Thinking about how Haris' aspects/alters (specifically Michael and Lyspawn) crave the familiarity of the pain of their past. How Haris himself still craves to be nothing but a puppet to Kingsley again, how he desperately wishes he could go back to being broken because its so much more familiar then this new feeling of being whole, of having agency.
How Michael actively seeks to reignite their relationship with their father because he feels like their father was correct and also because he craves the snese of routine their father gave. How he wishes, desperately, to go back to that because despite the pain he knew it. He understood it.
I also think about how Lyspawn whenever he pops up in rps always craves the abuse and training and relentless pain they went through because he loves rigidity. He loves being the dog, who didn't have to be anything but a dog. Because he knows what he is now is just some pale comparison to the saint, to Haris, to the complete identity in them he will never be.