I WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR CRANE POSTS BC I JUST CAUGHT UP W/ THE ADVENTURES OF SKELETON MAN AND BIRDWIFE AND IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY ABT SWAP!PAPYRUS AND HOBO BIRD PRINCESS ID LOVE TO HEAR ABT IT
*cracks knuckles* (to start i’ll leave these here since they’re Old)
So, I’ve grown unreasonably fond of the idea of Crane being an Inquisitor in Underswap, so I’ll talk about the setup for that a bit. So, first off, Crane came to the city when she was a kid... under the protection of Inquisitor Grizzly.
See, Virgil’s still a massive dick in this one, and what’s even worse is that his particular form of being a Murderous Bastard didn’t get caught super quickly. He actually became the Primus.
You can imagine that, when the Inquisitor found out thaT holy fucking shit he’s literally experimenting on children, shit hit the metaphorical fan. Once again, Grizzly didn’t actually manage to kill him, but he did oust him from the city and manage to save the motley of kids in his basement. He found them various homes around the city - they were all children with talent - but two of them he wanted to oversee the training of himself.
A fourteen year old Legbiter and, the girl he called his little sister, an eleven year old Crane.
Both were Pure, in that they’re completely untaintable by the Beast, but both were also pretty clearly fucked up and weren’t really good at integrating with ‘human’ society. But they take pretty well to Grizzy, so he starts training them - and he actually finds Crane a pretty good candidate for an Inquisitor At first, he’s a bit leery of the idea, and he’d rather his third student, Astra, become the Inquisitor, but then the Dragons step in and are like.... naw.
Naw.
You’re making Crane the Inquisitor.
Oh, by the way, since the previous Primus was literally a murderer and the Primus before that is dead, uh, the Cult of the Dragon steps in to take control of the city, and they start making some... Changes. But this is all boring background stuff, isn’t it? You want to hear about Crane and Papyrus.
So, even despite all Grizzly’s help, Crane’s got some Problems, and she really has no drive to do anything but do her duties. If she’s not working, she’s sleeping, because things are Just Too Tiring, and there’s still so much social stuff she just doesn’t get. She still doesn’t understand jokes, she still is baffled by tons of human concepts, and, honestly? Despite being 5′ tall, most people think she’s too scary to try to befriend her, because she can actually pick up a car.
Most of her knowledge she gets from Arithmos - the member of the Dragon Cult who ended up becoming the Primus. (Oh by the way yeah Arithmos is some weird dragon cultist and in the background there is a love story of some idiot traumatized dog becoming intensely loyal to some irritable dragon dude. And they both have a bird for a little sister.) It’s still patchy, though, and Crane is still plenty weird and prefers sleeping in a park during her time off.
Enter: Stage Papyrus.
Well, okay. Calling it ‘entering’ might be a bit too generous. See, Papyrus knows about Crane for a long time before he actually talks to her. He’s another frequent visitor of her favorite park, and, gosh, he can’t help but think she’s like some weird fairy tale princess with how much the birds like her, and how she’s sleeping though.
And, ok, she’s cute, and occasionally the kids wake her up and she plays with them a little and - okay, he might have a bit of a crush off the bat, but he’s a lazy guy and a relationship just seems like so much.... work. Besides, he’s a loser and she can literally slamdunk a basketball when she puts her mind to it. There’s n o w a y.
They first meet when Papyrus is walking out late one night, having just gotten off his shift at the convenience store. It’s pouring out rain, but Sans forced him to take a raincoat so he’s doing pretty okay, and he’s not too far from home when he finds himself in the path of a rampaging magus.
Crane, of course, saves him.
Ok, gotta admit, his dokis are doki-ing pretty hard right now. Like, he probably could have saved himself but GOD was she cool, and, also, now she’s dripping wet because it’s pouring out rain and she doesn’t have a raincoat. Obviously, he gives him hers. And. She’s just. Too cute. in his overly large raincoat with this wizard slung over her shoulder who she’s going to take home.
he’s gotta abscond. it’s too much for him.
Only afterwards - when she gets home and, of course, the Primus is fretting over her because it was POURING - does she realize.. oh. yeah. i.
i gotta return this guy’s coat and i have no idea where he lives.
She’s the Inquisitor, though, and being an Inquisitor gives you a good skillset for finding that shit out, so after asking around she pays a visit to the Skeleton Brothers house. Where, obviously, Swap!Sans meets her and....... becomes incredibly taken with his brotheR TALKING TO A GIRL HOLY SHIT. COME IN. HAVE SOME............. IDK HAVE SOME POTATO CHIPS SHIT BRO WE GOTTA MAKE HER SOMETHING NICE.
Crane is dragged in and treated to a day at the skelebros house.
Long story short, Papyrus is internally screaming because he has a huge crush, Sans is desperate to set them up, and -- actually, the Primus is pretty down with this, because a.) being younger and b.) having this weird bird girl in his family for so long has made him more.... hopeful? Than his canon counterpart. He believes that things with monsters can maybe he ok. He believes in the goodness of other people. So he’s encouraging this too.
There are lots of really stupid family dinners where the skeleton brothers have food at the animal people house.
(PS i’ve got the long, slow shift at work so if y’all have more AU questions.......)
