Mar 29, 2021
Ezra Maclovio Smith
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Ezra Maclovio Smith
My mom doesn't get it. She blames me for absolutely everything that even she's sometimes guilty of. For example, she has had many suicide attempts. In fact I've found her many times after she has attempted. I was 6 years old the first time I found her like that. Yet, I am always there for her. always. Therapists and I think since I saw it so many times as a child, I learned it as a coping mechanism. So I have landed in the hospital many times for the same thing, but when she even (1/?) -MacLovin
(2/?) MacLovin - bothers to come and see me, she yells at me and blames me. She says that blame has helped her not do it again, so therefore it will help me. But it doesn’t. And each time I try to explain that to her, she gets defensive like I’m accusing her. I’m not, I’m just trying to explain that blame doesn’t help me, especially while I’m in crisis. She continues not to be here for me. And I’m not even living with her anymore! 2 days before my 18th and 5 days before I graduated, she had meput into juvi because I was defending myself when she was fighting with me. I still have that DV charge on my record and probation for another year. In that time, I was locked in isolation for 40 something hours, had to see a DMHP (Designated Mental Health Professional) and he sent me to a hospital where I turned 18, was sent to a psych ward where I missed my graduation, and became homeless in that time. And she STILL doesn’t care! For the brother thing, my brother has always been (3/?) -MacLoviThe perfect child, at least to my mom. Straight A’s, had a girlfriend for 4 years in high school, got into a good college, a great musician, and overall a nice person. But my mom neglected to see the dark side of him, too. He has had a drug problem since middle school, and he’s asking for 400 dollars for rent each month which my mom pays, but he works full time and his rent is like 650. I doubt that he has only 250 for rent, and I know he’s been shooting up heroin so that’s (4/?) -MacLovinprobably where the money is going to. Also he got a car for his 16th and I got 20 dollars, and a 4,000 dollar cello for his graduation present and I didn’t get anything, as well as my 18th. I’m sorry if I sound spoiled, but it’s not just the things my brother gets. It’s the love and attention and pride she consistently sees in him and doesn’t even try to see in me. I just want someone in my life to care. But it feels like no one does right now, not even my mom. (5/5) -MacLovin
MacLovin,
That sounds like a really hard and difficult situation... it seems like your mom is definitely playing favourites.... :/ I’m so sorry that you’ve gone through all of this... It must really suck having a mother who doesn’t seem to care about you... As for your brother, that’s really tough having someone spoil your siblings... I know how it feels to have the short stick and it sucks. I’m sorry that you have to go through this....
How are you doing mental health wise? (Just wondering because stuff like this can REALLY take a toll on your mental health)
I hope your situation gets better, love.
<3 Emily
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