An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Villainous (Cartoon)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Black Hat (Villainous), Dr. Flug (Villainous), 5.0.5 (Villainous)
Additional Tags: humor followed by angst, i tried but it was stronger than me, Abandonment, some questionable wording on behalf of keeping a theme, black hat yeets a newborn across a lab
Summary:
"What do you know about failures? What do you know about mistakes? This, here, is the real disgrace to the forces of evil. What a complete waste of time."
First chapter of my propaganda/incentive piece for @need-him-pregnant-poll . You can read it HERE. Tenna needs to get past round 3 guys. I pushed this harder and faster than a... No... I shan't say....
WRITING THE [Spam E_male] - A STYLISTIC [Guidance]
Hey guys, I've been told that I write Spamton's speaking quirk very well, and people have expressed interest in seeing a stylistic guide for how I write him, so I thought to make an official pretty one for everyone to see :)
Basic disclaimers, this isn't a "only and correct way to write Spamton", this is what I've surmounted from obsessing about him and writing him in roleplay for almost 5 years. If you disagree with something I take as a rule, that's perfectly fine. I think it's important to figure out rules for how you write Spamton's speech so when you write him he becomes more parseable for a reader and easier to write for you. A Spamton's speaking quirk can make or break a fic, a comic or a roleplay reply, sometimes it's so hard to read my eyes just glaze over it and I just skim to get the gist of what he's saying, which isn't ideal. People should enjoy reading what you wrote, and you should enjoy writing it.
Just like my Gaster stylistic guide, I'll be breaking down his speech quirk in three steps, each more personalized (or, your mileage may vary based on the writer's own interpretation) as the one beforehand:
Typing quirk breakdown
Writing style
Personality
Though, for Spamton, it's not gonna be clearly delimited, as we will see as we go along. Let's get started!
PART 1 - Typing quirk breakdown -- bracket Hell
This is undoubtedly the most important and hardest part to get. Beforehand, I'd like to outline a few canon things about them that are important for your bracket positioning and word choice:
100% involuntary
Are an artifact of addison hyperlinks, because they too use brackets to link to the products they sell
Used to censor him, very deliberately (more on that in a bit)
Spamton has a bit of control over them by choosing his intended words or the length of his phrases.
According to the myriad of official Spamton material out there, I've outlined a few options for where you replace words in a sentence for him:
In place of subjects, objects or verbs, but only one of them per phrase. Try varying between sentences, don't replace only objects or only subjects. Add ons to sentences, like calling someone's name, or filler phrases, are fair game regardless
Replacing entire chunks of sentences, especially as longer brackets
In place of people's names, except for Kris, and maybe Susie. Ralsei is dealer's choice
WITH EXCEPTION. Of when he is speaking in short sentences, of three words or less, except when one of these words is censorable, or someone's name (see below). He often uses short sentences to circumvent his brackets. More on that later.
Well, now I know where to put the brackets. But what's inside them? I came up with a few basic rules for contents:
Advertising speak -- the canned phrases you hear in ads, telemarketing, clickbait and whatnot.
Semantic adjacency -- replacing words with a synonym, antonym, bastardizations or typos, or something semantically related.
Censoring -- we all know these, $4.99 life, little sponge. Wacky phrases or garbage symbols that replace clear swear words, things he shouldn't say in polite company ("AND SOMETIMES IN THE MORNING, A LITTLE [Hyperlink Blocked]"), or things that are related to his contract, the knight, or his benefactor.
Namedrops -- of movies, tv shows, song titles, games, and brands. Ideally, input the year of release or a copyright/trademark symbol after it.
Quotes -- not just of things he or other people said now, but of things said in the past, ad reads, commercials, movie, tv show and song quotes, memes, everything goes.
[Single] and [[Double]] brackets -- when to use??
This is also dealer's choice, and the single vs double bracket thing doesn't seem to have a canon pattern. Sometimes he even uses three or four. But I'll talk about the rules I use, because I run this typing quirk like the navy.
I use single brackets for semantic adjacency, censoring, namedrops and meme quotes. I use double brackets to signal it's a media quote (including ads) and him directly quoting something someone said, either himself or someone else. Double brackets, for my intents, signal that it's a voiceclip inserted into his speech, while others are usually his normal voice distorted, bitcrushed or glitched.
Other quirks
Spamton has other quirks of his speech that should be peppered in among the brackets frequently:
Word and phrase repetition, especially when distressed. It's important that they are not stutters, they are full words and sentences. Sometimes, brackets replace repetitions sequentially ("[Why] DID YOU DO THIS!? WHY!? [Y]!? [Yellow]!? [Gamma]!?")
Frequent typos, including using the wrong symbols (a comma or a quotation mark instead of an apostrophe, for instance) and homophones. My advice? If you make a typo while writing his dialogue, and it's not too egregious, keep it. If it's funny, definitely keep it.
Awkward spacing. (good to communicate cadence and when he glitches and freezes! Use this one more sparingly, though). This also works on the opposite direction -- he sometimes puts words together, like they're variables; HonestMan, HotSingle, etc.
When he's being very serious, melancholic, or scared, he might speak in normal lowercase with proper capitalization, and no brackets. This isn't something to overuse. Use it for impactful things.
