The longing for a girlhood I'll force myself to have.
The dresses, the skirts, the whirls, and the applause. Not, it's not that.
It's the unfiltered questions answered in the bathroom, casually shared lipstick, giggles underneath a blanket at a sleepover, or the unwavering girl code in the, 'check me.'
Then it's the bikinis and hot summer tan, all screaming coming of age. The explored fashion that becomes popularity and teenage hierarchy, the, 'you're not best friends if you haven't shared a kiss!'
Then there's the intimacy. Even if it's just friendly. Brushing each other's hair, posing all over each other, deep talks in each other eyes? Guys are all over toxic masculinity that the meaning of guy hood — if there is one is to just have a dick and fuck everyone else over with it.
Yes, girls can fatshame, slutshame, turn all her friends against her, but it's the very fact that it's all emotional and thought through.
I want to be someone's girl. Their sweetheart, bought flowers, cherished. Of course, you'll all fault me for thinking about it too traditionally until you realize everything is literally traditional. Even if you become more mature, grow and learn to develop a mindset where the patriarchy can fuck itself — it's rooted in literally everything.
Jokes, clothes, and so much more. The concept of 'pussy' meaning weak when you can fit a whole human through it and the whole shoulder shit at school with the girls when guys don't have to face repercussions. "You can't fight her, she's a girl,"is also misogynistic but fair. Testosterone and estrogen levels starchly different.
I don't want to be seen as fragile or like a daisy, I want to be someone's girl. Please tell me you get it. WILL BE DELETED.