“ i can’t have a b , ” brian felt his resolve crumbling , the walls he had built up were no longer reenforced . there was so much pressure from the world that it squeezed at his skin and pushed him downward . he sniffled , trying to keep his eyes from welling , but he can’t help it . he had repressed the feelings for so long that they are just bursting through the seams , and the cracks , gushing forward without warning . the tears fall down his cheeks and he just lets them , trying to avoid johnny’s gaze . “ i’m just under so much pressure , y’know ? and people just don’t get it . they look at me and see someone whose so smart and everything comes to them so easily -- and that’s not the case . ” there’s a hard set line to his jaw , keeping his voice form wavering . in some ways it felt good to talk about it , to relieve some of the weight that had made an indentation in his chest . brian ran a hand through his hair as if it might push those dark thoughts from his mind , as if it might relieve some of his worries . “ even if i work the rest of the year to bring that grade up . even if i ace it , i’ll never be able to get it to an a . and my parents will be - ” he can’t finish that sentence , sniffling again . he knows that they would be disappointed . that they would have expected more from him , and they will look at him as if he were lazy , unmotivated , or dumb . brian knew he wouldn’t be able to bear those looks , or that judgement . “ it’s going to ruin everything . ”