#m.j.b.p

[cigano171]

Happiness in certain time of our life we should check what make us happy and try to understand what doest mean happiness for you my happiness is just believe i will finish that day and nothing will get worse. M.J.B.P

[cigano171]

la voyage of mr rascal

mr. rascal made a trip to a heart of happyland with no money or love with no compassion or nostalgic feelings for who he left behind mr.rascal made a trip with no place to stay or friends around mr r.ascal made a trip with no hope no hope in happy land?? yes indeed he did mr rascal love paradox mr rascal has no face mr rascal is you.

M.J.B.P

[cigano171]

THE PRETTIEST ROAD IN THE WORLD

I went once to brazil after 8 years locked in a island. Brazil did not change much after all those years. still hot as hell dirty as aways no equal rights at all Brazil didn’t change but i did all those people suffering for one side and all those people Lough in other hurt my mind a lot i remember in my childhood in brazil which wasn’t faire tale but wasn’t a nightmare as well but  i could not fell all that diference which i felt in this time in brazil i flew from rio de janeiro to Sao paulo to around minas to around the cost but nothing hurt me like in Rio grande do sul capital i went to that place to make a company to my wife she had business  to do there. we stayed at one hostel in a cool area which call Moinhos the place was cool ,with tress and a cool bar just at the hostel my wife was out all day,and i was by myself what i was doing was,wake up,shower,and straight to the bar and been drinking for all day time to time i had a desire to walk around but  not everyday but i did couple of times one day i decided to meet the acclaimed the most pretty road in the world. i walk between those roads full of expensive cars and handsome guys and pretty girls till i found it the road wasn’t what i expect was just a road full of trees was pleasure to walk over there but that road wasn’t the prettiest road wasn’t even the most interesting road in the world wasn’t even the most pleasure walk i have done in road in whole world was just walked all the road thirsty for a drink the road didn’t have not even a bar,pub,bodega nothing no soul. in the end of that road i found a hill i turned downhill to try to find my holly grail of beer and what i found is what shook me from the toe to the point of my longest dread. in the end of this road i met the prettiest roads of the city, that was the reality of brazil loads of crack heads,prostitutes,homeless,thieves,but i felt much good over there i didn’t know why. but i felt found a pub dirty one with a lot o drunk guys around was a fat black woman behind the bar. sat there and asked for the  coldest beer - wanna just a drink or do you want some fun -just beer for while she smiled for me  front teeth less i liked her soul that road was the prettiest i been in brazil. M.J.B.P

[cigano171]

#44 tina

#44

TINA

one of my days i never gonna forgot is the day i met Tina.

Tina was a young italian  economist  student in london,she had everything i use to like,pretty face,big lips,alive eyes,and a figure of a porn actress,but not everything in the world is just  flowers, she had a loads of grief,her english was terrible and meanwhile she was trying to express her self she was making so many kind of gesturing which  was driving me mad(not her english the gesturing).poor little creature,a little miserable one. i could not deal with that anymore,but just for lust sake i invite her to mine,as a excuse of we carry on our exciting conversation(i could be a good liar if i want to)

A desire of pleasure is a big will in the mind of a human been,that felling destroy everything you believe,and burn your moral to ground.

on that days i use to live with people same like me,i meant filth,no morals,no believes and no faith in better days.

we reach my house about 2 o’clock,connor still awake in the living room talking shit with one his mates,connor was a ginger cunt,thief,liar and irish

,he’s mate i didn’t know him 

but i could tell  just looking in his freckles sad ginger face he had the same qualification the connor, i pass trough then without a word 

_sup big J,why don’t to you make a miracle for us and transform the water in wine,or just give some of that booze in you bag

-nope

-come on man pray honour your name 

-my name???

_Master black will(nigga your grandiosity growing badly)

he went on his knees

_please our majesty,spear some drinks

no ,your silly baboon shit,i have no time for your diarrhoea 

we cross the living room went straight to my little gas chamber

we didn’t talk at all 

was just passion

we made sex for whole night and  day 

with short stops for drink cheap cognac and coke.

after all of that i come back to my reality and have some thoughts about Tina,but never call her ,was just some sake of pleasure.

after two weeks ,she call me

we met at a bar close to my house,talk about how we hate hippies and hipsters.

Tina was a real woman,with all the qualities which you expect in a descent  woman

but her gestures was driving me crazy 

and after 3 more dates,i dumped her for good.

she accept that better than i thought 

and

i carry on my vain life

after 3 months i  had dumped Tina, i met her in a pub in east london

her english was way better,her body still stemming  hot.

she smiled for me with a sad eyes

she told me about her days and how she missed me

i was just quite with no expression or feelings about all that situation

meanwhile she was trying to explain me that

her gesturing was even worse

i guess she was nervous

_you have no feelings for me at all?(her left hand was in the air and the right one was  clipping  the air)

_i guess we are just good lovers,nothing more the lovers

_but camon jesus we can make that work(her right hand was waving like she was a  director  in a grand orchestra)

Was just sex babe,you are super hot,but all he had, was just sex

now she was on tears,and i couldn’t even think about some one really love’s me to the point

of

 could cry

-Do you know jesus,you are a lie

-everything on you is just a lie

-you meant i’m a liar?

-No boy ,you are a personification of a lie,you are the lie(in the that time she wasn’t gesturing anymore,god blessed me)

-even your pretty face,that  is not yours 

-you get that for some one else

-and put on the hole you have in the top of your neck

-all your thoughts is a lie 

you borrowed that from some smart ass book

-you really believe you are superior

-but you are not

-you aways  pretending all the time

-you are not happy with yourself

-why don’t you take off your mask , and let me love you?

-No

-no time for that, we are good lovers darling 

-that is it

-and about i be a lie

i accept 

-the true just hurt the liar

-and following my thoughts i couldn’t be a lie

-could i?

don’t answer please

-i have no time for your garbage

-about to my happiness

-I’m happy 

-you are not

i left her in tears without a short notice.

i went to the bar got my pint,shot that in two goes

and left the place

Never saw her again,i remember tina as a good wish which you have when your a teenager,you wish a good looking woman independent and doesn’t bother you

 you really don’t  mind if is she is smart or not.

she was kind of like that for me.

But Tina change me in certain point

she show me who i really was.

and i start to 

believe

and even worse

i began to

 worship myself.

M.J.B.P

[cigano171]

#27 jenny

#27

Jenny

Then she said again…

she speaks of love

i had haven seen that scene i couple of times before

euston cheap hotel room

i was sat on the bed topless 

-but i love you

- no you don’t 

i said

-why do you doubt my love?

-why do you doubt my denial?

-because i know what i felling right now

-what you felling is not love is just i feline will

-what you felling honey honey is just flesh desire,

-and you believe this is love

she was in tears,and attempt to beat me

 i was watching  all the situation with no passion

that room was stank by the way,i guess was the cockroach poison which was spread all over the room

or maybe  men poison

maybe was her who stank hate right now

maybe was me who never had a felling for her and in certain point the rotten my soul 

and flesh.

meanwhile she was hitting  me i notice a blood stain, on the sheets 

i wanna leave this place

-honey let’s go to a bar

-you know i cannot drink anymore

she was diagnosed with diabetes weeks earlier 

-leave the drinks with me darling.

-come on dress up!!

-ok

on the door of that filth place she smiled for me, with the eyes full of tears,poor little gazelle  she didn’t know ,that was the last time her lay the eyes on me.

M.J.B.P