connecting with your alterhumanity & sharing it with the community is something ive always been intimidated by. trying to explain how exactly i feel about my identity has been something thats been made feel taboo by anyone ive ever tried to really explain it to before (thanks carmen) - so ive sat on the topic alot. maybe a bit too long
i like to think that we were made to be anything but a person. we kin alot of fictional species , otherwordly or 'alien' things - & we have a list of theriotypes (many of us have multiple , so it gets complicated)
for myself (clementine) i kin rainwings (the species) + have a spotted hyena theriotype , but for some of our headmates they have multiple theriotypes. we all feel alterhumanity to some extent , it just gets kinda complicated !! not that it cancels out our individual alterhumanity
so basically , we all believe to some extent that we were supposed to be. various things but not a person. we feel like multiple animals in a trenchcoat , or a hoarde of animals & all sorts of things in a trenchcoat which is why we consider ourselves a 'chimera' to some extent. thats why our collective sona doesnt really have one specific animal or anything that theyre based off of , just kinda a bunch of things that literally masks themselves as one. we honestly feel really scattered & fragmented alot of the time !! everything is kind of everywhere & trying to fully express alterhumanity varies depending on whos fronting & circumstances. we like to wear tails & have gotten into making masks , sometimes even wearing kandi or jewelry themed or resembling some of our theriotypes & kins help. or sometimes we draw paws or hooves or claws on the fronts or bottoms of our shoes - honestly whatever that we feel like. it varies & sometimes we dont express it at all some days & weve accepted that its fine because some days you feel good enough about it or just dont feel like it ! & thats ok. we're learning to feel better about it & thats ok. we have a long way to go
ive learned that its ok to not fully know right now & understand that i have time. we're a minor still , although big things are coming soon & we wont be a minor for much longer (at all rn) - theres time. does this mean i can just not work on things now ? no ! im going to find myself & find out who i am & how i can express myself. im finding myself & im finding ways to be comfortable with myself. we are learning to be comfortable with myself
to everyone reading , please take the time you have & give yourself the grace you deserve. especially if you're young. you dont need to know everything & dont let anyone tell you that you have to. im honestly tired of seeing people online preaching how easy it is to figure things out because its not. its really not & thats alright , its alright & dont beat yourself up for it.
im learning. we're learning. we're all learning. & thats ok. i wish everyone nothing but the best for everything !