#maglor hc

[noldclante]

Really sad, toxic Momglor & kidnap fam thoughts, and how my Maglor is struggling with his mental health and clinging to E² as trauma coping.

tw mental health struggles, obviously.

Maglor helped raise his younger brothers and loved every moment of it. When they got into trouble, they'd run to him or Maedhros rather than their parents. 

In Beleriand he was the replacement mama for them, and oohhh boy, he didn't cope well when they died. Right in front of his eyes too, because Maglor was present during all of the kinslayings.

He spent at least two hours every day performing mourning rites for them.

Now, the deaths of Amrod and Amras, HIS BABIES, totally destroyed him. This is partly why he latched onto a new set of twins (E²). I mean, that and his overwhelming guilt. Not-so-fun fact: he'd call them Amrod and Amras sometimes :,)))

As much as I enjoy writing and talking about wholesome kidnap fam, it's just "wholesome" on a surface level bc actually, it's toxic as fuck if I'm being honest.

One, Maglor is a KINSLAYER, driven by an Oath to kill despite his gentle heart, and it ruined him. Two, it took a severe toll on his mental health & the entire kidnap fam situation is essentially his maladaptive trauma response.

I think he'd fallen into depression long before Sirion. His life was a never ending shit-show and he could never process his grief properly. The third kinslaying simply snuffed out what remained of his already fragile sanity.

And so, isolated with just the twins, Maedhros, and their decimated household, he constructed an alternate reality and clung to it desperately:

they were a real family. They were happy.

The family he'd always dreamed of but been denied.

I joke about him being a helicopter mom for E², but his hypervigilance stems from Maglor being genuinely TERRIFIED of anything happening to the twins. I mean just IMAGINE; he JUST lost his baby twin brothers (they were always his babies, no matter how old they got) and he absolutely cannot survive going through that again.

Maglor is anxious watching E² climb trees. He won't let them touch a sword. He'll lose his fucking mind if they're in the gardens and they disappear from sight for a minute.

On bad days this might trigger his ptsd, panic attacks and complete breakdowns over seemingly "nothing" to outside observers.

Also, Maglor protects his fantasy fiercely. Challenge his delusion and he turns dangerous.

Imagine this soft-spoken, gentle singer becoming absolutely UNHINGED all of the sudden; screaming, crying, even turning physically violent when triggered badly enough.

He'd go as far as attacking people (including Maedhros). He might have injured or even killed a servant or two...

Nelyo had to develop strategies for talking him down before he hurts someone or himself.

[somepinkthing]

I headcanon maglor short because it's funny to make the oldest sibling short but obv the shortest brother can't be maedhros the tall. Also imagine him kinda plain looking by noldorian standards, like his mom (he later finds out that he is very pretty by sindarian standards tho)

Idk I like the idea of feanor's shrimpiest, least eye-catching son releasing a song of power that accidentally shatters all the palace windows the first time he sings in front of an audience. He almost brings the roof down right after with his crying but feanor and maedhros were luckily nearby (they expected this outcome)

[happyperle]

Tell us more about your Kanamiriel Makalaure AU please!

Yaaaay thank you for the ask ! A thousand hugs to you ! 😘

I have a lot of thoughts about the Fem!maglor au .

First of all she and Maedhros are Irish twins . She was born with an outrageously close age gap to her brother ( which is a few years in the Reckoning of elves)

So they share a lot of their childhood together doing a thousand fun stuff .

I think Nerdanel when raising her made a point to make her feel comfortable not conforming to the feminine ideal imposed by the court . She really want her daughter to have an out of the very codified life of a princess . If she want to cut her hair and run in the mud with her brother it is fine and great actually. She does so all the time when they are travelling around.

I think Feanor agrees but with a little bit of hidden not so hidden 1expectation that at one point she will turn to more feminine activities and keep miriels memory alive in the circles that Feanor can't reach due to gender and combat India's Influence . I think that the elves have a pretty mixed society but at the same time there is places that strictly for women Vs strictly for men (idk if it makes sense) .

