Five Things This Bisexual Feminist Wants You to Know About Pride
As I’m sure a lot of you are aware, June is celebrated as Pride Month in many parts of the world. These celebrations often include parades, rainbow colored EVERYTHING and heaps of social media posts reveling in everything LGBTQIA+. For a lot of people, Pride is a party – and rightly so. In a world that blatantly aims to keep us down, rejoicing in our lives and livelihoods is a form of resistance in and of itself. It’s important for us to let loose and have fun sometimes, to recharge and remind ourselves why we fight the good fight. However, during Pride Month (and really, all year round) it is equally critical to remember the painful parts of our history. Pride exists because people fought and died for a future we have yet to fully realize. As a part of this remembrance, it is imperative to highlight the ways in which various oppressed identities overlap and interact with LGBTQIA+ identities. By this statement, I simply mean we must remember and celebrate the black, trans, bisexual women who started Pride and continue fighting every day to ensure a safer future for all LGBTQIA+ people.
My last point is also significant to our understandings of feminism. Feminism must include a space for people from different oppressed minorities. My personal feminism is so tightly entwined with my identity as a bisexual person, it is nearly impossible to extract them. And those are only two of my many identities (which range from highly privileged to marginalized). So, while this piece isn’t directed specifically towards gender equality, I believe in my heart it is still “feminist”. Feminist movements must inextricably bind themselves to LGBTQIA+ rights movements. In the same vein, they must also join with anti-racist activism, disability activism, etc. As the famous slogan goes, our feminism must be intersectional, or it is bullshit. Whether you consider yourself a member of the LGBTQIA+ community or are just trying to better ally yourself with us, this article will hopefully resonate with you. It is only a short list and would benefit from additions from our lovely readers. So, feel free to comment things you want the world to about the LGBTQIA+ community. But, without further ado, here are my top five things I want everyone to know about Pride!
Image Description: The bisexual flag, which has a fat red stripe at the top, fat blue stripe on the bottom and a thinner purple stripe in the middle.
1. All M-Spec identities are valid and deserve a place in Pride celebrations. For those of you who don’t know, M-Spec is a term used to describe the multi-gender spectrum of attraction. It’s another, more inclusive way of talking about identities which fall under the “bi umbrella.” It includes bisexual people, pansexual people, polysexual people and anyone else who is attracted to two or more genders and wants to be included! There’s a lot of discourse about this subject, even within the LGBTQIA+ community. But Pride was started by a bisexual woman and I firmly believe she would have been inclusive of her M-Spec family (https://www.advocate.com/bisexuality/2014/06/17/remembering-brenda-ode-%E2%80%98mother-pride%E2%80%99).
2. No cops at pride. This point is another tenuous topic of discussion and has ended more than one friendship. But I think it’s important to state and even more important to analyze. The original pride was a riot, a protest specifically AGAINST the police state. It was meant to bring light to the very real, very visceral harm cops have done (and continue to do) to LGBTQIA+ people, especially BIPOC (black, indigenous people of color). I have heard all the counter-arguments and, for the most part, understand where people are coming from. But LGBTQIA+ people have the right to be fearful and distrustful of cops. Large masses of cops at pride don’t actually help keep any of us safe. There are better ways of creating and maintaining safe spaces for the LGBTQIA+ community (http://www.aaronxrose.com/blog/alternatives-to-police).
Image Description: Photo of a crowd of people holding up protest signs and the LGBTQIA+ flag. They are standing behind red police tape. Two police officers are standing in the road on the left side of the photo.
3. Our Pride celebrations absolutely MUST be accessible. This means, at the very least, wheelchair accessible venues and toilets, sign language translators, accessible parking spots, among many other examples. I would also personally love to see accommodations made for autistic people at Pride events. The crossover between autistic people and LGTQIA+ people is huge, and we deserve to feel comfortable and safe at big events like Pride.
4. Please don’t assume “straight-looking” people are just allies and/or don’t belong at pride. I personally don’t mind cishetallo (cis, hetereosexual, allosexual, aka the opposite of asexual) people attending Pride events if they are aware of their place there. I enjoy bringing my straight boyfriend to Pride festivities and sharing that part of my life with him. However, just because you see a couple comprised of what you assume to be a “boy” and “girl”, it does not mean they aren’t part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Firstly, people you perceive to be one gender could be another/ non-gendered. I’m thinking especially of my nonbinary pals here. Second, one or both parts of a couple could fall under the M-Spec umbrella. Lastly, people could be questioning their sexual and gender identities. It’s not your (or our) place to judge people or interrogate their reasonings for being at Pride. As long as they are being respectful of the space, just live and let live!
Image Description: Photo of someone holding up a large, white sheet attached to two wooden poles. The middle of the sheet is painted messily in the colors of the rainbow. White, black letters are stenciled in the paint. They read “Love is love.”
5. If you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, whatever that means to you, you deserve love, happiness and to feel safe. I wanted this last one to just be a shout out to my fellow LGBTQIA+ folks. I see you, I hear you, I want to validate the fuck out of you. Pride isn’t always a feel good, amazing time for all LGBTQIA+ people. If it’s not for you, please don’t feel bad. Whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your emotional state, do that. If celebrating who you are means watching your favorite show on Netflix all weekend in bed, that’s perfectly alright. No two of us are the same, and we are every single one of us amazing and wonderful. Yes, you too. Sending my love your way and hoping you find it in your heart to love yourself a bit more this month.
By: Brittany L.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of the Sydney Feminists. Our Blogger and Tumblr serve as platforms for a diverse array of women to put forth their ideas and explore topics. To learn more about the philosophy behind TSF’s Blogger/ Tumblr, please read our statement here: https://www.sydneyfeminists.org/a
