The Pearly Pearler of the East End
(To the tune of "Maybe It's Because I'm a Londoner")
(Verse 1) Down the Whitechapel Road where the costers would stride, You can see all the buttons and feel all the pride. There’s a flash in the grey as the music begins, For the grand Cockney parade of the Queens and the Kings!
(Chorus) Oh, tip your old titfer and give them a cheer! They’ve been walking these plates for many a year. With a smile on their clappers and hearts full of grace, The Pearly brigade brings a smile to your face!
(Verse 2) See the King step on out with his trouble and strife, The beautiful Queen who shares all of his life. In their fine whistle and flutes looking proper and grand, They wave to each china who holds out a hand.
(Verse 3) Like a galaxy trapped on a canvas of jet, Their clothes wear a history you'll never forget. The pearl buttons dance as they swallow the light, Shining silver and cream through the dark London night! Crimson feathers and velvet like rich summer wine, Make the patterns of horseshoes and anchors align. Every stitch tells a story, each shell is a spark, Crying out like a lantern to conquer the dark!
(Chorus) Oh, tip your old titfer and give them a cheer! They’ve been walking these plates for many a year. With a smile on their clappers and hearts full of grace, The Pearly brigade brings a smile to your face!
(Verse 4 - The Jellied Eel Feast) Then it's down to the stall for a proper good chew, With a bowl of wheels in a savory stew! With a splash of cold vinegar, peppery and bright, It's the true taste of London to end a grand night!
(Verse 5) They don't care for the beeswax or hoarding their wealth, They just want every soul to enjoy their good health. So pop down the rub-a-dub, order a beer, And drop some loose bees to spread some good cheer!
(Bridge) Have a look at their jackets, just see how they shine! Not a loaf in the crowd says "that money is mine." With a song in their hearts and a laugh in their eyes, Underneath the bright stars of the old London skies!
(Chorus) Oh, tip your old titfer and give them a cheer! They’ve been walking these plates for many a year. With a smile on their clappers and hearts full of grace, The Pearly brigade brings a smile to your face!
(Outro) So listen quite close to the tick of the clock, The pride of the East End from Bow to the dock! Cor blimey, what a sight!
Glossary of Cockney Rhyming Slang:
👕 Clothing & Appearance
Whistle and flute: Suit
Titfer (tat): Hat
Loaf (of bread): Head (referred to in the bridge regarding the crowd)
👥 People & Anatomy
Trouble and strife: Wife
China plate: Mate (friend, pal)
Plates (of meat): Feet
Clapper (bell): Mouth (specifically used for singing/speaking out)
💰 Money & Business
Beeswax: Cash / wealth
Bees (and honey): Money
🍺 Places & Social Life
Rub-a-dub: Pub / bar
Food
Wheels: jellied eels
