Fictober Day 1: "that was nice work"
"So, you don't have any ideas...?" Dipper asked, looking at his sister lying face down on the bed.
The last week had been a bit overwhelming between college applications and all the requests. Both with the mindset that among so many letters they could achieve something good.
While Dipper had finished his part a few days ago, Mabel had one last one left. According to her, she had left the last one for the end, but at the same time the most complicated.
Which meant a week full of painting disasters and bad sculptures that ended up in the trash, hours of cleaning and her so frustrated that she stopped talking for hours. And now she only had 48 hours to send something, otherwise Chicago would be ruled out and the chances of a university would decrease.
And Dipper could only be there, he had helped as much as he could no matter if that meant ending up in a silly argument with her or whatever. He hated seeing every piece she spent hours working on in pieces because something wasn't right or the frustration. Hearing her feel like she wasn't good enough or just a mess broke him. But he couldn't do more. He didn't have her skill, and there were times when he wished he could do that job for her, he wished he could save her from that frustration where at times she said that maybe art wasn't for her.
And now they were both in her room, he rested his hand on her head, a few minutes ago they had finished fixing the mess in the garage that their father would surely kill them if he had only seen a part. The only good thing is that they had learned to remove shiny papier-mâché from the ceiling effectively. And the reminder that maybe sometimes there is too much glitter.
They reviewed Mabel's list of ideas again, maybe a few hours of rest would fix everything, after all they had too much free time before going back to school, but they didn't say the same thing with the application letter attaching some work.
Complicated...
Mabel, for her part, didn't care how many hours she dedicated. Notebooks full of sketches, loose sheets scattered everywhere. More and more cross-outs. Too much garbage for so few days.
Not to mention the pressure from her parents and now she had a limited time.
It was impossible to sleep, it was impossible not to feel so small in something she had desired so much and in the end she could do nothing. She looked at the clock every fifteen minutes, or when she thought an eternity had passed rolling around in bed wishing for dawn to appear. But only a few hours had passed.
She had no choice but to get up. Today would be another one of those nights where her thoughts seemed to float everywhere, mixing them with her stealth so as not to wake anyone up or alert anyone. Thinking of another option that she would discard in the next few hours and pretending to be sleeping like a "normal person".
What she didn't expect was that this time someone would hear her. When she noticed his presence at the entrance of her half-open door, who passed slowly and sat on the floor next to her.
“Hey…”
He said, still with tired eyes and his hair tousled. She could almost feel guilty for waking him up.
“I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep, I'm just…”
“I know, I know. It's not the first time I've heard you, but I always thought you needed your space. Today I think I'm not going to make an exception…”
“It was a disaster…”
“No, it wasn't. You're demanding too much of yourself these days. I can understand that in part but you need to stop…”
She looked at him while he just looked away at the drafts and all the notebooks scattered around them.
“I'm not good enough for Chicago”
“You're wrong, stop denying that. It was your first choice and then more came out and you left this for the end... Mabel I don't understand wh-”
At that moment all of Dipper's thoughts seemed to form just one, silence had taken over the whole room and he slowly turned his face to look at his sister. She covered her mouth with her hand, trembled as her eyes were covered with tears threatening to come out at any moment.
"Are you refusing to go? Do you understand that this could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? And then what?"
She said, turning around and covering herself with her hair.
"You can't refuse to go... Why?"
"It's too far away... I can't..."
"I don't understand..."
"I can't, Mason! I can't imagine being miles away in an empty room or with strangers and having to imagine that you can write to me or that at some point you'll be as busy as I am and the messages will be so scarce and the calls non-existent and we'll only see each other in this house once or twice a year. That everything ends up like that and the routine and all these years leave us only as acquaintances. But I can't force you to give up what you can have, I did it once, I wouldn't forgive myself if I did it again..."
"No, wait, wait. If you're referring to Ford, you didn't force me to do anything, I wasn't losing a big opportunity, Mabel, what we have isn't going to fall apart in messages that aren't received or calls that never happen. And I doubt that will happen. What we have is stronger than all the kilometers you want to add, everything you want to sum up. It's not going to end. Don't think about it. You've been sabotaging yourself with fears that you shouldn't have. Tell me, who else would help you take papier-mâché off the ceiling?"