So Laure (btw I think she go by her amilisse more often than not because of the weight of Miriel's name ) end up being quite the feminine presenting person with pretty jewel and pretty dresses and whatever , but I do think Nerdanel did help her feeling comfortable with her feminity as a choice not an obligation .

Her and Indis don't really interact much but I like to think that her and Findis did get along at one point and she did help her out with the ropes of court , their relationship fizzled out later1 as feanor Vs nolo got worse and Findis left to live with her Vanya kin

Both Galadriel and Aredhel are much much younger than her , so at one point she was the cool hot older cousin ( if you had one you know ) , I think they had a nice courteous relationship not quite friendship but a cordial one . Well until the hair incident and Galadriel never forgave her for not even saying anything to Feanor about it (not a girls girl behaviour)

She is still a great minstrel and poet , and a relatively good smith because feanor is teaching all his kids his favorite subjects

Finwe.... I do think that she don't share that much physical ressemblance to Miriel , she look very finwean in colouring and features and finer is guiltily glad for that because he don't know what he would have done if she was her physical copy , she is also of a gentler temperament than both feanor and Miriel . He still get flashback tho , because they have the same smile , the same eyes and laugh ..... And voice . Miriel used to sing a lot . I like to imagine FINWE telling her stories of Cuievien with Miriel when she was small .

With feanor I have this idea of a dynamic where he is less harsh but more demanding if her than her siblings . Like she didn't really have a choice learning and doing weaving because when she abandoned the craft her dad literally started crying ( in private) but kids can tell and you don't need to say an expectation for it to exist and she never seen her dad cry before and oh my god she is a bad daughter ?

I do also think she does a lot of emotional labor and managing for his dad .

i will do a separate fenaor post once the ideas settle

Unrelated and this is very much later in time , the twins at the beginning of the kidnap fam confuse her sometimes with elwing especially when she is not braiding her hair and go around wearing a simple white dress .

Her and Maedhros and findekano used to be very close friends , until people started shipping her and findekano and they both hated it and it made it awkward.

Her and Daeron are a short lived thing . During the feast of reuniting the fall in love , and keep correspondence for a while and even meet up ..... Until the secret get out and yeah....

She meets him again after he left doriath because of the Luthien situation but before the C and C scheme and they kinda flirt and stuff.

They are a thing again in Rivendell in the third age but don't get married until Valinor fourth age

The idea of their relationship is really a situationship from hell

She still is régent because feanor always said that his claim comes as much from Miriel Queen as FINWE the king

So his siblings were 100% behind her being crwoned don't be fooled that don't make them feminist kings . It is more of course she can rule she is feanorian , a daughter of the noldor .

An exeption not the rule .

Maedhros still gives her the gap and they are still super close as adult siblings !

Also she is jealous af that Luthien sang morgoth to sleep for a silmaril like jealous sick , sick to her stomach singing is her thing !!!!!!

She is terrified of pregnancy and will never be pregnant she got the kids she stole thank you !

She liked haleth a lot , and in this universe she knows early on about the relationship because asking your brother about how to woo a lady is one thing and your sister another . She advice him to respect her autonomy and he does so much she don't leave this time !

She had a fiancé in Valinor she didn't like all that much that FINWE kinda arranged for her not directly but like in a wink wink wouldn't it be so great if you .... And him were a thing ? Idk about this fiance yet but it was political purposes and she is soooo happy to ditch him to go in exile with her dad

This time around Nerdanel ask for her and the twins during the flight of the Noldor .

She still swears the oath a lot of artistic depictions of the oath leave him out of it .

She burns the ships Maedhros don't , a lot of artistic depictions make her join him in not burning it because .... A woman wouldn't do that . as if her and nelyo dont hold the worls recorsd for elvish kinslaying .

she is a warrior princess in beleriand , she hold the gap for centuries and centuries and a LOT of battles , less after the battle of sudden flame , because she got wounded and that is one of the most traumatising days of her life

her hair get silver streaks at the end of the first age