Back to the Beginning: The Lump and a Funeral
I guess you could say this is where the story actually begins. March 17th, 2017 is a day that marks an anniversary of many things. Saint Patrick’s Day, the loss of my beloved grandfather, and the appearance of a mysterious lump in my right breast.
I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I might write today. Even well before this day arrived, I have pondered deeply about what I might express. I find that I am struggling to come up with words as I reflect on what my heart feels.
Honestly, on this day I have very mixed emotions ranging from thankfulness to lonely. I realize that the lump was a beautifully disguised gift that has taken me down a path that I never imagined I would venture down. The lump propelled me into a journey that I have not always appreciated...This little 1.5cm lump forced me to stare Fear and Loss in the face over, and over, and over again. And this lump is not done with me yet. I am learning that although this lump doesn’t physically exist anymore, “the lump” will never be done with me...And I am continually learning to find the beauty and gratitude in the lump.
“I thank the universe
for taking
everything it has taken
and giving to me
everything it is giving”
– balance
Rupi Kaur
I love you Granddad!