Mabel wiped away her tears as she let out a laugh. She didn't know how long she had been with those thoughts, how long she had kept everything that soon seemed to disappear into the air when her brother threw himself at her, hugging her tightly while whispering that everything would be alright.
For Dipper, it had been getting lost in her words, and all that worry. Having her held against him feeling her heart racing, remembering all the sleepless nights he seemed to hear, and all that frustration for every piece in the trash that he would be capable of going to the dump just to remind her that everything she did was really valuable. And not just for him. At that moment he could only assure himself that he would be capable of anything for her, so that she would never be on the floor crying, if he had to drive miles once they were separated just to show her that he would never abandon her, no matter what he would do it a thousand times and more. He loved her more than anything in the world, no one would love anything or anyone like all the affection he had for Mabel.
It was too much...
He took her face in both hands, kissing her forehead, kissing the tip of her nose and ending on her lips. Softly he knew he had made a mistake.
He thought about it the next morning. Mabel had left early according to what his mother had said, she hadn't answered any of his messages. And it was better not to talk about calls. He still remembered her surprised eyes, while Dipper couldn't form a single sentence. He had ruined it. He was scared when he got up and left his room. He didn't even have the courage to see her one more time and now he was regretful. But what could he say to his mother? He could only wait.
Wait until noon without any answer. Wait until sunset without any answer. Wait in the middle of the night without any answer.
His parents acted as an intercom, saying she was fine and would be back any minute. How was it possible that they were so calm?
He had messed it up, he didn't have the courage to approach her when she looked at him, to say something to her and the promise he had made to her in her room seemed to have shattered along with everything else.
But Mabel also announced that she had submitted her application to Chicago. She had been working on it. Without him…
It was no surprise to either of their parents that both twins were accepted where they had primarily applied. The miles had begun to distance them without even moving them from place. It was a huge crack.
It was no surprise either that Mabel's painting was being exhibited in a room with others to present to the "new" candidates at the university and that the family decided to join the exhibition and she could see it and have an integration meeting as soon as possible.
Dipper just dragged his feet without complaining or giving any opinion. He was very happy for her. And at the same time he felt heartbroken.
The art gallery wasn't very big, it was lit by the top windows where sunlight came in, there were a few people. Maybe it was still early.
His parents had stayed outside talking to other adults and he had decided to go in alone. He no longer wanted to wonder where his sister was.
His thoughts died when he was in front of the painting, the one he had felt displaced from, the one that had ruined everything, the one his sister had never told him about.
It was a view of trees from the ground, only a few crowns could be admired and the leaves covering everything around, tinged green, yellow and red all around, the sun seemed to want to enter but they were only illuminated leaves, and in the center you could see two hands, two people, he had seen a similar scene hundreds of times but that one took him back to "Gravity Falls" to the hours lost in the woods, between the supernatural and between each adventure that simply united him more to her.
On the edge of that painting you could read "Forever".
The crack had disappeared at that moment, all his fears disappeared and Mabel's voice behind him took him out of that trance.
“You took me by surprise the first time, I'm sorry I should have told you something but I really wanted to surprise you too”
“W-What?”
Dipper turned around seeing her smile almost melancholically, he hugged her again. It was as if centuries ago he had lost her presence, and he understood all her fears. But at the same time he remembered that no matter what happened he was never going to let that happen.
“Are they going to sell this?”
“Some of them are, and others aren't.”
“Yours, Mabs?”
“You mean yours... it's for you…”
“No..”
“I couldn't put into words what happened that night, before you left, I couldn't tell you anything, then I tried to clear my mind and then I just painted something that made me happy, something where I could throw everything I felt at that moment.”
Dipper just smiled imagining that painting that would go with him when the time came, that would shorten all the miles, he thought about plans to not only see each other at home but about the thousands of adventures they could have once they were out of the house and he thought about Mabel, how much he loved her and that he would.
