#lukaret

[thenamesnotatallrelevant]

La Lukarete

Me: (Who knows no Spanish ‘cept for famous words of contempt, heartily singing a line in the song La Llorona in the animated film “Coco”) 🎶No dejaré de quererte🎵 (I will not stop loving you)->🎶berebere lukarete, berebere lukareteeeeee!🎵 She:

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[superlooliimaa]

Bengeg. 🤣🤣🤣 #lukaret

[sillyrabbitstuff-blog]

#pixiemuch #feelingfairy #lukaret #tulilingbel

[ishaabubakar]

MUSIC WITHOUT A FACE

The Unconventional Charing, Part 2

To get away from the spotlight while remaining musically productive, I worked (and continue to work) behind the scenes as a TV and film music composer. Yes, we’re talking musical scores for drama soaps, comedies, action films, horror films, fantaseryes, documentaries, AVPs and other such labada, as well as producer of songs, minus-ones, voice-overs, nursery rhymes, etc. for other artist friends, all recorded in my little home studio where you can see my handwashed panties hanging inside the bathroom. I taught myself how to use Vegas, Garageband, Ableton, Logic Pro, Pro Tools and Final Cut Pro by pestering friends like Bond S. and Ryan B., and watching a whole lot of online tutorials without the aid of subtitles.

I became a geek. Life is hard. Life in the Philippines is doubly, triply, quadruply paking hard.

I am flat-chested with bad teeth. Also, not a comedienne. So I have no business with spotlights.

Obviously, malalim ang complex ko when it comes to fame and spotlights. How many times have I written the word “spotlights” in this entry?

  As if that fame-thirst complex wasn’t enough, I am also not a "real" composer.

I have a terrible “I don’t belong anywhere” complex. Don’t start me off with my strange name. That’s a whole new essay.

I didn't go to music school. I have no formal training. No one among my parents, brothers and sisters can play an instrument for any good length of time. I play everything solely by ear. Oido, they call it. Sifra.

A gift, yes.

But also a curse.

Because of my working-class background and no musical role models to look up to (I was scared of becoming that uber-talented musician playing for loose change at the overpass), I took up something safe and assuring -- journalism. Writers will always be needed in the world, right? And I should be able to pay the bills and make my mother happy.

Well, in hindsight, I did have a few names to inspire me growing up. There was Rica Arambulo. I saw her playing the keyboard at a popular noontime TV show. She was called a Musical Director, and she would provide musical accompaniment whenever needed. She was beautiful, amazingly talented and could think and play on the fly. Also, there was Jingle Buena. She wrote a song for Metropop and became a finalist. She painted herself all blue for the performance night. She took my breath away.

But I had no idea where my piano-playing would take me. Until college circa early 90s came along.

[ishaabubakar]

THE UNCONVENTIONAL CHARING

Before I start telling you about something bigger than myself, I should like to take you first inside myself, to provide a bit of context.

Sorry this will be intense. Game?

Here to make a clean breast of everything. Eventhough I don’t have much of a breast to start with. I am flat-chested. Also, I have bad teeth.

Anyway, here goes. I started out wanting to be rich, beautiful, full-chested and famous– but I didn’t want the attendant headache, loss of true friends, loss of privacy, loss of my hard-earned salary to cosmetic and dental surgery, etc.

So how is the fulfillment of my ambitions even possible?

My friends have told me that I have sent the universe nothing but conflicting signals, which is why my ambitions have not prospered.

You see, my friend Annie A. said it best in an article called “The Unconventional Chanteuse.” She touches the ivory keys ever so lightly before pounding them with the force of an anguish. She sits half facing the audience, poised like she is just starting and already leaving at the same time.

The article was about me, and these words best describe my feelings about fame and fortune -- and quite possibly, about life in general -- in one insightful nutshell. Thank you Annie Alejo for your keen talent! Oh how I love the piano! I have played for family, friends and elderly people wanting to relive good memories of balmy afternoons through the sound of soft, warm keys. But I am frightened of the limelight. It is too hot in there, literally. The klieg lights give off these carcinogenic energies that may stunt growth and quite possibly even talent. Plus, the Filipino audience to whom I play is a very demanding audience. I have had friends with whom I have shared my best obscure work, perhaps the song of mine that the great Pilita Corrales sang for an independent movie, or some such great shit.

But they would still look for the song that they had heard on mainstream radio. And not even my song, but a cover of a hit song. The one that almost toppled an American popstar off the local charts.

Yes, I have friends from all walks. I wanted to be famous, yet anonymous.

I didn’t know myself at all back then. Now, I do. At least a little more.