"They're doing it the regular way again, this year."
Flux's expression and tone suggested that the comment was an observation, an offhanded thought, but his posture and body language said it was anything but. Her normally rascally, playful brother was sitting stiff as a rail, his fists clenching and releasing at his sides.
Joule reached over, putting a calming hand on his arm. "I'm sure it will be fine. I've made it this far without being Reaped. And I've never had to take out any Terrasse. It will be just like every other year." She tried to smile, but knew it didn't look very convincing.
Ever since the victory tour a few weeks prior, everyone had been on edge. While the entirety of District 5 had been spared last Games, she knew that they would once again be at risk for the 18th Games. Flux had lucked out with last year being the last time he would ever be considered to be Reaped.
"Yeah." She wasn't really sure what to say to him. She could tell his mind was going a million miles a minute, but how could she comfort him? After all, it was her neck on the chopping block if, by some crazy unlikely possibility that her name was pulled out of the clear glass bowl tomorrow.
They sat in silence, staring down at the generators below them. From a young age, the two of them loved climbing on things, and that hadn't ever changed. All four of the Alvarez children could climb up the warehouse walls and hang from the rafters. People rarely noticed them up there, and Joule especially loved the view of all of the generators from so high up.
Their silence was broken when he suddenly spoke, turning to look at her for the first time. "I'd volunteer for you, you know? I would in a heart beat. Me, Torque and Pascal. If we could, we'd make sure you'd never have to go."
She smiled slightly, "I know. My name is in that bowl six times. That's all. I doubt I'll be Reaped, though." She looked out at the warehouse. "And even if I did, would it really matter?" She had meant to say that quietly, but with nothing more than the low whirring below them, her words seemed to echo across the room.
Flux's eyes widened almost comically as his mouth dropped open. "J- Joule!"
She huffed, "Am I wrong, though? If I get Reaped, at least I'd be put out of my misery!" She knew she should just stop talking, that she would only upset him, but she couldn't help it. While she never wanted to be the type of girl who was hung up on falling in love, she really was that type. "I'm never going to have the chance to fall in love and get married and have a family, Flux. When you and Pascal and Torque get married, I'll be left alone. I won't have anyone!"
Her brother looked away, an expression of conflict on his face, as if he couldn't decide whether to say something. In fact, it reminded her of when he had failed Circuits a few years back. When he said nothing, she just gave a derisive laugh and looked away from him.
She could feel a burning sensation behind her eyes and frowned. It was the first time she had ever admitted that maybe she wasn't okay with hiding away her feelings. That for the first time in years, she didn't value her mother's approval and happiness above her own. Was it really so bad? As the silence stretch on she could feel her frustration build. "You know what, never mind. Just forget I said an-"
Her words were cut off by her brother suddenly speaking. "You don't have to hide anymore." This time it was her eyes that widened comically.
"W-what?"
He took a deep breath, before speaking. "I- I've been talking to Torque and Pascal. We've seen what hiding has done to you, how it's changed you. We- we're all of age now and free of the fears of being Reaped. Torque's been saving his money, was all have but him especially, so that, if mom is still upset and there's a fall out, we'll have a back up plan."
Joule stared at him completely stunned. Of all of the possible things he could have said, that wasn't one she could have ever thought of. While she knew that her brother's didn't care about her sexuality, she had no idea that they were willing to lose their mother just to keep her happy. That they wouldn't blame her for their mother leaving them if she stepped out of line.
"I- I-" She didn't even know what to say. It felt like a weight had been lifted and she could feel the familiar burn behind her eyes again, but for an entirely different reason from earlier.
He wrapped an arm around her. "You don't to say anything, little sister. We love you, okay? We love you and we accept you, even if mom doesn't, so you just need to put those thoughts of being happy you might get Reaped right out of your head, okay?"
Nodding, she hid her face in his shoulder, trying not to cry. This was a good thing, wasn't it? Her brothers had banded together to make sure she could be herself. As she leaned into her Flux's comforting, she knew one thing. From now on, she didn't have to be afraid of losing her brothers, as well as her mother.
A clock chimed in the distance signaling the end of Flux's lunch break and the two of them clambered back down to the floor. With a last hug they parted ways, Joule feeling freer than she had in years. Where she went from here, the opportunities were endless and for the first time in years, she felt a glimmer of hope.
