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Does anyone else strongly believe that Rhodey and Tony hang out on a nude beach every summer because ‘fuck it, we look good and tan lines aren’t sexy’ ??? and that its been a thing for them for years. Rhodey joking brought it up one day and Tony set it in stone...
cause this is honestly a thing for me.
Headcanon Rocket and Tony
Set as Alternate Universe-Animals Shifters
Rocket (Bradley Cooper Human form) obviously shifts into a raccoon. Tony is a Black Norwegian Forest Cat.
What it would be like if Rocket and Tony were sarcastic-asshole best friends.
When they are human they are constantly causing trouble for their friends. They live under the impression that ‘you can make anything explode with the right amount of genius’ which means something explodes at least every 2 hours when these two get together.
Tony and Rocket have an easy friendship. They are in tune with each other. When Rocket’s in a crappy mood Tony’s the only one that can snap him out of it. (others are left to keep a ten foot radius until Tony arrives)
when Tony gets quite or distant Rocket knows what to do. Quite moments can mean anything. Sadness, an amazing idea, not enough coffee, and many more. Only Rocket knows the difference. When Tony gets super calm and quiet, Rocket keeps everyone away so Tony can enjoy the moment of peace. When it’s a sad one he takes him to the movies and they watch anything that isn’t romantic comedy.
Aside from their group of friends and each other, they can be super antisocial. Parties aren’t as interesting as they seem. Being at home and hanging out is much better, especially when they go out in the yard and make something explode.
Both are human disasters when it comes to the kitchen, so they live in restaurants. They frequent some places so often the waiters/waitresses and hosts no them, their preference and love the boys.
In their animal forms (Rocket will totally deny it) but he’ll hold sleepy kitty cat Tony that purrs on him. It’s the best way for them to sleep since both suffer from insomnia
Another thing they like to do is hang outside on the back deck. Tony will bask in the sun and soak up all that warmth while Rocket goes to terrorize the bird life. He gets great joy in sneaking up on them. That or stalking rabbits and seeing how high he can get them to jump.
Some times when Rocket gets agree he turns into his animal form. Only tony can come near him (in either form) or touch him when he’s like this. Anyone else gets growled at and if they’re dumb enough not to take the warning for what it is they walk away a little traumatized.
So yeah I just need to get my mind of other things so I wrote this. Reblog with your own ideas! I’d love to see what you come up with.
I don’t even know..
Tony was poking around in alien plant life when he shouldn’t have and got sprayed with something. Groot saw the whole thing. The Guardians were on a new planet looking for a rare stone for Rocket. It was in the forest that they were trailing through. Stark a recent addition to their group was curious. He’d only been with them for a few months and all the new stuff was still so fascinating to him.
So when he started lagging behind, Groot was the only one that took notice.
“I am Groot.” The tree was turned away from the retreating Guardians and watching Stark poke a very vibrant flower.
Rocket laughed, “Ha! Stark’s a grown ass man, he can take care of himself.” Even though he tried to play indifferent, the modified raccoon turned around. He saw Stark, inspecting a flower he didn’t really recognize but something in his gut told him something was going to happen.
“I am Groot.” Groot was talking to Rocket but still watching Tony like a hawk.
“Yeah, yeah. Hey guys!” Rocket went to catch the group so he missed the flower opening up and spitting out a dust like gas in Tony’s face. Groot on the other hand was right there, catching the mortal before he could fall backwards.
Gently Groot lowered Tony back until he was sitting. From his position, the un-armored man looked up at his tree companion. “Hi Groot,” he smiled, down at the dazed human, “can I have a hug?” Like a child, Tony lifted his arms up to the giant tree who curled his branch arms under him. Lifting him up like a baby and holding him close.
“I am Groot!” Suddenly the Guardians were running back to them and when Tony spotted them he smiled wide.
“Hi guys!” He waved and wiggled so Groot moved to let him down.
“Tony what happened?” Peter was in his face, looking over his glazed eyes and checking him over. When Tony did nothing but giggle and fall back against Groot’s legs Quill got worried. “Shit Tony, listen okay? How do you feel?”
It seemed like Groot behind him and Peter’s hands on his shoulders were the only things holding him up. His mind also could focus because he was about to tell Peter something but then Gamora moved behind him and he was waving at her. Peter turned to look at what he was looking at and his gripped loosened. Tony dropped down, legs weak and so he just sat on the ground, head back and looking up at Groot.
“Groot!” Tony laughed and reached for the tree but his arms quickly dropped back down.
Gamora stepped forward, “Groot what happened?”
“I am Groot. I am Groot.” The tree kept one hand on Tony’s head while the other gestured at a flower near them, “I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.” He picked Stark up like a child, hands under his arm pits and gently put him back on his feet. Although anytime he let go, Tony’s legs gave out so he just held firm.
