Apr 5, 2017
cosas que no extrañaré de la universidad: las lacrimógenas
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cosas que no extrañaré de la universidad: las lacrimógenas
When writing about Apple, it’s important to remove any extraneous contextual information so as to pretend there are no outside factors. That’s just how science works. Any astrologer will tell you that.
The Macalope: Headline doom: The iPhone’s success dooms Apple
Wealthy white men who are into cars? What are the odds?!
The Macalope
The Macalope:
So, let’s get this straight. Out of the box Android phones can be infected, but only jailbroken iPhones can be. Now, if you’re new around here you may not be aware that Android phones have more market share than the iPhone. It’s true. The iPhone’s market share is in the teens while Androids is, like, 4,000 percent or something. Jailbroken iPhones, in turn, represent a very small percentage of all iPhones. So, you kind of have to wonder which phones are really getting hacked in greater numbers here. Let us now return to the headline of this article: “Hackers Target Hong Kong Protesters via iPhones.” What a long, twisted journey it’s been since then. Feels like ages ago! You looked so young! You’ve put on weight since we read that headline. But it looks good on you.
The Macalope:
This is how Android fans see iPhone owners: victims suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. How their heads don’t explode from the cognitive dissonance of boosting a platform controlled by an advertising company bent on collecting more and more of their personal information the Macalope will never know.
Yep.
Please name one—just one—game-changing device from any of Apple’s competitors since the iPhone was released.
The Macalope
Yes, kids, in just three easy lessons, you can make anything be about Apple! News about Samsung? No, it’s about Apple! News about Facebook? No, it’s about Apple! News about the scientific properties of magnetism? NO, IT’S ABOUT APPLE!
This week’s dose of stupid apple reporting on the Internet.
This week, Apple reported results that would be the envy of any other company in technology—or, well, in any industry other than oil and gas. So, naturally, people are calling for Tim Cook to be fired.
So much stupid around the Internet.