out rank you. you’re done. you’ve been done. you get the FUCK out of my energy PERMANENTLY if you know what the fuck’s good for you. for christ’s sake

[transcendantbitch]

taped back together the posters of his art charli ripped up a little while back after she asked for closure and got it but then it obviously didn’t stick. we’d been thinking about doing it for a while. there’s still a piece missing we have to tape up for one of them so it’s not finished yet. honestly his.. ‘shrine’ is a little disorganized. we probably need to go fix up all our shrines sometime soon.

… i’m hoping the gesture is appreciated even if the methods are a little crude. the posters were already damaged from dust from another incident and they’re definitely not flat anymore. but i like them being back together. i like to be able to see his pictures. his art has always been so beautiful.

i love him so much. i pray every day to get to show that love to him someday. i pray every day for my love to reach him. someday we’ll be together again. in one capacity or another. i really hope to get to love him someday. i really do. to have that privilege would mean so much to me. i hope if we’re destined to come back together that i won’t have to wait much longer. …. but i can keep waiting. i’ll wait as long as it takes. i’ll keep taking the tests. i don’t know what it’s going to take but it’ll be worth it. i love him so much. i love him so much.

[transcendantbitch]

i hope the whole fucking world knows i'm a freak btw. i'm proud as fuck of being a freak. don't give a shit. even my goddamn parents probably know. it's a surveillance state so i'm sure the fuckin president knows. my shitty ex friends all fuckin know. i dooooon't give a fuck. i don't care. i'm a freak. i love being a freak. i will be a freak till the grave and then i will freak it up with all the other bitches in the cemetery and we will have a big fuckin freak party in the afterlife together. let's all embrace being freaks together. kumba-fuckin-ya

[transcendantbitch]

i’m not going back and forth talking about her anymore. i’m not gonna keep putting in more wasted effort. i’m done. i wanna be friends. i don’t need to want anything else. i don’t give a fuck about bargaining for a better apology. i genuinely don’t think we’d be a good couple. but we’d be very good friends. i think it’s a terrible wasted opportunity to not be friends. and it’s not gonna fucking happen if she doesn’t reach out. i am NOT reaching out. fuck you. i don’t care what spellwork you send. i don’t care which spirit guide you send to convince me to do it. i’m not doing it. that is your responsibility. don’t fucking manipulate me. don’t fucking take advantage of me. i’m done.

i want to be your friend. we’ve both hurt each other a lot. i’m tired. i’m tired of us both hurting. i’m not letting myself go back and forth anymore. i’m not gonna try for romance with someone if i’m in love with someone else. but we should really be friends. i know it breaks her heart. it breaks mine, too. but like, i’m over it now. i found closure for myself already. we could’ve had something. but i think we can still have a really beautiful friendship. i don’t actually think that’s a loss. it sounds like a loss because society says it’s a loss. but i think it could be something beautiful instead.

[transcendantbitch]

honestly i don't want it to be impossible. i don't think it's THAT impossible. it just SEEMS impossible. that's very different from actually impossible.

[transcendantbitch]

i literally would love to be exiled from the internet. that sounds like a permanent vacation i can get behind. fuckin hate this place

[transcendantbitch]

you will have to make up your own smoking gun, i'm afraid. if you want to shoot, shoot. go for the throat. make it count. i'm ready to say sayonara you weeaboo fucks to this website any goddamn day now motherfucker. you wanna cancel me, fuckin make it hurt, bitch.