Rocket stepped forward, eyeing Stark suspiciously, “You mean to tell me this so called genius put his face in an unknown plant and it sprayed something in his face to get him acting like this?”
“I am Groot.”
“Unbelievable! Come on, let’s get this moron back to this ship.” Rocket turned, big gun perched on his shoulder. Drax turned to follow.
“Rocket, Stark cannot be a moron if he’s a genius.”
Tony waved at their retreating backs, “Drax!” Groot looked down, seeing Tony reach for his teammate he decided they should be together. Picking up the drugged mortal, he stepped forward and draped him across Drax’s bare back.
Out of some kind of reflex, Drax reached behind him to support Tony’s butt. Meanwhile, Tony had taken to curling around the engraved alien like a koala baby. “What is the mean of this?”
“I am Groot.”
“He said that Stark here wants you so you can carry him back to the ship. Think of it as an honor.”
He did, Drax took some kind of new found honor in carrying Stark like some kind of child. On either side of them, Gamora and Peter cooed at Tony. Smiling and waving as he did the same thing back. Groot remained in the rear to make sure Tony didn’t fall or get hurt.
I’m Too Sexy
this is for @im-tops-bottom because of your Tony butt posts. Listen to the song guys, link’s here
It was Valentine’s Day, which meant love. It’s also when it started. He gotten an abundance of love letters this year and like the jack ass he is he was wearing a tee shirt that stated “I’m Too Sexy for my Sex”
He’d been sitting at the long dining table reading the letters when Quill came through with some of the team.
Quill: Hey isn’t that like a song or something? **gesturing to Tony’s tee**
Tony: **smirking** a variation, yes.
Bucky, Clint, Steve and Sam all smiling evilly.
Bruce is watching the others and KNOWS what they’re thinking, “Jarvis, if you could be so kind…”
**Music pumping over the speakers**
I’m too sexy for my love Too sexy for my love Love’s going to leave me…
I’m too sexy for my shirt Too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts And I’m too sexy for Milan Too sexy for Milan…
While the music plays Sam swipes the letters from the table, Bucky and Clint grab Tony, and Steve rips Tony’s tee open.
Tony: HEY WHAT THE HELL –
Bucky and Clint lift Tony onto the table and then everyone quickly claims a seat.
…New York, and Japan I’m too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party No way I’m disco dancing…
At this point Tony realizes what they want, and what the hell! He’s in a good mood. He can put a show on.
‘Cause I’m a model, you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah, on the catwalk On the catwalk, yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk…
And Tony does, shaking it, working it, and strutting down the table like it was his stage and putting on a show as the boys hooted and hollered. That’s how Natasha and Pepper found them and they joined in, throwing money as he put on a show.
He’s at a car show the next time it happens.
He was walking past his car featured, the convertible Audi R8 Spyder, looking sexy in his jeans and leather jacket when the boys saw him. Tony blames Natasha for getting Stephen Strange involved. Because one minutes he’s standing by his sexy ass car, talking to some fans and the next thing he knows, his shirt is missing, there’s a hat on his head, and theirs a catwalk under his feet with I’m Too Sexy blasting from the surround sound.
He glares down Strange, Lang, Rogers, and Barnes. He feels defeat when his sugar plum breaks out in hysterical laughter (he hates when Rhodey and Pepper play catch up) Accepting his fate and ignoring all the camera flashes, he takes to the catwalk.
I’m too sexy for my car Too sexy for my car Too sexy by far And I’m too sexy for my hat…
He sends the hat on his hat sailing into the gathered audience, some girl – IS THAT NATASHA!?!?!? – catches it.
…Too sexy for my hat What do you think about that? ‘Cause I’m a model, you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah, on the catwalk On the catwalk, yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk…
He is actually going to kill all of them later and no one will find the remains. It takes three months for the media to stop running the tapes from the Car Show. It takes another SIX MONTHS for the modeling agencies to stop calling (only because Tony blocked all the numbers and changed all his contact numbers)
He should have seen it coming. The battle had ended when he heard a sound. A kitten, a god damn kitten was stuck and Tony just happened to be standing nearby to hear it and save the little guy. Stepping out of the Iron Man Armor and onto the street in his body suit to pick up a kitten was the worst mistake he ever made.
Wanda’s red magic wrapped around him and lifted on top of a nearby city bus. The Avengers, SHIELD agents, city cops and remaining civilians gathered around.
He’s not sure who said it but that person will never see the light of day again, “HIT IT JARVIS!”
Tony, horror faced, “JARVIS NO–”
I’m too sexy for my love Too sexy for my love Love’s going to leave me…
The crowd around him cheered, everyone coming in close to watch him. When he saw Hulk marching over he thought for sure he would be saved!
