I’m in the midst of an anxiety attack and need to get my words out thanks
Hey. I know you follow me. I know that the next time you check your tumblr, you will see this on your dash. I was curious to see what’s been going on in the life of Rosie Posie Cotton Tail. I checked, and then the wave of dread and depression hit me like a stick. Like the inspiration stick. Hah, get it? That was our thing. We’d bash each other in the skull with the metaphorical inspiration stick.
Do you miss me like I miss you? Not as in I want us to be friends again. That could never happen, I won’t let it. You traumatized me with your words, your actions. You bullied me. But yet, I still miss you. I miss you as in I wish things hadn’t ended the way they did. I never got closure. I’m not allowed to talk to you directly. I don’t want to talk to you directly. Seeing you with that group, it triggers me. It hurts knowing that I have no friends anymore. Do you know what tore us apart? Was it fate, destiny, a counselor? What happened? I deleted all of our conversations. I deleted you on most social media platforms. I threw away all of the gifts you got me, all of the drawings you gave me. Did you throw away the drawings I gave you? I can’t even look at the snapchat stories your friends have anymore because it triggers me.
I just wanted you to know I’m not okay. After everything that happened, I relapsed cutting. I started therapy. I started anti-depressants/anxiety medications. I stopped cutting. I relapsed again. I wrote a suicide note. I attempted suicide. I went into a mental hospital for a week. I got out and stayed in the office of the school for the last two weeks of school. I couldn’t even walk through lunch without nearly breaking down into tears. I had no one there for me. I have no one there for me. Do you understand the consequences of your bullying? I nearly fucking died. Do you care? Do you even care, Irene?
Give me some fucking closure, would you?
