Great Expectations
Riz returned to the Vengeance but not to sleep. There was a little space in the hold, a room built and carved with loving care and inside the instant calm of a trickling fountain, the tiny twinkling lights offering, at least at this hour, the dull glint like starlight over the myriad of plants surrounding his meditation mat. He remembered when he first found the place; the little garden Saeris had built as a winter veil present. His heart still skipped a beat and made him blush, thinking about the fact that the salty sea captain with all his ‘fuckin fuck you’s’ also secretly talked to plants like tender tiny children.
He stood on one hand, doing the splits in the air until each foot bent down nearly to rest on the floor on either side of him. With his free hand he reached for a large marble ball and while holding his position, but for a few flicks and twists here and there, he managed to toss the heavy ball from hand to foot, then rolled to the opposite knee and again lofted airborne while he switched his weight from one hand to the other and caught it again. Then he started the whole exercise again, but in reverse. Back and forth. Balance.
He replayed the argument with Mavas in his head. All of it. The spoken and unspoken, more importantly the things left unsaid and the bond the two shared. He wasn’t sure he would ever like the other man, nor the reverse, but there was something about having him near that both put Riz on edge and felt comforted by. He had reminded Riz that night exactly how rusty he was letting himself again. In a way, Mavas was trying to protect the contortionist from the danger they both face: complacency.
No, perhaps not rusty... his skills were sharp, as the ball dancing with each toss in the air proved, the man could bend his body by each twitch of a muscles into any shape he needed. It was true he had few opponents to really push himself against but he was still deadly. He was still skilled and perhaps stronger in a real one on one fight than he had ever been, but each step away from being a killing machine and a step towards being a person took sacrifices. He had to find balance.
That night there was a new feeling for him. One he had not been acquainted with over the years, and one that was painfully obvious during the harsh words against Mavas. He was not arguing with a fellow operative, not really. Mavas might have been the one he exchanged words with but his real battle was with his place in the world. Perhaps the conversation would have gone much differently if Kurel had not be there to listen and comment. Then it would have just been once again Shades of darkness trying to break the Reed as it had always been. The audience shined a harsh light that Rizzy was facing this new emotion head on and not his rival. In that dilapidated old shack, Rizzy stared down his own ambition.
It was a good battle, but the war was far from over. He found a line he would not cross. One he nearly threatened out loud, but more importantly internalized. He also found the grin on Kurel’s face as negotiation and debate happened without the man’s authority being required... rewarding. Yet the scrutiny of both men and the challenges they presented, Riz was no longer arguing for the moment he was subtly arguing proof as a man who could follow orders, protect his charges, and perhaps even lead properly on his own someday, not through a puppeted figure head.
Ambition. Balance. ...Patience.
That was the thing he still needed. Patience. This new life required many new skills, and while patience had formerly been his strong suit it was now at risk of being pulled from him by the demands of may voices. He lifted one leg and balanced the marble on the ball of his foot. Remaining there, unmoving until Lucierin’s damned rooster crowed out the new morning. Time to pick himself up from the mat and wrestle with the needs of the many another day.
Maybe General Cero, and Vel were right and he was made to do great things. Maybe Kurel and Saeris were right and he could handle the word he still couldn’t stand to say aloud. In the end, there was really only one way to find out; get back to work.
(( @generalcero @velerodra @kurel-andiel @shaded-hawke @crimsynlotus @featherbloodsisters ))