“METAL MAN TOO SEXY FOR KITTY, GIVE HULK.” The crowd roared.
Handing over the cat, Tony took a very calming breath before taking a pose.
Too sexy for my cat Too sexy for my cat Poor pussy Poor pussy cat I’m too sexy for my love Too sexy for my love Love’s going to leave me
And I’m too sexy for this song.
It’s official, Tony Stark was taking up a life of crime. He was selling the company, going dark side, taking over the world, everything. And when he does this, his first order of business was to wipe that stupid ass song from all planes of existence.
THANK YOU !!
Shout out to my luvv followers, you guys are amazing!! This is where I come to escape and it’s an honor that 3,000 people like my posts/content!
Love you guys!
Let’s play 20 tag and tag I’m it
Was tagged by @im-tops-bottom so here we go.. a small get to know me
Name: Rachel but normally online I go by Ray Ray, Ray, or Ivory
Zodiac sign: Scorpio
Height: 5'5 I think
Languages: English, took Spanish in High School but that’s it. But I’d love to learn other languages.
Nationality: African American and White. (I’m pretty sure my mom’s side is french decent?)
Favorite fruit: Pineapple
Favorite scent: Overall Honey Vanilla, but I live in bath and body works so my top two there are Japanese Cherry Blossom and Beautiful Day.
Favorite color: Black, but technically it’s ‘not a color’ so green.
Favorite animal: Elephants for life, I’m a collector but I love Rhinos as well. But I love so many others but those are my top two.
Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Coffee - very litte, a cup here or there but mostly morning blend with A LOT of Hazelnut creamer or French Vanilla Cappuccino from Wawa. Tea - not anymore. Hot chocolate on cold winter days with whip cream.
Favorite fictional character: Tony Stark since 2010. (if i say anymore we’ll be here all day.)
Dream trip: Probably a summer cruise to Alaska or a chance to see and explore Rome.
When blog was created: I think sometime in 2016?
Last movie seen: I’m pretty sure it was either the new one in theaters Tag or Tarzan on Netflix.
Song you’ve had on repeat these days: Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato and River by Bishop Briggs
Favorite candy: Grape Lollipops.
Favorite holiday: Normally I say Fourth of July but this will be the third year I don’t celebrate it (busy the past two and going to Sam Smith concert this week.) so let’s say Halloween, it’s fun and it’s also my birthday.
… _ _ _ …
Feel Free to ignore this, I’m posting this so my followers can know a little bit more about me..
Tagging: @natwinchester46 @aflores98 @ash339273-blog @pritha2001 @hopelessly-inzayn @proud-plant-parent @akumainoue
Status and Vote
Status: Currently Working on a Smut 69 Sex week and I am pushing myself to get this done in time. I have all day tomorrow to work on this and I need a little help.
One of the days has me bouncing between two ships. ThunderIron (Thor and Tony) or IronStrange (Stephen and Tony)
Vote: please comment, direct message, reblog, anon msg me your vote. Thank you to anyone who votes, I think you’re going to like what I’ve got coming.
Feeling salty about this trending thing so I’m posting petty Tony, cause slay queen it’s your birthday.
--Steve calls Tony’s cell cause he’s not answering the burner he sent him--
Tony: This is Stark
Steve: Tony...
Tony: Yes, that is I. Who’s this?
Steve: Really Tony? It’s me.
Tony: I’m sorry I don’t know a Steve Me. I think you have the wrong number.”
-CLICK-
Steve is irritated. This is serious, he’s trying to be serious. This is about the team and their next step. He calls back.
Tony: This is-
Steve: Tony. Enough, it’s Steve Rogers, we need to-
Tony: I’m sorry, you said Steve Rogers? Hold please.
Steve: **doesn’t** What! Tony, I’m not going to hold. We need to talk about this already. Look I said I was sorry can’t we just-
Some Woman: Hello?
Steve: Who’s this? Where’s Tony? Pepper, is that you? Put Tony back on the phone please.
Some Woman: Sorry Mister be he’s gone.
Steve: What do you mean? Look lady, just give the phone back to Tony.
Lady: I don’t know what to tell you Mister, Mr. Stark just handed me this cell phone as he walked past me and then kept going. Is this some sort of test?
Steve: What? No.
Lady: Oh... well Mr. Stark said I could keep the phone so I am. Bye Mister.
..
Two blocks away, Tony taps on the com in his ear.
Tony: FRIDAY?
FRIDAY: Yes Boss?
Tony: Be a doll and delete anything personal off that phone. Also text my new phone number to our inner circle. Don’t want just anybody getting a hold of us do we?
FRIDAY: Of course not, your new phone will be on your desk when you get home.
Tony: Thank you baby girl, you’re the best.