PART 2 - Writing style
This is honestly the part I would recommend you start with first. This is the actual character voice you give Spamton. It's a bit your mileage may vary, of course, but if you wanna do it like I do, I break it down like so:
Cadence
Word choices he makes
Brackets then come to replace these words
Before you figure out the brackets, you have to figure out what he wants to say, and how he wants to say it. This can even help guide you on which words to pick to replace, or which words or sentences will come in the brackets.
My personal method is: I pick an accent cadence from an East Coast big city, something like Boston or New York (I choose Boston, but you can do whatever you want, even outside of East Coast). This helps you figure out which words he emphasizes, where his voice raises and dips, the vocabulary he uses, which words he sticks together or drops entirely, etc. If you get through this and you're confident, you have a good Big Shot Spamton Human AU character voice already. Lose some coherence and eloquence, add in a stutter if you want, and you have yourself a human AU current day Spam.
Then, after, you gotta mix this cadence with youtube poop cadence. This comes naturally if you were raised watching them all day long, but if you haven't, I recommend going on youtube a day or two to get your brain rotted a little bit. This also helps with bracket replacement as well as glitches and gags.
Finally, the brackets come in. With a solid base like this, figuring out where brackets go and what goes inside them should be fairly easier.
Some notes:
Sometimes a sentence will only make sense with brackets. This is normal
Sometimes a sentence will not make sense at all. As long as it's intended, that is also normal
Always prize readability over game accuracy. Spamton's speech quirk is definitely not as organized as this, but this is optimized for readability and ease of writing
PART 3 - Personality
Okay, look. Describing Spamton's personality could be a master's thesis on media analysis. I can't write the whole thing here, but I'll try to get the cliffnotes. This is extremely personalized from writer to writer, so if yours diverges from mine, or you disagree somewhere, it's perfectly fine.
Fast paced, manic speaking. Even when he's tired or relaxed, he still speaks fairly fast. Think of the cadence you built up for him!
He talks a lot. A. Lot. He can keep up a conversation with himself, and it's not because he likes the sound of his own voice, but because he just has so much to say, and he will jump from subject to subject at will.
Spamton is smart, don't forget that. He is observant and attentive, but this is cleverly masked under his wacky, manic, unstable persona.
He is also! Stupid! He does things for the bit! He lies for fun!
But he never lies when he's being serious. He may embezzle the truth to make himself sound like more of a victim, but everything he has said so far that sounds like him talking out his ass trying to get pity points has actually been true (about Swatch stealing from him, about Tenna ripping him off and betraying him, among others). You can trust him, he is an HonestMan!
Do take his trauma and mental illness into account, though. Remember he is implied to have been homeless for something along the lines of 20 years, he was already afflicted with divine madness back then, and this has severe impacts on how someone reacts to others, presents themselves, and their outlook in life. Spamton might be more aloof when in company of strangers, he might not be kind, he might be more selfish than you want him to be. And that's fine. It's part of who he is now.
BONUS - HIGHLIGHTS
So, now that we know the method, how about we see it in action? Here's a few personal highlights of my personal writing utilizing his method, between 2021 and today. Sorry if some of these are for ants:
New chapter of I Did Not Get Pregnant At The Annual TVWorldWide Gang Bang (because I wasn't there)
Read it (HERE)
Read from the beginning (HERE)
VOTE FOR TENNA ON ROUND 4 OF THE @need-him-pregnant-poll (HERE)
"Why do you wanna go?!"
Tell Mr. Tenna to name the baby Wolfgang, obviously.
"That's RIDICULOUS!! I'm the one that's going and I'm the one that's gonna give him name suggestions!"
"I think he should name it Tenna Jr." Jongler added, helpfully.
"Tenna Jr?! You guys know nothing. You don't know ball."
"I, uh, I don't think he has any, boss."
"Oh, Spamton, thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He cried. "I love you, I love you so much!!"
Spamton grinned at his delight, went on his tippy toes to fumble with the cord on the bedside table lamp so they could have some comfortable light, grabbed the bags from the shadowman and told the two of them to get out of there. He climbed on the bed to show the rest of the gifts — those were for their children. Way more nappies than they knew what to do with, a handful of stuffed animals, and a few teething toys ("If there's any addison in them, they're gonna start teething fast," Spamton explained). Tenna blossomed, and almost didn't cry, surrounded by all these lovely gifts Mike would be able to put in the nursery soon.
Something still gnawed at him, something the myriad of gifts and unexpected early return couldn't shake away, and after Spamton finished telling the story of what a great deal he got on the bundle of stuffed farm animals, he started.
"Spamton, darling… Can we talk?"
thank you to @normal-sane-era for this lovely commission!
New chapter for Elephant in the Room! This one's a big one. Read it (here)!
Read it from the beginning (here)!
Kris' intense eyesight jumped from Postal, to Matildə, to Tenna, head slightly down, almost feverish, like something else was controlling their actions. Postal lowered his pipe and furrowed his brows.
"Are you alright, kid?"
"Oh, Kris!!" Tenna seemed unfazed, or perhaps clueless. "These are my, uh, these are my children! Matildə here just had an appointment at the eye doctor's! I think YOU might be overdue for one, too!"
The human lifted their gauntleted hand to reach the dual-toned glasses sitting on their head, nestled right above the bangs falling haphazardly over their eyes, a diadem they kept perched on their head and seldom ever touched. They took the flimsy piece of armor off, folded it, and extended their hand to Matildə. It's for her, they seemed to say.
